(Closed) Am I crazy or is this rude?!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 33
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Moonbear17:  i do not think you can really assume it is not a financial thing because of the cost of the venue. my venue is the most expensive part of our wedding, and we are limited to a small wedding due to money, but splurged on a venue we really wanted. they could have done the same. you are jumping to conclusions. 

Post # 34
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@mrsrecon:  Everyone with a live in partner SHOULD get a plus one. For some coples, it’s the same as being married.

Post # 35
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Bubbles42: but everyone’s wedding is different. 

Post # 36
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@mrsrecon:  I think it’s rude to not take you guests and their spouses in mind when choosing a venue. Writing a guest list was the first thing we did and we budgeted based on that. I loved a venue that was $105 pp, but I was not willing to cut guests for it.

Post # 37
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@mrsrecon:  Well I guess you wouldn’t be mad if you were invited to a wedding without your  FI. I would. I guess we disagree.

Post # 38
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Sounds like someone is trying to cut corners on their catering costs….

For the fact that 1) He’s in the wedding party as a groomsmen 2) He was told beforehand you would be invited as well. Yes, VERY RUDE!!! Your fiance nearly-to-be-husband shouldn’t be able to go without you! If you two were married, I doubt they would dare to not invite you.

I just asked my fiance what he would do in that scenario and he said “I would have a serious problem with that.” If anyone is allowed a date it should be the bridal party!!! Maybe if it was some cousin you weren’t that close to who wasn’t in the bridal party, it would be okay to not invite his girlfriend. But the groomsmen who was already told he can bring his woman?

He should refuse to go unless he can bring you, that’s not right.

Post # 39
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@mrsrecon: having a small wedding doesn’t mean you get to dismiss other people’s relationships. We’re also having a small wedding and sure there are people I would rather have there than my friends’ live-in boyfriend who I don’t know very well, but some things come part and parcel with having a small wedding. Especially for a semi-destination wedding for someone in the wedding party

Post # 40
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@mrsrecon: I also disagree, I don’t think just because you give one person a plus one means everyone else gets a plus one. If I was invited to a cousin’s wedding where I had to fly somewhere, I wouldn’t expect them to give me a plus one for example. Or any family’s wedding where I wasn’t that close to them, I wouldn’t expect a plus one.

Post # 41
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@Moonbear17:  $8,000 just for the venue is really expensive to me! LOL But if they don’t have money to invite a plus one for someone who should have a plus one, then they shouldn’t invite that couple period!

You know what…. this couple will probably not have that many people at their wedding because Karma will come back to bite them for being so rude lol I think only 50-75% of the people one invites to their wedding actually show up (I don’t know the actual percentage, but that seems realistic to me). So I don’t know why they are worried about having room. I’m sure someone else won’t show up.

Post # 42
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@MrsFutureG:  +1, this is what I have always heard in terms of wedding etiquette, and what we followed when giving our guests plus ones.

I definitely think this is rude, the wedding is semi-destination for you, your Fiance is in the wedding party, and you are engaged/living together.  Any one of those reasons should be enough for your Fiance to be able to bring to you to the wedding.  Plus, the fact that your Fiance checked with them before invitations went out to make sure you were invited, just puts the icing on the cake!  Definitely not okay in my books.

Post # 43
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

+20 to anyone that told you how rude this is of them.  It is an obvious snub to you and to anyone they call a friend.  It is unfortunate that so many people of our world are built this way…keep it on your list of things to NEVER do to someone else!

Post # 46
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

.. wow.

That is so rude, it isn’t even funny.

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