(Closed) Am I doing the right thing?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I’m going to be honest, that was pretty difficult to read without any paragraph breaks.  But YES I think you are doing the right thing in getting rid of this guy who has put you through such heartbreak and torment.  You need to do what is best for your little girl.  There are plenty of guys out there who will respect you and treat you the way you should be treated and not be reckless and irresponsible.  Your heart will heal, and you will be much better off without this guy.  Hang in there!

Post # 4
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You are making the best choice from what I read.  If he hasn’t gotten help yet he isn’t ready.  I would suggest that you look up al-anon it could really help you. I suggest this because I have experience in 12 step fellowships I will celebrate 22years in 2 weeks.  You first take care of you, because if you don’t take care of you then you will not be able to take care of your daughter. If you need someone to listen I can.  prayers and hugs to you

Post # 5
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Don’t go back. Just… don’t.  Take your little girl, and be safe. If he takes you to court, I doubt he stands a chance of getting custody. At most, he’ll probably get some visitation rights. He has a drinking problem, a reckless driving ticket and 3 recent accidents. No judge in his right mind would give that man custody. If anything, he might order a set amount of child support that could help you. You might even ask the judge for a court order preventing him from driving with your daughter in the car, as he clearly can’t maintain control of a vehicle. 

I know this must be very hard, and you have my deepest sympathy. But you will only help yourself, and your daughter, by getting out. He’s made it clear what his priorities are and they are not you or your child. 

Post # 6
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not going to lie, I did not read the whole thing bc it was so hard with no paragraph breaks. However, this line jumped off the page at me “One day he would say we were together the next we weren’t. He was playing games with my heart like crazy.”

Based on that and that alone, I say if you are leaving his game playing ass then YES you are absolutely doing the right thing! A man who loves you will not play games like that with you. He will commit himself fully to you in good times and in bad and will never jerk you around like that. Those types of relationships are draining, exhausting and emotionally abusive. I’ve been there, get out and you will feel sooo much better. STability is so important in a relationship, and especially for a child.

Post # 7
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Leaving is the best thing you can do for your daughter. Always remember that your daughter will grow looking up to the man in her life and most likely will marry someone like him. You want your daughter to have a real man as a role model if any at all. 

Being a single mom is hard but much better than in the situation you are in with this man. I was in a similar situation and I am so glad I left because I am now married to a wondeful man and my daughters have a good man to look up to. 

I wish you the best and you can always message me if you need to talk. 

Post # 8
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

Sweetheart, you are making the right decision by not going back to him, and you do deserve better. You sound like a really sweet and good person, and this man sounds like a jerk and well, really unpredictable. He could make your life Hell and already has, and until he proves that he won’t (which seems unlikely), I would not get back together with him. You can find someone who will take care of YOU.

 

Post # 9
Member
2903 posts
Sugar bee

Leave and try to never look back. I wouldn’t even try to get child support if it meant having to deal with that person. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

PS. I always tend towards the “anything can be worked out” camp, but after reading what you’ve been through, I think that IF, and a big IF, he were ever to be able to be a good husband and father, he needs to grow up ON HIS OWN and deal with his problems, and not jerk your heart around with him.

Leave him, and you will either meet better or else this guy will grow up, but don’t let him cause you any more suffering!

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