(Closed) Am I doing too much as a bride???

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Personally, I would let my friends take the lead and provide them with suggestions if they ask.  You’re certainly entitled to tell them the few things you definitely DO and DON’T want at your parties/showers/etc., but I would give them room for creativity.  They probably want the chance to plan something special for you with their own ideas.

TBH, I would be a little annoyed as bridesmaid/MOH if I was being instructed to carry out specific plans.  It’s not fun that way.

Post # 5
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think that’s too much. It’s nice to have an idea in mind. Let your girls know this and that you are willing to share ideas…. BUT, I would completely leave the details up to them. If they ask for ideas, that’s when you share. But its really their area of planning and they may feel undermined as friends if you do everything they want to do for you! I say sit back and enjoy whatever they come up with. 

Post # 6
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Seconded, I think it’s too much. It’s fine to say: “I kinda perfer low key weekends” it’s not fine to tell them: I want a low key weekend here, and go on this wine tasting, and have that decor… Have some faith.

Post # 7
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sure you have the best of intentions, but yes – you need to step away from the bachelorette and bridal shower planning.  No tips, no hints, no suggestions- unless you’re asked.  These arent your parties to host, you know?

 

I’m dealing with this now too as I’m very much a planner – but early on in the engagement I told my cousin/MOH that I really didn’t want to have a shitshow night out bachelorette party and preferred to do a cabin in a local state park.  I left it at that, and she took it and ran with it and just booked a 12 person cabin for the weekend after confirming it with the others.  

You can do this!  Just sit back and relax and let them throw you a party they want to have for you.   Your party is the wedding itself 🙂

Post # 10
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@ms.oregon.state: If you feel bad, I think you could shoot your girls an email saying something like, “Sorry if I’ve come across as overzealous about the party planning!  You all know it’s in my nature to coordinate fun events, but I’ve realized that I just want to sit back and let you girls plan what you want for me.  I know it will be a blast no matter what you come up with!”

Or else, just stop sending them Pinterest pics, and when/if they suggest ideas to you, respond enthusiastically.  Smile

Post # 11
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Lol, I am also a event planner and I am enjoying my wedding planning. So far all my bridesmaid and family is excited with all the plans. I feel the pressure is on me because everyone is expecting an over the top event because I should know all the ins and out of planning an event. I feel if you are being mean or crazy about the planning then you are being a bridezilla. I am doing about 85% of the planning and making myself so I am not really bugging to many people to do anything. Now on the day of the wedding, I already told my girls to expect to get messy because we have a lot of work to do and set up. (I hope I am not a bridezilla on that day).

Post # 12
Member
516 posts
Busy bee

I understand how excited you are about things, so I don’t think you should feel badly.  I don’t even think it’s out-of-bounds to hand over your inspiration documents/ideas over to your Maid/Matron of Honor.  I think your girls might appreciate some guidance as to what you want to do  . . .

That said, I wouldn’t request any of it.  I’d just offer your materials as a guide.  That way, if they can’t afford to get a beach house for the weekend, they can still provide a similar experience, just within parameters that work for them.

Good luck!

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