Am I dumb for breaking up with a great guy without a good reason?

posted 2 months ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

Sounds like you do have a good reason for breaking up with him. He might be the nicest guy in the world, but the two of you aren’t compatible. You have different interests and different goals in life. It’s nobody’s fault; you’re just not a good match.

Post # 3
Member
9365 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

None of those are small things. They are big compatibility issues – especially the kids thing. You are allowed to say you want someone who is on the same page as you about those things. They are all valid reasons for ending a relationship.

Post # 4
Member
1323 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

I’m failing to see how he’s such a great guy, but if you’re having these doubts now I can tell you they will only intensify over time. I’d cut my losses and break it off. 

Post # 6
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

In my personal experience, these are total deal breakers. Some more than others. Just from personal experience, being an animal lover is a huge win for me. My 2 dogs are like my babies.. and will always be my babies. If any guy tried to tell me they couldnt sleep in bed with me, I’d be like… gtfo.

 

Same with the active thing.. if you’re not a heavy drinker, and you prefer to be active, you’ll be constantly annoyed. 

 

Just my two cents.

Post # 8
Member
476 posts
Helper bee

You have many reasons here. The kid thing is quite a large one! Not to mention your very different lifestyles when it comes to activities.

And dogs and cats and any fur baby are just as important and you should be able to put all the time and energy into your furbaby. I have a cat and I love her to pieces. I would do anything for her.

I broke up with a guy last year (with the help of the bees on here – they’re awesome) and nothing crazy big was wrong but incompatability. We were 8 months down the road and I was ready to start thinking of moving in together (which we talked about) and spending more time together. Neither of those worked out well and he even wanted me to give up my cat if we moved in together because it would bother his eyes SOMETIMES. Yeah no! And he had a harley and would barely ride it! Like come on!

Anyway, the point is, you have quite a few reasons and you’re young. Don’t give up the things you want to do for a guy. I’ve done that too and boy did that kick me in the ass. You should own a dog and be active and have someone who is active with you and shares the same life goals.

Just because it’s healthy, doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Post # 10
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Incompatability is the best reason to break up!  Its a good thing that you discovered this before you became emotionally invested.

Post # 11
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

 

lifelovemountains :  The reason is – this relationship isnt working for you. Thats a good reason. Not dumb at all.

Post # 12
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

lifelovemountains :  Not all opposites attract. I too am really outdoorsy, and my fiancé wasn’t, but has become much more so since we’ve been together. He loves exploring, camping, etc. He played college sports, so he is an athlete, so it wasn’t too difficult to get him outdoors. I can’t picture myself with someone who would chose to be sedentary. I think you did yourself (and him) a favor. 

Post # 13
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper

lifelovemountains :  you have perfectly valid reasons, but even if you didn’t just a simple “because I’m not feeling this relationship” is plenty! 

Post # 14
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

lifelovemountains :  Your title implies you don’t have a good reason, but you do. You’re incompatible in many ways. That in itself is more than enough reason to break up with someone, and it’s better to do it at 5 months, then to wait and give both of you false hope of this lasting. Not to mention, one of your incompatibilities has been classified as a possible dealbreaker! That’s a huge reason to take a deep look at if you’d be happy with someone who doesn’t like the same things you do, views pets completely differently than you do, and the biggest, absolutely huge issue, is that you have differing views on children and how many you’d like to have, or for you, if you even want them. 

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