Am I dumb for breaking up with a great guy without a good reason?

posted 2 months ago in 20 Something
Post # 16
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

these two are my absolute life. i hand make their food (lol i know) and treat them as though they’re my children. i dont dress them in silly outfits or anything, they’re just crazy spoiled. My fiance and I got both of these dogs together and have raised them their entire lives. He treats them just as well as I do and I could never put up with a man who didnt.

Post # 17
Member
64 posts
Worker bee

ugh. i dont know why that photo is sideways. 

Post # 18
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

lifelovemountains :  I treat my dogs and my future step-dog pretty close to children. They will be in my wedding, they get the best food and medical care and I do dress mine is silly outfits 😂 Here they are last Halloween, they all dressed in a Star Wars theme.

Post # 19
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

You have listed plenty of reasons why this relationship isn’t right for you.

My dogs are 100% my children. I am in the same boat as you. I’m not 100% sure that I want to have kids, but I will always have dogs. 

Post # 20
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

dracarys :  lol just because he doesn’t like to hike and do outdoorsy stuff doesn’t mean he isn’t a good guy. You are failing to see why he is a good guy because she didn’t list any of his good qualities- only the things they are not compatable on.

Post # 21
Member
1831 posts
Buzzing bee

You sound like an incredibly mature woman for thinking about this so carefully. I really think it’s awesome how aware you are of what you want for your life and how or how he doesn’t fit in with that. Seriously your attitude is what every woman should have. 

Listen to your gut, it’s telling you that your life goals arent similar enough for you two to be a match. And that’s ok! One of the biggest lessons I leaned in dating that I wish I knew earlier on is, love isn’t enough. Love is the easy part. But compatibility, same life goals and interests are way harder. 

A lifetime of sitting on the beach isn’t for you. So move it along. Plenty of guys out there who will be excited and enthusiastic to be active out in the world with you, Inspiring you and pushing you to be better. 

Post # 22
Member
1142 posts
Bumble bee

Definitely incompatible.

Personally I don’t see a problem with any of his values and lifestyle, I would agree on / happy to accept / compromise on most of these views. I love animals, dogs and cats alike, but I don’t see them or treat them as children. I also want one child but negotiable on possibly two. Lying around by the beach relaxing sounds good to me for a holiday (with some activities mixed in). 

Problem is, you have completely different ideas on these things. So he might be a great match for someone else and you might be a great match for someone else, but not with each other. 

You’re both still so young, better off both moving on and find someone else and not waste time trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Post # 23
Member
6013 posts
Bee Keeper

You do not want the same things. He is not your person. Free both of you to find compatible. partners.

Post # 24
Member
2826 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

mcoutinho :  both of your dogs are precious, but the fluffier one is amazing! he is so cute!!!

Post # 26
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

lifelovemountains :  yes. I put my pets on the same level as children, and someone who wasn’t interested in having my cat around I would *NOT* stay with, under any circumstances. 
you love what you love. We don’t have to despise someone in order for it to simply not be a good fit romantically.  Sometimes it’s just not really a fit. Better for you both to be honest, cut ties, with kindness, and move on. 

Post # 27
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

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Post # 28
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

Yep, she’s absolutely my baby! Anyone who wanted to treat her differently would definitely not be the man for me!

Post # 29
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

futuremrs2020 :  thank you! He is a precious little guy. We found him as a stray about 6 months ago, couldn’t find his owners, and decided to keep him. It has worked out great and they are BFFs now (most of the time) 😊

Post # 30
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

To respond to your update post. Yes I absolutely do put my cat to the same level as my child. I have a daughter but I also love my cat just as much. We usually refer to him as my daughter’s furry brother because he is! Maybe this makes me a crazy cat lady but I give 0 craps.

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