Am I dumb for breaking up with a great guy without a good reason?

posted 2 months ago in 20 Something
Post # 31
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

A person doesn’t have to have a big flaw or be bad to be wrong for you. Nothing wrong with moving on.

Post # 32
Member
6864 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

He doesn’t have to be a bad guy to make him wrong for you. You guys clearly aren’t on the same path in life and sticking it out just because he’s a nice guy isn’t going to serve you well later in life. You should be seeking out someone who wants the same things as you. I’m not saying a couple needs to 100% have all the same hobbies or likes, but at some point you need to at least enjoy doing things together. 

Post # 33
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

lifelovemountains :  Never apologize for leaving a relationship with someone who doesn’t want the same things you do.

I dated my ex for 3 years. He hated children, family, friends, people, Disney movies, volunteering, charity, the outdoors, physical activity, sex, holidays, art – basically everything I love. He could have treated me like a goddess and it wouldn’t have changed those things. For three years I never put out Halloween candy, put up Christmas lights, watched Independence Day fireworks, held a child, went hiking, had my family over for dinner, went for walks with him, went on a date to an art museum. Never. I gave up all the things I love because of him.

Not only does my current boyfriend love all those things I listed, but he does all of them WITH me. When I do something, he’s by my side, when I share my ideas, he’s excited. I know it feels like there was no reason to break up, but there was. One of you would have to change for the other and that’s no way to live. You can’t bend until you snap. When you find someone who treats you well AND has the same values, you won’t think twice about anyone else. It’s an amazing feeling and that person will make you happier than ever.

Once the date nights stop and the sex slows, friendship is what’s left between old couples. Having the same interests is very important.

Post # 35
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

Get a dog, walk in the park and before you know it you will meet the right man. The right man will come up to you when he sees you with your dog. Dog lovers do find each other.

 

Post # 36
Member
3508 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

lifelovemountains :  Totally not throwing away a great relationship for nothing. It sounds like you really like each other, but are just very different. It’s SO hard to make a long-term relationship work with someone who doesn’t share any of your interests. It always good to have some of your own interests as well, but you need to have common ones! You’ve listed some pretty big issues here, I think it’s really smart to analyze things and it’s definitely not wrong to say “I think you’re an amazing person, but you’re just not the right person for me”

There are definitely guys out there who love dogs, the outdoors and traveling! Just be patient, live your best life, get a pup (and post pics!) and the right guy will come along!

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