- 8 years ago
While I’ve posted a few times, I haven’t really written anything about my SO and I, so here’s a little backstory before I ask my question…..K and I met through a mutual friend in August 2006 and moved in together seven months later. Things have been great, with some minor bumps here and there, but nothing we haven’t been able to work through. We are both each other’s first very serious relationship and of course have had to get used to living together and sharing a life together. (By the way, if it matters, I’ll be 27 in Sept. and he’ll be 30 in Feb.)
Within the first few months of living together, I decided that he was it…the man I want to spend the rest of my life with! Soon after, we casually talked about it and he told me that he saw us being married as well. I was ecstatic! I knew at that time our financial situation wasn’t the best, and I honestly wasn’t ready to start planning a wedding so soon, so I was ok with the conversation being so casual.
Well…fast forward 3.5 years later to now and nothing has really changed! We seem to talk and re-evaluate things every six months or so, but I feel like we have not gotten anywhere! We are more serious when we talk now; like now he says he has NO doubt that he wants to marry me, but hasn’t really made many attempts at getting to that point. Our financial situation is the same, if not worse than before (SO lost his job earlier this year, for about 6 months). A few months back I found a ring that I love, and it happened to be VERY cheap! I showed it to him, and then in conversation one night he said that he didn’t want to get me that ring because it was so cheap, and he was afraid something like that would just fall apart. Well…hmm! I guess that was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn’t. K knows I am a very simple girl, and I don’t need some huge diamond in a platinum setting. I don’t even want a diamond; I really want a white sapphire! (even less expensive!)
Here’s where my question comes in: Should I talk to him and just say that if money is such an issue, I don’t need a ring? I don’t even want a real wedding…I just want to get married by a JOP at a beatiful location. I’ve even said, “Let’s go to town hall this weekend, and just do it!” For me, it’s about becoming his wife and him becoming my husband, forever. All the other stuff is nice, but I don’t need it. Will that backfire though? Is it letting him off the hook from doing something that he as the man should be doing? I know he’s somewhat traditional but he doesn’t really express how he feels. I just don’t know what to do.
By the way… I used to bring up engagement alot more than I do now, partially because of Mr. Bee’s Back Up plan, but I still want to know, if K really wants to marry me like he says he does, what he is waiting for!