Post # 1
Hi ladies, I need some support! I just got off the phone with my dad who told me for the FIRST time that our jeweler decided to make the earrings I asked them to replicate 25% smaller than the costume ones I gave them. I’m so upset! Why did no one ask me first? I loved the costume ones and would have GLADLY worn them but my dad really wanted to make them with real pearls and either real diamonds or CZ’s (depending on cost) instead of totally fake. He said they are custom making them so we can’t take them back. It’s been over a month since they made the molds or whatever it is they do. I’m so mad! What part of "exactly" like the costume ones didn’t they understand? They thought they would look better smaller. But they are the only thing I’m wearing because I can’t wear a necklace with my neckline, and I really wanted them to pop!
I feel this crazy frustrated/whiny feeling inside of me that I can’t control! Am I turning into a bridezilla? Normally I’d be like, oh well. But the thought of HAVING to wear earrings I don’t like makes me so upset!! I’m SO mad no one asked me first!! And on top of that I feel guilty for being so upset with my dad on the phone, he is doing this for me and it’s so sweet of him and I think he felt really bad when he found out I was upset they were going to be smaller. He said he just believed her when he said they’d look better smaller, especially because they were going to be even less expensive. But I can’t help but be upset! Please make me feel better 🙁
PS I’m attaching a pic.. I’m not wearing the broach in the pic, but the earrings are what they were going to look like…now who knows! And btw, the wedding is vintage-inspired, if you’re wondering. I’m going to go pull out my hair now…. [attachment=181106,13389]
Post # 3
wow that is really pretty. Vent girl. Let it out. I don’t know if you are being bridezilla, but I can see why you woud be frustrated with them. Good luck.
Post # 4
Since you have plenty of time between now and your wedding, is there any chance that they can start over once you tell them that you’re not happy?
I don’t think this is necessarily a bridezilla thing. If this was a situation where a wedding wasn’t involved, no one would accuse you of being unreasonable for saying "I asked for something specific, and what I asked for is NOT what I got." You have a right to speak up and demand that they give you the product you ordered. After all, it’s your opinion that matters, not theirs.
If they can’t change it, I wouldn’t stress about it too much. They might still be beautiful even if they are a bit smaller. Right now we’re approaching our wedding date and honestly I’ve found it’s easier not to sweat every little detail, because you’ll just end up driving yourself crazy. Not everything is going to be perfect, even though you want it to be. I am the biggest control freak/perfectionist, and I’ve just had to let go and make peace with the things that didn’t quite go my way.
Post # 5
i agree with amandopolis. don’t sweat it. they probably will look beautiful (let me tell you the story of my invites), and at the end of the day – they are earrings. just wear the pair you originally loved if you absolutely hate the way the customs come out.
Post # 6
First, I feel your frustration. I’m super picky, detail-oriented, and something like that, especially my *wedding* jewelry would make me bonkers. And if other people around me were unable to see why it was such a big deal it would make me even more upset.
But I’m not sure what can be done. Do you think you could offer to pay the difference to break them and make them bigger? It should pretty much only be the extra labor/time cost, so not nothing but also not the entire cost of the earrings. Setting jewelry like that isn’t that hard, so even if it did happen a month ago it’s not like it would take another month to redo them. I’m sure they will look good no matter what…but maybe there’s still a chance to get what you originally wanted.
Post # 7
Ooph, I would be mad, too…
As a side note, it really bugs me when some behaviors are labeled "bridezilla moments" when, if the person of interest were NOT a bride, it would be normal and justified. I mean, what is so wrong about being irritated or upset when an order or service (cake, flowers, or your jewelry there) that you PAID for doesn’t come out as you had requested?
But who knows, maybe the earrings will turn out great even though they’re smaller. They’re beautiful, by the way. Anyway, like i said, I think it’s okay to be miffed. But don’t get too outrageously upset about it… and at least wait to see them in person and with your dress. Plus, fizicsGirl might have a point with them being able to rework the earrings.
Good luck, and breathe! 🙂
Post # 8
That stinks that you can’t return them. I’m sorry. 🙁
Post # 9
Well that’s kind of crappy. BUT if you are really set on the look of the costume earrings, maybe you could wear them to the wedding and wear the customized earrings from your dad for the rehearsal dinner and keep them as a keepsake. If they are substantially smaller you could have them be your go-to earrings on special occasions.
Post # 10
Eek! I’d be super pissed if nobody checked with ME first, either! Esp since they are FOR me! I’m so picky about my jewelry, it’s not even funny, so I totally hear you.
Are they so small that they lose their oomph? Maybe they will still look good, just more delicate and now you can wear a necklace? If not, I think they came become more of an everyday staple in your wardrobe. You will possibly get to wear them more often now that they are smaller instead of "big" occassions because they are bigger.
I don’t get why they can’t fix it though. Perhaps they can add another row of small CZ’s on the outside to give them a little more flash? They can’t just make them and expect the customer to be unhappy. That crap about the mold not being able to be fixed is probably an old jewelers trick in that, "i don’t WANT to fix this, so i’ll tell them I CAN’T".
Look at it this way. If YOU were paying for them and you didn’t like them, you wouldn’t pay for it, right? So call the place up and tell them that you are unsatisfied and that even though your father is paying you’d like it fixed or you will not be happy wtih them. Have you already paid them? Because nobody says you have to buy something they didn’t make right. Ugh, good luck! i wish i had better advice. Those are insanely gorgeous earrings though.
Post # 11
You have every reason to be upset. As for your dad you should just let him know that he should have ran it past you first so that you could ok the changes- and maybe explain to him why you wanted the earrings the way that you did, plus you can wear the real earrings for maybe the rehearsal dinner and the fake ones during the wedding ceremony.
I wonder though how much smaller the earrings will be? We are dealing with pearls so unless they are teensy-weenzy you may end up liking them even more.
Look at the bright side- this is something you can wear to work now even if they aren’t the ones you will wear at the wedding
Post # 12
I would be pissed also. However, wait until you see them. You don’t mention what the actual size is, is 25% smaller a couple of millimeters or a whole centimeter smaller? If it’s just a couple of millimeters it may not look that different.
Also- you can always wear the costume ones (will your dad really be able to tell?) and have the real ones to pass on in your family.
Post # 13
Ican understand how you feel. I would probably feel the same way. You had it all planned. You were fine with the fakies. So how did this possible get away from you, where you’re not wearing the exact earrings you want, and already have??????
Try to think of it this way. It sounds like dad is being extremely sweet. How many guys think to do this? Most women have a problem with men being so sentimental. (Gratned he’s your dad not you husband.) But still, you’re daddy’s girl. I think when you look back on your wedding day and look at those pictures, you won’t think about the fact that they are a little smaller than you hoped. I think that you will see a family heirloom that was made for you by your father. (And maybe if the earrings were the same size as the ones you have, they would have been too expensive for him to buy.)Years from now, when your father is no longer with you, I think you will be immensely happy to have those to hold on to, rather than your fake earrings that were just the perfect size.
I think the fake earrings will make you happy for the wedding day. I think your dad’s earrings will make you happy for your lifetime.
(And if that doesn’t work, maybe you can wear your dad’s earrings for the ceremony, and change them out for pictures or reception etc.)
Post # 14
If the jeweler decided to do this on their own – you’ve got the right to be upset. If they decided this because your Dad told them X was the budget and the 25% reduction was the way to keep it under – you’ve got a little less ground to stand on. Also, keep in mind, they might have talked to your dad and he approved it. Be mindful of what you say to him just in case.
Post # 15
First, thanks SO much for all of the support, everyone. It means a lot to me to be understood! So, I talked to my dad this morning, who apparently felt so bad he called the jeweler first thing this morning. She is going to see where they are in the process, get me a picture of the one being made next to the costume one, and see what can be done. However, my dad told me he ended up going with real diamonds because he really wanted them to be real and last a lifetime for me and possibly pass on to my daughter one day, but if we go up in size to match the costume one, it would be way too expensive and we’d have to go with CZs. I was so touched that he is making them with real diamonds, and putting all this work into it, that I feel better already. He also said that to compare them, if the other ones were the size of quarters, these are maybe nickel size. I was thinking they’d be more like dime-sized. I’m ok with nickel size, as that’s plenty big. He also said that when the jeweler put them on (one costume and one of the mold of the real) he said that the smaller ones did look better, so he trusted her judgment and didn’t think to tell me about it. I think he wanted to talk as little about them as possible since he was making them with real pearl and diamonds, so that’s why he didn’t mention the size change to me earlier.
Anyway, I really like what all of you said, especially you, Tanya123. You’re right, even if the fake ones are more the size I have been imagining, having the real ones that were made just for me and given to me by my dad is really worth a lot more than having them be the "perfect" size. And now they will last a lifetime. Thanks for helping me realize that!
I feel a lot better now and I feel bad for being so upset but I think it was justified. Anyway, thanks again! Oh, and a lot of you said how pretty the earrings are, I ordered them from White Aisle for like $30 or something like that. They looked really pretty in person, too, so I recommend their stuff.
Post # 16
I’d be miffed, but on a side note, no one will know what to compare them to, so they wont, and I think they are lovely!