(Closed) am i having a bridezilla moment or do i have the right to be upset?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

wow that is really pretty. Vent girl. Let it out. I don’t know if you are being bridezilla, but I can see why you woud be frustrated with them. Good luck.

Post # 4
773 posts
Busy bee

Since you have plenty of time between now and your wedding, is there any chance that they can start over once you tell them that you’re not happy?


I don’t think this is necessarily a bridezilla thing.  If this was a situation where a wedding wasn’t involved, no one would accuse you of being unreasonable for saying "I asked for something specific, and what I asked for is NOT what I got."  You have a right to speak up and demand that they give you the product you ordered.  After all, it’s your opinion that matters, not theirs.  


If they can’t change it, I wouldn’t stress about it too much.  They might still be beautiful even if they are a bit smaller.  Right now we’re approaching our wedding date and honestly I’ve found it’s easier not to sweat every little detail, because you’ll just end up driving yourself crazy.  Not everything is going to be perfect, even though you want it to be.  I am the biggest control freak/perfectionist, and I’ve just had to let go and make peace with the things that didn’t quite go my way.   


Post # 5
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

i agree with amandopolis.  don’t sweat it.  they probably will look beautiful (let me tell you the story of my invites), and at the end of the day – they are earrings.  just wear the pair you originally loved if you absolutely hate the way the customs come out.


Post # 6
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

First, I feel your frustration.  I’m super picky, detail-oriented, and something like that, especially my *wedding* jewelry would make me bonkers.  And if other people around me were unable to see why it was such a big deal it would make me even more upset.

But I’m not sure what can be done.  Do you think you could offer to pay the difference to break them and make them bigger?  It should pretty much only be the extra labor/time cost, so not nothing but also not the entire cost of the earrings.  Setting jewelry like that isn’t that hard, so even if it did happen a month ago it’s not like it would take another month to redo them.  I’m sure they will look good no matter what…but maybe there’s still a chance to get what you originally wanted.

Post # 7
65 posts
Worker bee

Ooph, I would be mad, too…

As a side note, it really bugs me when some behaviors are labeled "bridezilla moments" when, if the person of interest were NOT a bride, it would be normal and justified. I mean, what is so wrong about being irritated or upset when an order or service (cake, flowers, or your jewelry there) that you PAID for doesn’t come out as you had requested?

But who knows, maybe the earrings will turn out great even though they’re smaller. They’re beautiful, by the way. Anyway, like i said, I think it’s okay to be miffed. But don’t get too outrageously upset about it… and at least wait to see them in person and with your dress. Plus, fizicsGirl might have a point with them being able to rework the earrings. 

Good luck, and breathe! 🙂

Post # 8
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That stinks that you can’t return them. I’m sorry. 🙁


Post # 9
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well that’s kind of crappy. BUT if you are really set on the look of the costume earrings, maybe you could wear them to the wedding and wear the customized earrings from your dad for the rehearsal dinner and keep them as a keepsake. If they are substantially smaller you could have them be your go-to earrings on special occasions.

Post # 10
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Eek! I’d be super pissed if nobody checked with ME first, either! Esp since they are FOR me! I’m so picky about my jewelry, it’s not even funny, so I totally hear you.

Are they so small that they lose their oomph? Maybe they will still look good, just more delicate and now you can wear a necklace? If not, I think they came become more of an everyday staple in your wardrobe. You will possibly get to wear them more often now that they are smaller instead of "big" occassions because they are bigger. 

I don’t get why they can’t fix it though. Perhaps they can add another row of small CZ’s on the outside to give them a little more flash? They can’t just make them and expect the customer to be unhappy. That crap about the mold not being able to be fixed is probably an old jewelers trick in that, "i don’t WANT to fix this, so i’ll tell them I CAN’T". 

Look at it this way. If YOU were paying for them and you didn’t like them, you wouldn’t pay for it, right?  So call the place up and tell them that you are unsatisfied and that even though your father is paying you’d like it fixed or you will not be happy wtih them. Have you already paid them? Because nobody says you have to buy something they didn’t make right. Ugh, good luck! i wish i had better advice. Those are insanely gorgeous earrings though. 

Post # 11
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

You have every reason to be upset. As for your dad you should just let him know that he should have ran it past you first so that you could ok the changes- and maybe explain to him why you wanted the earrings the way that you did, plus you can wear the real earrings for maybe the rehearsal dinner and the fake ones during the wedding ceremony.

I wonder though how much smaller the earrings will be? We are dealing with pearls so unless they are teensy-weenzy you may end up liking them even more.

Look at the bright side- this is something you can wear to work now even if they aren’t the ones you will wear at the wedding

Post # 12
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would be pissed also.  However, wait until you see them.  You don’t mention what the actual size is, is 25% smaller a couple of millimeters or a whole centimeter smaller?  If it’s just a couple of millimeters it may not look that different.

Also- you can always wear the costume ones (will your dad really be able to tell?) and have the real ones to pass on in your family.

Post # 13
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 Ican understand how you feel.  I would probably feel the same way.  You had it all planned.  You were fine with the fakies.  So how did this possible get away from you, where you’re not wearing the exact earrings you want, and already have??????

Try to think of it this way.  It sounds like dad is being extremely sweet.  How many guys think to do this?  Most women have a problem with men being so sentimental. (Gratned he’s your dad not you husband.)  But still, you’re daddy’s girl.  I think when you look back on your wedding day and look at those pictures, you won’t think about the fact that they are a little smaller than you hoped.  I think that you will see a family heirloom that was made for you by your father.  (And maybe if the earrings were the same size as the ones you have, they would have been too expensive for him to buy.)Years from now, when your father is no longer with you, I think you will be immensely happy to have those to hold on to, rather than your fake earrings that were just the perfect size. 

I think the fake earrings will make you happy for the wedding day.  I think your dad’s earrings will make you happy for your lifetime. 

(And if that doesn’t work, maybe you can wear your dad’s earrings for the ceremony, and change them out for pictures or reception etc.)

Post # 14
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

If the jeweler decided to do this on their own – you’ve got the right to be upset.  If they decided this because your Dad told them X was the budget and the 25% reduction was the way to keep it under – you’ve got a little less ground to stand on.  Also, keep in mind, they might have talked to your dad and he approved it.  Be mindful of what you say to him just in case.

Post # 16
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’d be miffed, but on a side note, no one will know what to compare them to, so they wont, and I think they are lovely!


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