(Closed) Am I having an outrageous wedding??

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 2
2500 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

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DanielleI:  if your budget allows, then go for it! Though comments like those from your co workers are why one shouldn’t talk about these things IMO. It’s none of their business how much you spend (they’ll think it’s too much/ not enough/ could be better spent elsewhere …) Unless you are really close…

Post # 3
17 posts
  • Wedding: April 2015

Looks good to me… The photography is pretty spot on price from what Ive seen. The venue/food/alcohol is right on as well, but also depends onthe venue. I found cheaper/free venues have little to no character. You got to pay for that character. The flowers…. seem just a touch pricey, but then again, dont know what kind you are getting and everything. My wedding at the moment is about 2k for the photographer, 3 k for venue, 1.5 k for catering, 1 k for alcohol and bartending (so if packaged like yours, would be 5.5 k, but I live in the midwest, not New York), and $350 for flowers, which includes centerpiece, archeway, bouquets, decor, etc. ( I went silk instead of real, and bought it all on sale). I was quoted about 1k for the flowers were they real. 

Post # 4
7991 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

overall, i spent more than you.

i only spent $600 on flowers, but our photographer was $4000 (including the leather bound wedding album with 160 pictures)

a woman i work (in her 50’s) is getting married and she complained to me that $400 was ridiculous to pay a DJ.  then she was upset that he wanted $100 more to play music during the ceremony and cocktail hour.  she’s like what is he doing for that money, i could just play my ipod.  i told her if she would rather play her ipod, she should.  then i told her my DJ was $1200, she was shocked.



Post # 5
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

If you’re budget allows for it, then go for it.

They may be used to a different style of wedding – but I’m pretty sure there are some southerners who have had massive blow-out parties!

Post # 6
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

This is why I haven’t discussed our budget with anyone outside of my parents and my Fiance. Nobody else in my life knows how much I’ve spent on anything. We’re spending a lot of money and it will be worth it but nobody needs to know! When people ask I deflect or say “we spent what we were comfortable with” and end it at that. Nobody is rude enough to keep pushing after that.

Post # 7
5545 posts
Bee Keeper

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DanielleI:  This is why I ahven’t shared our budget with anyone bar my closest friends; no-one else knows what it’s costing, because I know that if they did, we would constantly be hearing how we can do x y z for cheaper, how they wouldn’t spend that much, yada yada yada, and honestly, I don’t care what they would/wouldn’t spend, because this isn’t their wedding lol.

So, if someone is rude enough to ask what you’re spending, don’t answer, or give a vague reply eg if someone asks who I know will judge, I say something like ‘What we’re comfortable with’ and leave it at that.

Post # 8
2683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If that’s what you want and you can afford it, awesome! Go for it. I’m a little confused as to why you’re talking about wedding costs with other people though. It’s a bit gauche and really none of their business. Plus, when you talk about such things, as you can see, you end up hearing opinions you don’t necessarily want. 

Do your thing and don’t let it bother you. But rethink what wedding topics you discuss with acquaintences. Especially coworkers.

Post # 9
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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DanielleI:  Everything you’ve mentioned sounds more than reasonable. I would refrain from talking about your prices at work in the future, though. Some people might find these prices exbortitant because they have different financial constraints than you.

Post # 10
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If your budget allows, there’s nothing wrong with spending what you want to on your wedding! This is the reason why I haven’t discussed our budget with anyone but close friends/family, though.

I think your flowers cost is a lot, but that depends on what and how much you’re getting. Our photographer is $1500, but our venue + food is going to be $12k. Alcohol will be another $2k, I’m sure. 

Post # 11
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

That doesn’t seem outrageous to me at all! They seem like totally normal prices and it’s less than what we’re spending and I don’t think our wedding is outrageous at all aha 😉 If they’re older then it could be that they’re comparing your prices to what they paid decades ago. Or they might just prioritize their money differently – depending on their financial situation, those prices may seem extremely high/unimaginable for just one day. Maybe they really just don’t know how much wedding stuff costs? I would just try to change the subject if they bring up the wedding. It’s not really any of their business how much stuff costs and it’s not polite to bring up costs to them either (:

Post # 12
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sounds about right! We spent about the same for ours. The only thing people said was ‘over the top’ for our wedding was the floral centerpieces. Even so, 1/5 of the tables had BMs bouquets in a nice vase as their centerpiece!

Post # 13
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Your budget sounds quite reasonable to me, depending on the number of guests you’re having.

I also agree with prior posters that you may not want to discuss costs with coworkers, since people will tend to view your financial matters based on their own situations and experiences.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Brielle.
Post # 14
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

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DanielleI:  Agreed with everyone. Have the wedding you’re comfortable with. But, coming from the general geographic area, locals commenting may come from a place of genuine surprise that those prices exist rather than judgement. And where I’m from in the South, it would never occur to anyone to talk about prices, especially at work. It would seen as about as appropriate as belching at the opera.

For the record, church receptions aren’t thought of as ‘fancy’. That’s a bit reductive. They’re just part of weddings. If it’s what you’re used to, it’s generally what you’re sincerely happiest with— similar to your background leading you to be comfortable with what you’re used to. It’s a little bit of a culture clash, perhaps, but be careful your sensitivities toward percieved judgement don’t turn into being overly patronising to the locals. I’m sure us simple yokels can handle a ‘big city’ wedding.

Post # 15
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It’s all relative to location and wedding size.  Yours doesn’t sound outrageous to me.  Our venue is $4k for JUST THE VENUE…no food or rentals included.  Food is another $3k, flowers are $2k, and our photographer is $3250!  For Charleston, these are really pretty darn good prices.  We are paying for it ourselves.  In reality, the majority of weddings are outrageous…I mean, think about it.  An event…one day, that you spend $25k on!?  That’s just absurd. But it’s your wedding.  And it happens (hopefully) once in your life and it’s a huge day.  So it’s worth it.

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