am I in relationship ?

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
6167 posts
Bee Keeper

From what you’ve described it sounds as if he’s just happy to enjoy your company when it’s convenient and on his terms, nothing more. Only he can tell you if that’s not the case. You’re going to have to have a conversation with him. 

Post # 3
Member
6675 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

catchme :  “Many people told me that i should approach him and asked what he wants. Yes I wanted to, I did once but I got negative response.”

So it sounds like you did ask him and he said no. I’m sorry Bee, but from what you’re describing it sounds like he just enjoys spending time with you when you’re around but isn’t actually looking for anything official out of this. This is not a relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

It sounds like he really enjoys your company. I think this is something that you would have to ask him. I don’t think we could answer that question. It sounds like you two have a great connection though.

Post # 5
Member
5004 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If you are 33 surely you realise there is only one person who can clarify if you are in a relationship or not?

Post # 6
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Like the pps have said, its best to go straight to the horses mouth.  

Word of advice tho…..if you have confusion its most like NOT what you wish it to be.  Serious guys tend to be clear about their intentions.  In either case, its always best to get clarity.

 

Post # 7
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

It doesn’t sound like you are in a relationship to me. It sounds like you have a wonderful time together, and enjoy each other’s company. Even with that, I’d suggest people are reluctant to restructure their entire lives/logistics of Stateside living might be too much for him to want a relationship. 

If you want a relationship, ask him again, and be ready for the rejection that might follow.

Post # 8
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t even ask him if you’re in a relationship or not, he sounds like a charmer and it would be too easy for him to answer a glib ‘yes of course babe’ and not take it anywhere as seriously as what you’d read into it.

When you went back to the US and he was in Spain, did he make any plans to come visit you? 

What concerns me most is that you’re willing to extend job stays and uproot countries for someone whom you’re not even sure you can call a boyfriend. 

Post # 9
Member
790 posts
Busy bee

You are not in a relationship now. Unless someone specifically asks for a relationship, you are not in one. If you are strong enough to be traveling and uprooting yourself in different countries, you are strong enough to ask him again. 

Post # 10
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

If you have to ask if you’re in a relationship, you’re likely not – if it hasn’t been defined, I would not consider it to be a relationship. As other bees stated, it sounds like he enjoys your company but I wouldn’t think anything more of it than that. It sounds more like a fwb arrangement to me. 

Post # 12
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

Bee I would just tell ask him if this is still just fun for now or if he sees it going somewhere serious.  Then you’ll know.   

Post # 14
Member
5004 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Why would you make international trips to see someone who can’t even commit to being exclusive with you? Never mind travelling to spend Christmas with him!

Of course you need to ask him what’s going on!

Post # 15
Member
3002 posts
Sugar bee

catchme :  i feel like he was pretty upfront and honest about his intentions

he isnt looking for anything serious.

You can still enjoy someones company, miss them, love spending time with them, do all the very relationship things – but there is no commitment. 

He probably enjoys having freedom and doesnt want to tie himself down or get married. You two seem close and there is no harm in asking him what his future looks like for himself or what his relationship goals are, but it sounds like you two are just very close friends with benefits. 

That is up to you if you want to continue this friendship knowing that it probably wont go where you want it to.

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