- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
Hello fellow bees!
I am a lurker on here mostly but need your advice on something.
So I was asked to be maid of honor for my cousin for her wedding which occured this last August. She called me up, asked me to stand up for her and asked her two sister in law’s to be in her wedding. One of them had to drop out due to her being pregnant, so she asked her 3rd sister in law to be in her wedding then, when she wasn’t before.
So about 8 months out from her wedding when people declining no to her wedding because she put on the website Adults Only Reception AND only directed the cards to the adults after he saying millions of times she doesn’t want kids at the wedding, she calls people to ask them why they aren’t coming and throws me under the bus saying “L said something didn’t she”, which my relatives automatically phone me about to tell me that my dear sweet friend has done this. I never said anything to anyone about her wedding being adults only, it was in plain site ON THE WEBSITE AND INVITES.
Next day I get an email from her saying that her sis in law, the one who wasn’t even in the wedding to begin with is now taking care of things and is now co-maid of honor and pretty much to back off and let the sis in law handle it and conviently, the adults only is deleted off of the website. I’m PISSED to say the least and the hubby thought I should drop out then but nope, I stayed in.
So months go by and she’s planning, losing it on vendors and losing her shit but I don’t say anything and the wedding weekend comes and it’s an out of town wedding so we head on out. Flash forward to rehearsal dinner, I have now been booted to not maid of honor and standing next to her but beside since we are co-maids now. Not a big deal, annoyed she didn’t tell me but yeah. We go to do the walk down and do the rehearsal walk and her other sis in law places herself infront of me(so I’m at the very end now) and Bride sees this with her own eyes, does not say ONE WORD. No excuse. So I’m like whatever, it’s her day I’m a little annoyed but it is what it is. I thought, hey maybe things will be different the next day.
Next day, I have now been booted from holding the rings, signing the certificate and standing next to her, she says NOTHING and ignores me pretty much while getting ready, speaking to her other SIL. I don’t expect her to solely talk to me, it’s her wedding day but to blantly ignore me? Like WTF. Everyone asks who the maid of honor is and she tells them the sis in law does not speak up for me once. Vendors all refer to her SIL as Maid/Matron of Honor now as well. I was pretty hurt but don’t say anything because I am not going to ruin someone’s day and make it all about me. So the night goes on, I put on my fakest smile that I can and just have drinks, give my speech which I almost didn’t give since technically I wasn’t a maid of honor.
Do I have a right to be mad? Pretty much I was upset because she asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor and then threw me under the bus during invites and then didn’t even tell me I wasn’t doing stuff anymore in the wedding and I found out the day of. I’m not married yet (in a commited relationship of 8 years) and I know that weddings are a stressful time but I would never ever not stand up for my friends, wedding day or not. Honestly, It would of been less embaressing if she would of just booted me from the wedding rather than asking me to stand up for her and then me finding out the weekend of that I was booted from the duties. Am I in the wrong here? Consesus is I am not but I would like outsider’s opinions.