(Closed) Am I in the wrong here? *confused*

posted 5 years ago in Venue
Post # 3
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m a bit confused about why you are worried about a “virtual frienship”??? I wouldn’t have given this question a second thought. Keep your venue and move on with your “real” life.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@StevieJo:  Sounds like your friend has gone off the deep end. Is it possible that she’s jealous that she’s not getting married? If she’s really going to shut you out of her life over this I think you’re better off not dealing with the drama. 

Post # 7
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@StevieJo:  I would drop the friendship. Sounds like jealousy and you don’t have time for the drama. It won’t be easy but how much of a friend are they to you if they are trying to start a fight over a venue for their make-believe wedding?

Post # 8
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

@StevieJo:  Will this virtual friend be attending the wedding? Just curious. Well, given she deleted you on Facebook, maybe not now. As you mentioned, she doesn’t have mutual friends so no concern there. Also, no one owns a venue, so I don’t think you are in the wrong.

Post # 9
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@lindseyl06:  “virtual” friendships are just as strong as real ones. My maid of honor is a woman I met on a video game. We are intense, devoted friends and I have not met her. In fact, I will not meet her until the day of my wedding. Do not assess what is real to someone else just because it isn’t real to you. That cheapens online friendships and especially people who have fallen in love online.

OP: I think your friend is being very short sighted. I would keep the venue, and if you have it in you, I’d try to talk to her. Maybe bring up that it could be a good story for future children. (“Mommy and auntie {friend’s name} got married in the same place!”)

I know weddings are personal to people, and every bride wants to be unique, so I think that’s what is happening here.

I’m sorry your friend is being so childish.

Post # 10
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Hyperventilate:  I’m sorry I am not into this virtual world. I do not like FB and I’m only on this site for wedding-related assistance. I did not mean to offend but I am the type to not get close to people. I only have one friend other than family members. That’s just me. Honestly though, you never know who that person is on the other end of your computer and as far as her (OP) friend, I just proved my point. That show Catfish really proves my point IMO.

I do understand she had an 11 year friendship with this virtual friend. That’s why I stated later that it may not be easy but she needs to see this friend for what they really are… NOT a friend.

Post # 12
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ll second the PPs that some online friendships can be just as valuable as “real life” friendships.

OP – I think your friend is over-reacting, a “dream” location shared yrs ago (do either of you still have those emails/messages?) esp if they aren’t engaged/in a relationship. There is probably more to it (like jealousy her own unhappiness) at play here.

Post # 13
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

@StevieJo:  Do you have an email address, phone number or physical address you can contact her through? Then you could try to reason with her a little and try to reconcile the relationship (not that you did anything wrong).

Post # 14
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

Regardless of whether she is a virtual friend, or a flesh and blood friend, she doesn’t own that venue, and you or anyone else is free to use it.  This is particularly true given that she’s not even engaged or planning a wedding (beyond the whole crazy business of planning a hypothetical wedding).

Do what you want.  Leave her alone.  Let her reach out to you to make ammends because you’ve done nothing wrong or offensive.

 

Post # 16
Member
1357 posts
Bumble bee

You’re not wrong. That’s ridiculous! I guess the mutual friend thing is defining. It would only be weird if you had many people going to both weddings. If you want to keep the friendship, just send her an e-mail explaining that you forgot, that you and your Fiance love the venue, that it doesn’t matter if you have the same… She’s probably just jealous, but it sounds like she was (is?) important for you even if she’s a virtual friend.

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