(Closed) Am I in the wrong???

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It’s not unreasonable that you’ve asked them to have their dresses by now, but thankfully you still have a good amount of time. They most likely won’t need to get them altered because they can buy off the rack. Just breathe.

Post # 4
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I see your point BUT… finding a black dress in 26 days… really isn’t a big deal.


Post # 5
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ok…No you are not being unreasonable. I would definitely talk in person to the sister that blew up since there is something else going on there.Perhaps she does not have the money now. TJ Max and Ross are great options if all you are looking for is an inexpensive black dress.

If it makes you feel better, we finally decided on a dress for the flower girl at the rehearsal dinner. 🙂

Post # 6
1231 posts
Bumble bee

I understand your asking. I know that I need months to find a dress because I am picky. If your sister isn’t picky and won’t mind being stuck with a dress she may not like because she is waiting, well that’s her problem. MrsMcGyro is right, just breathe! 🙂

Post # 7
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think this boils down to the simple philosophy that people don’t like being told what to do. I don’t think its unreasonable for you to ask your girls where they are at in the process, especially considering if they have gone the traditional Bridesmaid or Best Man dress route, they would have had to order months ago. That being said, I think you are slightly overreacting in getting so upset that they haven’t purchased their dress yet. Your girls still have 6 weeks to purchase their off the rack, black dresses. If they don’t do that, they aren’t in the wedding. Why stress yourself out over this issue? Say for example you had a christmas party to go to. Would you shop for a dress 2 months in advance? I probably wouldn’t. Your girls still have plenty of time, so you are making it harder on yourself and harder on them by pushing the issue. If you wanted them purchased by a certain date, you probably should have specified that. I think your girls have valid reasons for delaying the purchase, such as trying to lose weight and financial issues. I would maybe send them all an email saying you’d like the dresses to be purchased a month in advance so you can see them all together in their outfits before the big day. That gives them plenty of time. And you should drop it until then because its causing you unnecessary stress to worry about this. They are big girls, so you should trust that they will do what they’ve promised you that they will do. 

Post # 8
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

You’re not being unreasonable, but it sucks when you have planning on the brain and want things to go accordingly and your plans begin to fall into other people’s hands and you have to rely on them to get things done. We let our groomsmen pick out their own suits, and I was still patiently waiting for half of them to buy suits a week before the wedding. Like @MrsMcGyro saidm you shouldn’t have to worry about alterations if they are buying off the rack. 

I understand where you’re coming from though! I don’t think your sister should have flipped out on you 🙁 

Post # 9
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you’re in the wrong. I think that they perhaps thought that they had longer to get their dresses, but they should at least have an idea of a dress or some that they have researched online and could purchase before your wedding date. I don’t think you’re in the wrong.

Post # 10
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You’re not being unreasonable.  Black dresses may be easy to find, but there is no point in waiting until the last minute either.  Sorry they reacted like that to you.  Try and shake it off.  They are the ones that may get stuck with a mediocre dress while you will look stunning.  Smile

Post # 11
79 posts
Worker bee

@Crisark: You’re totally not being out of line by checking! I don’t think you should be upset that they haven’t gotten them yet with a month and a half to go, but it’s reasonable to be upset at your sister’s reaction. Do you have a black dress you could lend to the one without money, do you have time to go shopping with your sister and help her find something? I had to pick a dress for a wedding in may and literally could not find anything until TWO WEEKS before the wedding, I finally found one dress I didn’t hate.

Post # 14
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think you are over-reacting.  Even if you are letting them pick out a dress, they still shouldn’t wait until the last mintue to get it done.

And I don’t know what the PPs who are saying that your girls won’t need any alterations since the dresses are off the rack are talking about.  I quite requently have to get off-the-rack dresses altered to fit right and be the right length.

Post # 16
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

What about the prospect of your sister without a dress borrowing one?

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