Post # 1
So, I apologize ahead of time if this gets long….
When we decided to move the wedding up to this November I made the decision that I would let my girls just pick their own dresses out as long as they were black.
Well it’s now 46days til the wedding and only ONE out of my FIVE ladies have gotten their dresses. I’ve tried asking here and there about the progress of that for each and I was told that one is having her mother make hers as she is pregnant and not sure how big she will be. Not a problem at all.
Well, the other three are a little more touchy. Reason being 2 of them are my sisters. Both my sisters had said they were trying to lose some weight and that they’d get one closer to. Now, today I made mention of it to each and my one sister was receptive and said she’d probably be able to get one next week once her husband gets paid. My other sister lost her ever loving mind on me and said that I was being unreasonable. And why did it matter when they had them as long as they had them by that day. And, that, if I had wanted to dictate a timeline then I should have picked out the dresses and explained that ahead of time.
The other is also a family member and they are not doing well with money. I am almost positive we will end up paying for that dress. She has yet to even respond to my inquiry from this morning as it is.
So, since my one sister flipped out I have lost it at work and been a crying mess of a bride and am being continuely told that I don’t understand how I come across and this that and the other.
My message to them was simply: So, where is everyone at on the buying of their dresses?” literally that was my text.
Was/Am I in the wrong to have expected the dresses be purchased by now. Am I wrong for having an opinion in the matter since I did leave the dress choice to them?
I am hurt and didn’t/don’t think I did anything wrong. I don’t feel that it’s wrong of me to be upset that they haven’t gotten them yet.
I need some opinions please. Thanks!
Post # 3
It’s not unreasonable that you’ve asked them to have their dresses by now, but thankfully you still have a good amount of time. They most likely won’t need to get them altered because they can buy off the rack. Just breathe.
Post # 4
I see your point BUT… finding a black dress in 26 days… really isn’t a big deal.
Post # 5
Ok…No you are not being unreasonable. I would definitely talk in person to the sister that blew up since there is something else going on there.Perhaps she does not have the money now. TJ Max and Ross are great options if all you are looking for is an inexpensive black dress.
If it makes you feel better, we finally decided on a dress for the flower girl at the rehearsal dinner. 🙂
Post # 6
I understand your asking. I know that I need months to find a dress because I am picky. If your sister isn’t picky and won’t mind being stuck with a dress she may not like because she is waiting, well that’s her problem. MrsMcGyro is right, just breathe! 🙂
Post # 7
I think this boils down to the simple philosophy that people don’t like being told what to do. I don’t think its unreasonable for you to ask your girls where they are at in the process, especially considering if they have gone the traditional Bridesmaid or Best Man dress route, they would have had to order months ago. That being said, I think you are slightly overreacting in getting so upset that they haven’t purchased their dress yet. Your girls still have 6 weeks to purchase their off the rack, black dresses. If they don’t do that, they aren’t in the wedding. Why stress yourself out over this issue? Say for example you had a christmas party to go to. Would you shop for a dress 2 months in advance? I probably wouldn’t. Your girls still have plenty of time, so you are making it harder on yourself and harder on them by pushing the issue. If you wanted them purchased by a certain date, you probably should have specified that. I think your girls have valid reasons for delaying the purchase, such as trying to lose weight and financial issues. I would maybe send them all an email saying you’d like the dresses to be purchased a month in advance so you can see them all together in their outfits before the big day. That gives them plenty of time. And you should drop it until then because its causing you unnecessary stress to worry about this. They are big girls, so you should trust that they will do what they’ve promised you that they will do.
Post # 8
You’re not being unreasonable, but it sucks when you have planning on the brain and want things to go accordingly and your plans begin to fall into other people’s hands and you have to rely on them to get things done. We let our groomsmen pick out their own suits, and I was still patiently waiting for half of them to buy suits a week before the wedding. Like @MrsMcGyro saidm you shouldn’t have to worry about alterations if they are buying off the rack.
I understand where you’re coming from though! I don’t think your sister should have flipped out on you 🙁
Post # 9
I don’t think you’re in the wrong. I think that they perhaps thought that they had longer to get their dresses, but they should at least have an idea of a dress or some that they have researched online and could purchase before your wedding date. I don’t think you’re in the wrong.
Post # 10
You’re not being unreasonable. Black dresses may be easy to find, but there is no point in waiting until the last minute either. Sorry they reacted like that to you. Try and shake it off. They are the ones that may get stuck with a mediocre dress while you will look stunning.
Post # 11
@Crisark: You’re totally not being out of line by checking! I don’t think you should be upset that they haven’t gotten them yet with a month and a half to go, but it’s reasonable to be upset at your sister’s reaction. Do you have a black dress you could lend to the one without money, do you have time to go shopping with your sister and help her find something? I had to pick a dress for a wedding in may and literally could not find anything until TWO WEEKS before the wedding, I finally found one dress I didn’t hate.
Post # 12
Thank you. All of you.
I will agree that it probably boils down to the fact that I’m in turbo planning/finalizing mod and them not having the dresses makes my head want to explode.
Both my sisters are saying now that it’s a money issue. I don’t not understand that but they’ve had 6 months so to me it should have been done but I suppose I should have specified a date.
Idk. I’m feeling pretty crappy that my sister decided I was the worlds biggest bridezilla by being alittle put off by them not having their dresses.
Post # 13
Oh to answer some of the questions that were posted after my last response,
My sister ( while we were fighting chatting) went and ordered a dress online. I think it was out of spite but she says it wasn’t.
The one without the money, I don’t have anything to lend her. My mom isn’t happy that I will probably just offer to help them because she says you don’t pay for ppl to be in your wedding that’s their responsibilty blah blah but it isn’t always that easy.
Thanks again to all for helping me down off my bridal soapbox. I didn’t like it there!
Post # 14
I don’t think you are over-reacting. Even if you are letting them pick out a dress, they still shouldn’t wait until the last mintue to get it done.
And I don’t know what the PPs who are saying that your girls won’t need any alterations since the dresses are off the rack are talking about. I quite requently have to get off-the-rack dresses altered to fit right and be the right length.
Post # 15
@Mrs.KMM: Thank you!
I am hopeful that this will be the last mental breakdown I have on the dresses issue.
My one sister has since apologized. My other sister must have called our mom cause she text me asking what was going on and then yelled at the sister that made me feel bad lol
I’m still not happy and will probably cry it out tonight after the kids go to bed since Fiance will be working late tonight and I’ll be alone. But, it is what it is.
Post # 16
What about the prospect of your sister without a dress borrowing one?