(Closed) Am I in too far to change my mind??

posted 8 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: If you thought having a courthouse ceremony would save you stress & $ would you do it at this point?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    57 %
    No : (11 votes)
    39 %
    Undecided : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I think its a hard decision but we all got to that stage in planning where going to the courthouse just sounds so much more appealing. 

    I say its probably not too late, but is that what you really want? Will you regret it later on?  A wedding is much more memorable in 20 years than a new basement or bathroom. 

    I think there are a lot of things you mentioned that you could cut back on.  Things like ring bearer pillows, toasting flutes, etc are all realtively cheap projects but do add up in the end.  Get a detailed budget of where you want your money to go and stick to it.  Maybe see if you can pull this wedding off for $4,000 and that gives you some money left over for a honeymoon and some new bathroom decorations. 


    Post # 4
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    If I was only going to loose $250 I would cancel my reception right now! We are getting married in the Bahamas with just 8 people and I wouldnt change that but we are also having a hometown reception and I wish I could cancel that!

    Post # 5
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Not everyone needs a traditional wedding. I would have been fine with eloping if my fiance hadn’t wanted to have ALL of his family there.

    I really believe that it’s more important to work on a marriage, instead of a wedding.

    Post # 6
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Here’s what I thought about weddings before I had one: I thought they were a waste of money. We had one because my hubby wanted one, so I planned and DIYd and found this website. When the actual day came, I was so excited and I loved every minute. Yes, it was stressful, not perfect, tears, and we could’ve used the money for something else, but I loved that day and I loved marrying my hubby in front of so many people who love us.

    Do what you want, but I truly believe you can have a gorgeous wedding cheaply which you will love. However, going the simpler route can be extremely special too. I’ve seen pictures of beautiful courthouse weddings.

    Post # 7
    1487 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I second caszos–we have ALL wanted to just scrap it and run to the courthouse.  In fact, I’m sure that I put up a post exactly like this several months ago.  I can tell you that at this point, I’m glad that we didn’t, though I am relieved that it’s almost over.  If the big wedding isn’t what you WANT, that’s different, but if you’re just feeling stressed and overwhelmed, I wouldn’t necessarily run off just to get it over with.

    Post # 8
    1645 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I wavered a LOT on skipping the wedding and going to the court house, or eloping somewhere. In a lot of ways, I think it would have been just fine to do that. I ended up sticking it out and going through with the wedding, but we did an awesome wedding on a severe budget (3k). We had a lot of family and friends help, and the different wedding events (shower, rehersal, wedding) were all really great.

    There are a lot of things we could have done with the time and money spent on the wedding. However, it meant so much to our family that we had the wedding and shared the day with everyone. Before you decide to cancel, think about your family and friends and what it means to them.

    In our case, if we couldn’t have done the wedding on our budget, we wouldn’t have had the wedding, or would have gone much smaller 25-30 ppl instead of 125. While a wedding is a great event to share with friends and family and to really celebrate, to me it’s not worth spending more money than we did. Even if someone had given us 30k to spend on our wedding or not use at all, I wouldn’t have changed it.

    Post # 9
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If I thought I would regret it later, I would stick with the plan. If I KNEW I wouldn’t have any regrets…I wouldn’t hesitate to cancel the whole thing and head to the courthouse. It’s just about what decision you can live with.

    Post # 10
    2289 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Sometimes I think of the money we’ve spent and I cry a little, but then I also think of this: how often do you get to throw a party like that and would I regret it in 20 years if we didn’t have one?

    If the answers are “as often as I’d like” and “No”, then just go to the courthouse. But if you think you might regret it, stick with it and do it all on your terms.

    Post # 12
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    It’s not too late to do the courthouse thing. Save your sanity! If it’s something you think you might regret then a good compromise might be to have a vow renewal ceremony a year later or on your 5th anniversay.

    Post # 13
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    $250 is nothing, I say you can definitely change your mind! I’m actually really surprised that most people think you are too far in! We had wayyyyyy more to put down in deposits that we would have lost (like, almost $10,000) by the time we were in your shoes. THAT is too far in to turn back. But you? You’ve got the leeway to change your mind 🙂

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