Am I invited? Save the Date but not Invite

posted 2 months ago in Guests
  • poll: Am I invited?
    Definitely not invited : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Definitely invited : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Not sure, it's okay to ask the couple : (63 votes)
    89 %
    Not sure, it's not okay to ask the couple : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    746 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    Your SO should ask them… It would be pretty rude to not invite you.

    Post # 3
    5154 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Your SO should ask them. And when he does I think he should mention that you two are confused because your name was on the STD, so you’re sure there was just some sort of invite addressing mix up. 

    Post # 4
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Have your SO ask. If they’re being rude and rescinding your invite from the original save-the-date, they should at least have to own up to it. If they somehow managed to mess up the invite, then they’ll be glad you checked! 


    Post # 5
    974 posts
    Busy bee

    Yes, of course it’s appropriate for your SO to ask. It is not appropriate for them to recind your invitation and I hope that’s not the case.

    Post # 6
    619 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I just did this! (oops!) I sent a STD to my friend with “and guest” because she has a new bf that I never met, but when I sent out the invite I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally just addressed it to her. She texted me to ask if she could bring her bf. I was glad she did! I actually feel really bad that I messed it up. I addressed my envelopes between 3 and 5am after staying up all night putting them together (DIY bride problems), so yeah mistakes happen. It’s totally okay for your SO to ask. 

    Post # 7
    1495 posts
    Bumble bee

    Totally ok for your partner to ask.

    “hey joe! I got your invite and just wanted to confirm if it was for both me and yournamehere? Thanks!”

    Post # 8
    282 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I think it’s okay to check – could just be a mistake on their part. 

    Post # 9
    8639 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Under these circumstances totally OK for your BF to check. It’s possible it was an oversight and it’s also possible that it was an intentional change of plan. The latter would not be polite. Your BF could always decline. 

    Post # 10
    104 posts
    Blushing bee

    I agree with other Bees who said that your BF should ask about. It’s possible they could have just made a mistake- either on the invitation OR on the STD. It’s safe to get clarification. 

    Post # 11
    266 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    It’s both ok to ask, and kind to give them the benefit of the doubt. As a PP mentioned, addressing mistakes do happen.  We felt horrible when an RSVP envelope came back with the guest’s own stamp on it. They probably thought we were too cheap to provide stamps, when the reality was we accidentally skipped one and had no idea. Things happen!

    Post # 12
    792 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    Likely it’s a simple oversight/error on their side — it happens! I had the opposite where long time couple broke up and when I sent the invite I forgot to take her name off of it….oops!! I felt SO guilty! 

    Have your SO confirm with the bride and groom that you’re on the guest list 🙂

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