(Closed) “Am I invited?”

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh man I totally feel you on this…I had many people before I was even engaged say to me "I better be invited" or "I am going to be invited to the wedding right?" I think this is such an odd thing to say or assume.

 But, to answer your questions. Yes they will be offended…but let them be butt hurt it is your wedding and you are not obligated to invite anyone you don’t want to. I am sure they will get over it eventually. It may just be a reality check for them to not assume and to never say that again to another bride to be! Don’t worry about it, they are the weird ones here for asking. 

Post # 4
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i must be the only person that unvites herself from a wedding invite!  i always say ‘i understand the numbers game so can i come to the ceremony to see you get married but skip the party?" this is usually met by widen eyes from the bride who can start thinking about another 2 people she can fit into her list

how about if you invite them to the ceremony only and explain that due to numbers its family only and very small. i dont understand peoples sense of entitlement when it comes to attending weddings


Post # 5
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

haha, I had people tell me how they can’t wait for my wedding, it’ll be so fun, etc. Well, I didn’t invite that many friends cuz i wasn’t dropping X dollars on a plate for someone who I wasn’t that close with. They just never got an invite, and it’s now 4 weeks til and nobody hsa brought it up to me.

Post # 6
7 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

I had a few people make similar comments to me. I just smiled and said, "It should be a fun night." No commitment and I sent invitations to close friends and family. You shouldn’t feel obligated to invite people because they attempt to invite themselves.

Post # 7
484 posts
Helper bee

I guilted myself into inviting double the amount of people I wanted to invite to the wedding. I am a terrible liar and am the type that wants everybody to be happy so I couldn’t deal with the "Am I invited?" and "Can’t wait for the wedding" people. But of course now I don’t feel guilty, I feel mad – at myself for caving and at them for putting me in an awkward position. My advice: don’t do what I did!

Post # 8
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

yeah but how about kids of a first cousin? or your own nephews and nieces, I asked my bro 4 weeks ago he said no, now he changes his mind, what do you do with that? Now my Fiance adding more but he only had 5 to begin with, what do you do with that? That’s why we’re having a second party in england for hose who cant make it, i feel selfish for asking him not to invite too many, but then I’m paying for the stateside wedding, I can’t handle a huge list, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

Post # 9
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Someone I work with basically got all huffy with me when he realized that he’s not invited.  Um, I hardly know him, never met his wife, and I’m getting married where I grew up, 2000 miles from where I live and work!  He’s asked me here and there about my wedding situation, and I’ve answered his questions politely and tersely.  He recently said something to me like, "You know you should probably send out invites to inform people of your wedding date b/c they have to make plans etc."  I politely said that I’ve done that.  Then he got all weird and flat out said, well I guess I’m not invited to your wedding then.  To be honest I’m absolutely astonished that he might even have thought he would be.  I don’t get it.  We absolutely have no social relationship outside of work.  He doesn’t even join the few of us who occasionally go for Friday happy hours.  I’ve never seen him in any other setting than my office.  But all of a sudden he thinks I’m going to invite him to my wedding?!  People have really weird ideas about these things.  And it’s absolutely ont hem and their weirdness.  Don’t feel bad…you don’t need an excuse not to invite people to your wedding.

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