(Closed) Am I just a humorless stick in the mud? Or does anyone else not like this?

posted 10 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Are you offended by humor that implies the groom is being trapped by marriage?

    No. Lighten up. It's all in fun!

    Yes. It's annoying and juvenile and a bit offensive.

    Other (please explain).

  • Post # 17
    Member
    950 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think it depends on the context…most of these offensive assumptions contain some grain of truth.  It’s not a coincidence that 3 of the 4 main characters on Sex & the City constantly work towards a monogamous relationship (& it’s work because a bunch of the men in their lives DON’T want it), while only one “has sex like a man.”  When comments like these come from the older generations, I let it slide…it’s how things were perceived in their time. (I have an inkling that something about how impressively patient I was to wait so long for Fiance to come around will sneak into FFIL’s speech at the wedding)

    However,  when it comes from people in our generation, I don’t like it & take offense.  I especially don’t like it when women in our generation try to make a double standard (i.e. not tolerating behavior from men, but then do the same towards men, implying that men are whipped if they do what the women in the relationship want).  But I’m at a loss on how to minimize it at that second without sounding like an old fuddy-duddy.

    Post # 18
    Member
    3563 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My Fiance refers to me as “the old ball and chain” all the time, especially in front of people. He likes to think of it as affectionate ribbing. It doesn’t bother me. I was actually thinking of getting him one of those “game over” shirts! I guess I feel like we both know it’s all in good fun and I know that he’s SO excited to get married–he totally does it to get laughs from other people, so I let him have his little joke. Doesn’t bother me at all.

    True story: Fiance wanted to dress up as this for Halloween this year. It was vetoed very quickly.

    Post # 19
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I don’t really mind b/c my fiance doesn’t find it funny.  If someone says that to him he usually states how he doesn’t feel that way and is very excited to marry me.  If it were happening a lot and his response to such a statement was more of an agreement, then I would get upset.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1019 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    we both just roll our eyes at these comments and both ignore it.

    Post # 21
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think that a lot of people in my parents’ generation find this sort of thing funny.  I think the whole “a woman is always dying to get married” stereotype is starting to fade.  I’ve never had a person under 40 say anything like that to me.

    Post # 22
    Member
    5385 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I don’t like those jokes and neither does my FH. If he did, I would remind him that he is the one that proposed to me, so it wouldn’t make sense if he said something like that.

     

    Post # 23
    Member
    1816 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    @Portlandbride:  I am so sorry to hear that.  The bestman sounds like a complete jerk. 

    I am not necessarily offended by this stuff, but that is probably because I have never thought about what it really implies.  Also, I have never been called a ball and chain, so I can remove myself from the comparison.  On the other hand, I am not a fan of it either.  It is antiquated and sexist.

    Post # 24
    Member
    67 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Those comments do bother me (though I love the Game Over shirt), but I try to let it roll off my back. The people making those comments are usually pathetic single guys, so I consider the source.

    Post # 25
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    It’s not only not funny, it’s pretty much the lamest and oldest joke in the history of the world.

    But what can we expect, really? A lot of men really do have that whole Peter Pan “I’ll never grow up” thing going on. Funny, when you consider all these studies that have been done that conclude that married men are healthier, wealthier, generally better off in every way than single men. My husband never needed any prompting to propose … and he tells me every day how glad he is to be married to me. I’m so thankful I found a man, not a boy.

    Post # 26
    Member
    5982 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    a little bit of both. it depends how many times i have heard it in the past 5 minutes. but honestly, i have not heard many…yet…

    Post # 27
    Member
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee

    i dont like it.. its actually annoying..

    My Fiance asked a random question on his FB… he asked if it would be bad if we both started wearing our wedding rings.. and his cousin made a stupid comment like  “No you wont be able to score any chicks”…  My Fiance thought it was funny so i put “My engagment ring never stopped me” Want to play with fire.. LOL

    I hate that though and to top it off his cousin is a newley wed who hasn’t really spent time with his new wife because he has been living overseas performing… Like really? me and my fiance have lived together for going on 4 years already…

     

    Post # 28
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I don’t find these funny at all.  My Fiance “won” the ball and chain award from his frat. at their formal his senior year.  I was so mortified.

    Post # 29
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I don’t think those types of jokes are particularly humorous, but constantly being offended (at anything) is pointless. It sucks away all of my positive energy and leaves me snarky. I would respond to people that say blatant things to your face, and your fiance’s very gracious response was perfect, but don’t waste your time otherwise.

    Post # 30
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I get offended, but not as a woman, more as a person with a good sense of humor.  It’s completely lazy humor.  How many times have we heard these jokes?  Completely hackneyed.

    When people make jokes like that I just tell them that I am disappointed that they would be so lazy to use such a lame joke.  This usually embarasses them.  And then I don’t hear it again.

    Post # 31
    Member
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think they’re quite stupid, personally. But i get where the ‘humor’ comes from–very old fashioned humor. I’ve had people joke to DH about me being his ball and chain and i just say, “well, looks like you know who wears the pants in this house!” right back. Nobody takes them seriously, but they’re not my cup of tea.

    Ok i think the bowling ball thing is KINDA funny but sounds like the best man took it too far.

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