(Closed) Am I just being a bridezilla??

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011 - Samuel Lynne Galleries and Marc Events

You are definitely NOT being a bridezilla. That would make me so upset! I’m so sorry that this is happening! Does the couple that is getting married the night before know that you guys are getting married the next morning and that there is a lot of cross-over with your wedding party? Is it possible that they just don’t know, and the groomsmen (being guys) didn’t think to tell them?

Post # 4
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

As long as he isn’t planning on showing up hungover, I don’t think it’s a big deal. I had a bridesmaid miss the rehearsal, and ironically, one of the gals who was at the rehearsal actually messed up at the ceremony… It still wasn’t a big deal. 🙂

However, I will concede that the situation would stress me out as well, so I think you can be annoyed to yourself. It will probably turn out perfectly though.

Post # 5
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I do think you are being a bit unreasonable.

If two of my good friends were getting married on the same weekend and both asked me to be in the wedding party I would say yes and be thankful they didn’t fall on the same day.

This groomsmen may not be able to come to the rehearsal (not really a big deal someone can fill him in on the details) but it should not interfere with your wedding. This guy is a grown man and knows what he’s responsibilities are for your wedding day – he will know how much he can drink and not to be late!

Post # 6
Member
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 As long as he can honor his commitment to your Fiance, he can do whatever he wants with his free time. Men don’t think about things such as rehearsals and rehearsal dinners so you may have to tell him your plans soon, so he knows when his presence will be required.

Post # 7
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you have a right to be concerned. Hopefully your groomsman is mature enough to make it to your wedding the next morning. I don’t think there’s much you can do about the situation other than let him know that you are worried he has too much on his plate. As for the rehearsal dinner, I’ve seen and been in many weddings where at least one of the bridal party members was anable to attend. Most weddings are simple enough to fill in the missing person before the ceremony so that they know what’s going on. Just let him know who he’s walking with, what order he is walking in, and whether he is standing or sitting during the ceremony.

Post # 8
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If he thinks he can handle both responsibilities, then that’s fine.  You shouldn’t worry about it.   It’s not your problem to figure out the logistics for everything – just go with his reassurance that he’ll be there for your wedding and don’t think of it again.  Yes, he’ll probably miss the rehearsal but it’s really not that complicated to figure out where to go as a member of the bridal party.   It’s going to be on him to not be hungover or sleep in.  Worse case scenario, he’s not there and another Groomsmen walks two of the girls down the aisle.  Not the end of the world – I was in a friend’s wedding when one of the Groomsmen couldn’t get there because immigration denied his visa last minute; a Groomsmen walked two of us down the aisle and it was no big deal (and that’s if the worst case scenario occurs for you!)

I know I’m being a bit blase about this but trust me, there are going to be much bigger things to worry about than this….and as this is something out of your control, don’t give it another thought.   Give him all the info he needs as you finalize it and leave it at that.   Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think that sucks more for him than for you. For you, you can party a little the night before, and then leave early to get some beauty rest.

Maybe you can mention that to him?

 

For him, it may interfere with wedding night  **ahem** activities.

 

To me, I would find it inconsiderate. Have they put down a deposit? Since it is your man’s friend, not yours, anything you try to do will make you look bad (even though I would be extremely frustrated at your situation). See what your Fiance can do.

Post # 10
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would also be stressed; you are NOT being a bridezilla. They knew when your wedding was, so it’s rather inconsiderate that they planned their wedding the night before yours, especially when you have the same guys in each of your weddings.

But instead of being pissed, let’s be productive. Obviously you can’t tell them to move their wedding date. I would have your FH talk to these guys openly and honestly.

Instead of venting about how hurt the two of you are, I would just encourage your FH to tell them that he understands their wedding is the night before and he’s not telling them to change it, but he’s concerned about the groomsmen showing up late or hung-over. Once he’s expressed those legitimate concerns, the guys would have to be total a-holes to show up late or groggy. 

Let your FH handle it and just focus on your big day. Everything’s going to be okay!

Post # 11
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

no, i really don’t think you’re being unreasonanble. He already commited to being a part of your day and the rehearsal, dinner, and other festivities and he should have thought about that before agreeing to be in the other wedding. I would talk to your Fiance and the guy to lay down some ground rules if he’s going to go through with it.

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