(Closed) Am I just being cynical about a vow renewal one year after the wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Vow Renewals
Post # 92
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

1 year seems to soon for me.. That feels like right after the first marriage she was already planning her “renewal” since most times it takes about a year to plan a wedding. I know for my husband and I we got married at our local county recorders chapel just the two of us and his sister and brother no one else. We are having a reception in August and then have already said because his grandma feels its not real until its in a church that we will renew our vows in about 10 years in a church and have the full ceremony and reception with the white dress and everything… But 1 year seems to soon why do you feel the need to have to say them again so soon what do they not remember what they promised to each other. Its simple love honor trust you know them lol. Maybe like other posts have stated maybe something happened in her picture perfect world to make her feel the need to have to renew her vows.

Post # 93
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

In all honesty I feel like that is a bit much… even a STD for it!

Post # 94
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2010

The huge celebration part seems a bit much – but who’s to say the rest of us wouldn’t act in the same manner if we didn’t have too much time and money on our hands?! Wink But yearly vow renewal isn’t a new idea. Plenty of other couples do it – including some celebs like Heidi/Seal, Mariah/Nick. My Darling Husband and I plan to as well to keep the beauty of the commitment and the overwhelming feelings of love and joy with us as we go on our shared journey. Of course, like most people, we plan to either have only close family and friends or to do it all alone. What can I say? I love ceremoniously declaring my undying love for my best friend, soul mate and the best thing that ever happened to me!!! Laughing

Post # 95
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

WTF?  seriously LOL…

my husband and I have been married for 18 years now and are planning our 20 year vow renewal (see date above)… we had the traditional vows and this is how our life has been…

Goodtimes/and bad – some people do not know how Bad, bad can actually be.  The loss of my mom, his dad (whithin a year of eachother) and the loss of a baby… yea thats pretty bad…  there are other things, but those are the most important, since everyone grieves differently its hard to understand what the other one is feeling…

Richer/poorer: We used to make 6 figures and lived like it!!!!, then lost everything a couple of years ago due to the economy crash, my husband was laid off, and I got really ill (coming up next in the list LOL)  we ended up moving in with his mother (NOT FUN) and now we are returning to a livable lifestyle again.  We are renting a small but comfortable house, and we are so much more thankful than we ever have been for this dinky place:) 

Sickness/Health:  I have fibromyalgia and arthritis…  but thats not even close to what Meniere’s diseas did to me.  A few years ago I got really really sick with vertigo all the time, lost hearing in my left ear, had my inner left ear removed, just got a screw placed in my head for a bone anchored hearing aide, so I am recouperating from all these surgeries (that have happened in the last 3 months). 

so yea, we deserve a vow renewal…  the first year of marriage, pshhhh please girl, I do not think you are being a bitch at all.  I would have said “are you effin kidding me?”  I would decline this invitation in a heartbeat and wonder “WTF is up with this chic?” and I agree, send a note card and write on the front “jack shit”  and when she opens it she can say “all i got was jack shit” LOL  But thats what I would do…

seirously….

oh and i saw that SYTTD too… they just did their VR with them on the beach, and I thought it was sweet, so it was like they took a vacation and said their vows to each other.  I thought that was sweet, but was put off at first.

OMG… 1 year LOL… hilarious!  how old is she out of curiousity? 

Post # 96
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What a freaking nut. And that is me being nice. I would straight up tell her that you already attended her wedding, but there is no way you’ll miss your cousin’s for a vow renewal, and that she needs to stop trying to convince you to skip your cousin’s wedding because it’s just getting annoying – she would of flipped if someone missed her real wedding to go to a vow renewal. And I’d probably be bitchy and add on “especially when your actual wedding was only a year ago, it’s not a milestone anniversary or something.”

Post # 97
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just sounds like post wedding depression gone too far.  That’s A LOT of attention.  And I’m surprised that her husband and family would support such big expense AGAIN.  I wonder if she’s an only child…

It boggles my mind that people are beginning to think that one year is a huge milestone.

I shouldn’t judge – I don’t know who they are and the dynamics.

If it were one of my friends, I would have looked at them like they were crazy.  I’d send them a card and a small gift.  There’s enough gift giving opportunities that I have to pay for.

 

 

Post # 98
Member
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh, and I forgot to say this in my post but I would NOT be sending any kind of gift or card. It’s their anniversary, they can give eachother gifts. You’re not getting any gifts rom me just for staying married unless it’s a big deal anniversary like 25 years or something. For her to expect them is incredibly selfish.

Post # 99
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

When did she get married?  She bought her new “vow renewal” dress literally a couple months after her wedding?!  Total attention whore and her hubby probably is too, living the club lifestyle.  They should just throw a giant party and charge a cover so they make money and not lose it!

Post # 100
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Nope not cynical, this is extremely strange & weird.

I could see a small get together/ party to celebrate your 1 year anniversary w/ friends (I’ve heard of this before) but a vow renewal for your 1 year, what is there to renew??

Post # 101
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@baletrina:hahaha love this idea! yeah, your friend is kinda crazy and kinda rude saying her day will be better than your cousins. I wonder how many ppl will show up! I’m watching that episode of SYTTD with the one year vow renewal. I was hoping to sneak a 5yr vow renewal in there but Fiance is like um no. Maybe 10 at the earliest!

Post # 102
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow… just… wow.

Post # 103
Member
4753 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s silly and I guess I’d be called a “bitch” too. Oh wells.

Post # 104
Member
27 posts
Newbee

@Miss Tattoo: What a bitch… scratch that….what a crazy bitch! Sorry for being so ruthless; but honestly, she obviously likes to be in the center of attention. After a year of marriage a vow renewal would be great, maybe if it was very intimate. As in 10 people? Or even just the couple. 500 Save the Date’s for a vow renewal? I wouldn’t miss a cousin’s FIRST wedding for that. What a great ‘friend’ that she even suggest you miss your family member’s wedding to go to her selfish party? Okay, maybe now I’M being cynical about it, and it’s not even my issue. I know a girl that would do something like this, it just drive’s me nuts. When my parents renewed their vows on their 20th wedding anniversary; it was just the 2 of them. This was their 20th. Anyway, you’re not being cynical about anything, that’s just outrageous!

Post # 105
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is chick is messed up. I honestly wouldn’t even send her a card after how she acted about your cousin’s wedding. “Oh mine will be better, because i’m so great and rich and awesome and your cousin sucks, blah blah blah.” (Sorry hunny but your day doesn’t mean “jack shit” because you did this once already, maybe thats why you’re getting “jack shit”.) Sorry if I am being harsh on her but I went from thinking she is nuts, to nuts and self centered, to nuts and self centered and cruel. She was pretty much bashing your cousins wedding because hers “is going to be so much better.” Its not the fact that she is having a vow renewal after a year (sorry even today that is not an accomplishment unless something harrowing has happened, which it does, but if nothing has happened then its not an accomplishment) but it is more the fact that she HAS to be the center of attention and get a ton of gifts again. How is she going to be when she has a baby and everyone is cooing over the new baby and buying the new baby gifts and not her?

I’d just tell her “Sorry but I’m not coming. Family comes first to me and this is her first wedding, not her second.”

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