(Closed) Am I just being overly sensitive? (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Am I being over sensitive?

    Yes, suck it up.

    Maybe, you probably just misunderstood her intentions.

    No!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    You need to organise another chat with her and this time your so needs to be there. You and him need to tell her that it is none of anyone’s business whether you have had sex or not, and you are not going to change your plans for her or anyone else.

    Three more things she needs to know- her daughter is not being very Christian in her own actions, you plan to get married one day and she risks not being asked to her own sons wedding if this continues any further and if you have children one day she risks getting cut off from them too. Remind her that all of this will be her own doing and not yours. Tell her you would prefer her to be part of your future children’s lives but this feeling will not last if this continues. Sort this out with her as soon as your apartment is finished as this will only fester if left alone.

    Post # 33
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Yuck. Good luck dealing with that. PP gave lots of good advice. First and foremost, make sure your SO believes you. Second, make it clear to your Future Mother-In-Law that all future “chats” happen with you AND SO, just your SO, or not at all. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2005

    1)  OP stated they have not had sex yet. 

    2)  They also aren’t “turned out on to the streets” they are having their apartment redone.  They probably could have gone to a hotel but SO asked his parents instead.

    3) SO mother did this without him present which means she thinks he probably wouldn’t have approved of the conversation.

    I think you and SO need to have a chat with her.  Realize that this is not a permanent relocation and you will soon be back at home.  However, if ground rules aren’t laid out now she will try to control your whole life!  If your SO doesn’t believe you, you need to make sure he does.  This could just be the first of MANY issues that you need SO by your side.  If he isn’t going to stand up for you, you need to move on. 

    Good luck and keep us posted!

    Post # 36
    Member
    311 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    WOW. What a odyssey. I’m glad its going well (??) now. I had to laugh though, when she said that she was keeping your relationship a secret from his sister. What century are we living in???! Heaven forbit (and I say that somewhat literally), that someone else have different ideals than you. So much so that they will faint and perish at the mere thought of co-habitation/seeing each other/speaking/meeting/dating/sleeping together/etc before a marriage. Really, its not funny; just sad.

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