- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
I’m sorry this post can be quite rambling. Evertime around this time of the month (PMS) I feel quite depressed and emotional, sorry for venting, I just need to let it out sometimes. In normal days, I normally feel happy with our relationship, still stress out but I think I can handle them, but it is getting hard sometimes.
My FH is a very “good and great man”, he loves me deerly and vice versa. He is very different to me in almost everything. We are both introvert. He is calm, gentle and have characters that I dont have – he has passion in photography whereas I dont have any interest in any kind of art except in fashion. He is a very analytical person (normally classified as over analytical among his friends), I’m more of if things that dont bother /relate to me, I dont really care/think about them. These things attract us to each other, and also probably make me and him feel like the other person doesn’t understand each other’s action sometimes.
There are things about him that bother me (in everyday, I accept that it’s how he is, but when I am being depressed or having PMS, it makes me think how our life will be another 5 or 10 years later, and I dont know if I want to have kids with him):
– He helps me a little in housework, I do almost everything and I still need to remind him most of the time, however he will do if I ask. (I dont mind for now, and I actually like doing them, but what if we have kids later on, can he change ??? We earn a decent income, he earns significant more than me, and his job is more demanding than mine so he would like to focus on work rather than housework, and if necessary, cleaner is an option).
– I do a monthly budget, and daily expense sheet using Finance App, he allows me to have access to view his account (and vice versa, but the finance subject bores him to tear) and make payment to our credit cards after he agrees, with one condition that I dont have the right to criticise what he is spending on. However, with all the expense for honeymoon, wedding, holidays, saving for our house deposit and I dont want to go to debt, we really do need to spend according to our monthly budget, but he said he doesn’t want to have stress, and dont want to feel stress everytime he wants to buy small things, because he makes enough money to cover them, full stop. I dont really care about what he is spending on to be honest, but it would be great if he will participate more, and tries to cut down some of his unncessary expense (such as coffees, cakes, junk food etc).
– During the weekend, most of the time, he will go to bed really late (playing xbox, doing some tutorials for work, surfing the webs etc.) until 6am, and then wake up earliest 12pm, and half a day is wasted (I wake up at 6-7am everyday and weekend as well). During the week, he will go to bed at 1-2am in the morning, and not having enough sleeps.
– When I study part-time, didn’t have time to do the housework, and I dont want to nag, the house was a total mess, and we had takeway food everyday. What if we have kids later on, and I am sick or being away, what will happen???
And other things as well, such as eating junks a lot while being over weight, drive carelessly that I hate sitting in the car with him sometimes. He is very careless that has caused us a lot of troubles sometimes (left the gps holder in dashboard and the theft broke in by the side window; drove at a high speed at night time in country road, hit the possum that broke the font panel of the car, carried his camera in the storm, and the camera was damaged costing him almost $10k to replace).
The bottom line, he is very careless, irresponsible, and doesn’t want to have stress in anyway (his mother borke down because of stress, and now he is really against being stress), whereas I am a control freak. Sometimes, we do think what if we will have children, I dont think we can handle it, especially raising a kid these days are very expensive. I do think he will be a great dad being a very calm, persistent, and lots of characters to be a great parent, but how’s about responsibility to take care of them, and helping with the housework?
For other days, I am fine, but days like today, I feel very emotional, and feeling strapped, without a solution. Am I being over demanding?