(Closed) Am I just exaggerating?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would talk to him about it, and take a few days to pamper yourself.  Often, when Fiance and I argue these days its just because I’m the one who is causing it- though I will never admit it in the midst of the argument. The stress of planning a wedding, being long distance, and living in general has caused us to stress about some of the dumbest things..

Go get a facial πŸ™‚ Though, I am on a shoestring budget and for me, that means to whip out the good ole’ $3.00 mud mask from Walgreens, and stick roughly chopped cucumbers on my eyes and lock the door, it works wonders for our relationship.

 

Good luck with your man!

Post # 5
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sometimes guys get stressed and they tend to be A**’s. I think it probably has something to do with them not being able to handle more than one thing at a time. Perhaps he is stressed with work, or family, or friends, or over the long distance. Sounds to me like he may be feeling some stress about securing you both a home. That is a big deal for men. ( to provide). This does not give him any excuse to be short with you, but at least maybe you can look at it in a different way so that you don’t feel like it is you. Also, although it is wrong people tend to hurt the ones they love, and take out their anger/strees/issues on them. Again, not an excuse. He should respect you as his other half, and an equal partner. But I can say that my fiance and I have experienced this as well, and we are living with each other. It comes with the comfort of being “used” to each other. You forget about the other’ s feelings sometimes.  Love is a roller coaster. I am a firm believer in establishing ground rules before you enter a marriage or any relationship for that matter so that you know what the other expects. Maybe you guys can sit and talk and lay out what is bothering you (in a calm, and mature manner) and perhaps you will be surprised in getting what you want out of your relationship once you really ask.

Remember it is all about delivery…if you delivery the message with a scolding, or angry/frustrated tone, you are gonna get that right back.  πŸ™‚

 

Just my opinion, but I hope it is food for thought

Post # 7
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You should spend some time together and agree not to talk about wedding planning or apartment hunting, and that will really help get things back to normal. Wedding planning and moving can be major source of stress and can put a lot of strain on relationships

Post # 8
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

you are very welcome!! I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I always say “it’s only an issue if you make it one” When you guys talk dont be dramatic “OH MY GOD THIS IS THE END”, just be matter of fact. Unfortunately it is sometimes so diffcult to tell men something because they really just hear what they think you may be saying. Haha….Does that even make sense!?!? But in all seriousness don’t go in blaming him for taking stress out on you ( even though he is) just say things like ” I really think all this extra stuff is getting in the way, let’s get together and shut our phones off, and just be together. ” or something…..Look inside yourself and be honest….can you imagine not marrying him?  and not just right now while he is being a jerk, because you have to marry the person as a whole, but if you break up you will break up with him as a while as well. πŸ™‚ Hope that helps!! Ive just been there!

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