(Closed) Am I losing my mind? I feel so sad

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
487 posts
Helper bee

The other instances you listed could have just been you being sensitive (no offense, I am the same way ) but the Taylor Swift song, either drunk or not, was completely uncalled for.  It seems that you fiance is uncomfortable with it which leads me to believe that either he is trying to be polite towards you since it is your friend or he just doesn’t know how to react.  If you trust him, then I wouldn’t think that there was something going on.  Oh and what was the line about “weeks since they have kissed” or something like that?  I might have read it wrong but that seems really bizarre.  I would have sent your friend a list of things she has done, just like you just posted, and demand either an explanation or an end to the friendship.  Friends don’t hit on their friends’ fiances.  They just don’t.

Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you are having all of these feelings, you needed to distance yourself from the friendship sooner and work this out. You need to just meet with her alone and keep this seperate/apart from Fiance.  You should never email something so personal, you really need to have this convo with her in person – just you and her.  You need to just tell her all the things she’s doing (listed above) is inappropriate and she just needs to stop and that it’s really bothering and hurting you. That’s the only way you can try and fix this situation. 

Post # 5
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Emotional123 Sounds like she has a thing for him and it is truly bizarre that she basically had a music theme created around the situation. I would also be curious as to why he would call you crazy when he has also admitted how strange she is being.

He could be completely innocent and upset by your lack of trust…but to call you crazy when she is talking about not having kissed him in a while, trying to dance up on him and singing songs about how he really wants her and not you…that is unfair and suspect. Trust your instincts. You have every right to be upset by her behavior and if he starts getting defensive and calling you crazy…I’d be upset by his behavior too.

Edit: Also, I wanted to say that just because you found nothing on his phone doesn’t mean anything. I don’t want to make you paranoid, but if you think something is REALLY going on (ex. the beginnings of an affair) then a phone devoid of texts is not proof. Again, he could be completely innocent, only you would know if he is also being weird. Good luck and kick her to the curb!

Post # 6
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Seems like your Fiance is just as uncomfortable as you are. I agree, looking through his phone was the wrong move, since he didn’t give you any reason to not trust him. I would tell him you were going through a crazy moment, you never didn’t trust him and its all her putting thoughts in your head. Then, end this friendship. She knows full well what she is doing. She is trying to sabotage your relationship, either by proving he would make a move, or by making you believe things that aren’t true.  Tell her very bluntly that your relationship with your Fiance is more important and if she can’t get her shit together, your friendship is over.

Oh, and you are not insane or losing your mind. But, I wouldn’t ever show your Fiance again that you think he has done anything wrong. If anything, show him how much he means to you, and how much you appreciate solidifying the fact that you are marrying the right man

Post # 7
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Her behavior is beyond inappropriate and you are being way more rational and patient than I could ever be under the circumstances. You are NOT imagining anything-she is trying to make trouble for whatever reason (jealousy or just wanting him for herself). You need to stop spending time with her, especially around your Fiance. If she asks why the distance, tell her calmly and don’t defend your decision. She’s out of line and only you can shut her down before she does real damage to your relationship. If the friendship ends, so be it. You can make new ones a lot easier than finding a new Fiance.

Post # 8
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

And when your Fiance called you crazy and said you were imagining things, I think that he meant if you thought he was making advances, you are crazy, because he obviously is not. I think it was a major blow to him that you thought he would do something like that, and he is hurt and lashing out. Again, just apologize, and think long and hard if this friendship is worth putting a rift between you and your Fiance

Post # 10
Member
2870 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m a firm believer in go with your gut. If your gut is telling you something is off, then it probably is.

Distance yourself from this friend, and support your Fiance (because he seems to be stuck in this situation too)

 

Post # 12
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think you are losing your mind but I def think she is being very disrespectful of your relationship and prob not happy foryou . I personally would not have let it drag on for this long. I would have nipped it in the butt. Don’t think you need to be having a talk with your fiance because its obvious he feels just as awkward as you do. She is def crazy to say “she has no idea what she would have done to make you feel she was flirting.” You need to have a face to face, straight to the point conversation with her about what she is doing. I would cut her off though…some “friendships” aren’t always meant to be.

Post # 13
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think I’m stuck on why she would say she kissed him?  That would raise about 100 red flags in my mind.  I would ask him how he feels and if he wasn’t like “keep that crazy biatch away from me” I might wonder..

Post # 14
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

When she says “To be more specific the kiss thing was me asking my Fiance to give me a kiss. She just said, “give me one too! It’s been a few weeks right, {instert FIs name here!?}”

is she talking about that it’s been a few weeks since Fiance kissed you or since Fiance kissed her??

Post # 15
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your friend has definitely lost the plot.

And I don’t think you’re crazy, it it does sound like something could have happened that set her off. I’d be feeling the same way you are; much as some men would like us to believe it happens all the time, women very rarely go all Fatal Attraction like that with absolutely no basis.

Post # 16
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

There are a few women who completely ignore the existance of a long term girl-friend/fiance in their pursuit of the man they believe their destined for. It sounds (from what you’ve said) that your fiance has tried to stay well away from her. I would suggest you both distance yourselves from her completely.

The topic ‘Am I losing my mind? I feel so sad’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors