Post # 17
I believe she said it as in the two of them but laughed it off as if she was joking. Afterward Fiance asked if her saying that had bothered me. So he did notice it. I should mention when I emailed her and she responded she also said she’s naturally flirtatious and maybe that was it. She also apologized for me “feeling that way.” I know it might sound selfish but this totally put a damper on my excitment of my wedding. The thought of feeling this way and standing up there with her, in my bridal party, makes me so sick. I just am flabbergasted that this is an actual problem I’m having.
Post # 18
I would end that friendship to be honest with you. Everything she’s done seems pretty intentional.
Post # 19
Once again, Bees, I just want to say thanks. Thank you for taking the time to read through this craziness and give me honest and kind responses. I really appreciate it.
Post # 20
Sometimes I feel like I’m from an entirely different planet because what some people consider to be a ‘friend’ to me sounds like a person I would never want to be around!
If she is really like a sister to you, you would have noticed this “flirtacious” behavior long ago. It wouldn’t just pop up right before you’re about to get married. If you are THAT close, she should know you well enough to know what kinds of things upset you. Even if you were complete strangers, only a complete a$$ would steal your seat next to your Fiance and start belting out anti-fiancee/anti-wedding lyrics.
Maybe I’m a knee-jerk reaction kind of person, but seriously, cleanse yourself of this person. A good friend wouldn’t go out of her way to make you feel this way. A good person wouldn’t, either.
Post # 21
She sounds like the type of girl that wants what she can’t have.
Her behavior is 1000% inappropriate and she knows it. If I ever had a friend email and me say I was being flirty with their guy (which I would NEVER do but), I would be bending over backwards apologizing for making her feel that way. Not saying I’m a flirtacious person, aka, deal with it.
It might be too late to ask her to step out of your bridal party but I wouldn’t include her in anything and I would certainly keep my distance. You don’t need that kind of energy around you and your Fiance.
I’m sure your Fiance was just upset that he was the one blamed for the friend’s actions that one night. He didn’t ask her to act that way, he’s in the same boat as you. But you know that, just stay strong together and keep the crazy b*tch away!
Post # 22
I was just checking up on you and something you said bothered me.
Fiance asked you if her saying they had kissed bothered you…Did he say it bothered him? That is a little weird to me. Most men would be like wtf…but if your fiance wasn’t the least bit flabbergasted and just asked if it bothered you…I would be suspicious. After that bit of info was added I could see why you questioned him.
Post # 23
I don’t think she has a thing for him. I think she’s trying to ruin the good relationship that OP and her Fiance have. She’s jealous. Plain and simple.
Post # 24
WOW . Is your Fiance named Jesse? that would have brought the cray cray level way up! ugh I have a knot in my stomach just reading it. Whether your friendship ends with this girl (for being an all out psycho bitch – or perhaps cheating with your FI) or you have a long serious chat with Fiance ..because something is obviously going on whether it be cheating or not
Post # 25
@Ms. Polar Bear:
Yes, it was the thing about kissing that bothered me too. That kind of thing doesn’t come out of the blue, or if it does, he should’ve been flabbergasted, at least in private later on.
Post # 26
@Ms. Polar Bear:
We had already had the conversation about her piror flirtatious behavior and I had distanced myself. After the kissing comment he said to me, “didnt that comment bother you at all after what we talked about before?” I was hoping hed say something and honestly he did seem put off kind of in a WTF way. I said it did annoy me but I fully trusted him and I was getting to the point where I was ignoring her. I think his response was something like, “its weird.” I also have to say he got bonus points when she danced “up on him.” He gave her a total wtf are you doing stare and rolled his eyes at me.
I did want to give an update. I talked to Fiance a few minutes ago about the entire situation. I asked him his opinion on my friendship with her. His first response was, “I really dont think anything about it. I’ve always felt like she was a little jealous of you, but, you’re protective of you’re friendships so I don’t say anything.” I told him how I wrote to the Bee for advice and the advice I was given. He said he agrees but didn’t ever want to feel responsible for ending a friendship. He knows her and I had a prior issue, completely unrelated, years ago. He told me he wouldn’t have continued the friendship after that so if this is the final straw for me he’s kind of happy.
Post # 27
You made me lol with “cray cray.” I say that allllllll the time. Many times when refering to this situation. Thankfully his name is not Jesse.
Just a little more background that I feel I should add. Way before this ever happened her and I had a serious discussion about her need for seeking attention. AKA if she is dating someone and someone else gives her attention she can’t help but go for it. Also her like for that “chase and rush” with guys. I told her I thought it was really important to seek conseling for those issues because they would only hurt her chances at a healthy relationship. She never did.
Post # 28
I don’t normally throw this word around but the girl sounds jealous of you and/or wants your man. She sounds inappropriate and I question her sense or rather, lack of.
I think I understand you asking for your FI’s phone. It’s not his fault, yes, but you had two options…your friend is seriously crazy or there might be cheating. I think with what we’ve all seen on here it would feel more likely the cheating. Sounds like nope, girl is crazy. Just apologize profusely to him for that, you just couldn’t believe someone would act like that, and then end that friendship. I think your Fiance really cares about your feelings.
Post # 29
Whoa whoa whoa…crazy train is in your BRIDAL PARTY?! <insert brake nosie here> Yeah, maybe it’s just me, but there’s no way I’d have this girl up there. Between the weird Ipod music display, insuating she’s kissing your Fiance, and the inappropriate dancing I’d say a giant no. She has no boundaries by the sound of it.
Give yourself a break for going through his phone. She’s messing with your mind, and the poor dude’s a victim of that. You didn’t steal it, you went through it with him. That’s a huge difference.
She sounds like a toxic friend. Why do you want this level of crazy in your life during your engagement? It’s hurting your primary relationship with your fiance. Sit the girl down and tell her what’s up.
Man, she makes me mad for you! Who does this to their friends?
Post # 30
The weird thing is the crazy singing. Up until then everything seemes ok. I mean, maybe the kissing thing, was her way of trying to connect with him, or maybe it was directed to you. The dancing thing doesn’t bug me too much, as my friends and I dance together all the time, and I recall dancing with other friends boyfriends, and kind switching on and off. Anyways, I don;t get whats up with the singing part. I don’t th ink you have lost your marbles, I think this is pretty odd behaviour, comming from anyone.
Post # 31
The music threw me off. Who does that? She had to have had that planned. I have friends that “flirt” with Fiance and that’s okay, but if they ever tried to serenade him with an iPod…
You aren’t the crazy one. I would distance myself from this friend if I were in your shoes, especially if her behavior toward your Fiance is making him uncomfortable.