Am I mean that I want to upgrade my ring

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 31
1193 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t say it’s mean, but you did just get the ring few months ago. Like everyone said, you should just wait for an anniversary of some sort to upgrade it. Plus, YOU were the one who told him you didn’t want a big diamond. He got you what you wanted. I think it would be kind of inconsiderate to then want to spend the extra money, double the value of the original to upgrade so quickly. Because it would probably have been easier to find the bigger stone the first time around that wouldn’t be double the value. But now, to upgrade you HAVE to get a diamond that will be double the cost to replace it with.

But if it’s what you really really want to, you can talk to your Fiance about it. Maybe he’ll be understanding and be ok with spending the extra money to upgrade. An engagement really isn’t all about the ring. Try not to think too much about it.

Post # 32
27 posts
  • Wedding: March 2015

Honestly I don’t know your situation or fiancé but I definitely think it could be seen as mean or greedy especially if he chose the ring to want a bigger one so soon. Have you thought about getting more diamonds in your wedding band instead they make some enhancer bands to make the original look bigger, or adding a halo as an anniversary gift. Also if you are not happy with the size of .75 you most likely will not be happy with only 1 carat.

Post # 33
1300 posts
Bumble bee

i’d at least wait until you start to look at wedding bands. you may find that .75 looks great paired with a blingy band. it’ll also give you the opportunity to try on other solitaire sizes then as well.

Post # 35
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I don’t think it’s mean to want to upgrade. I would do the opposite of what everyone suggest and I would try to talk to him about it as soon as possible. But you should be sure about exactly what you want instead. If I were a guy and my fiance told me 1-2 years after we got engaged that she wants to upgrade, I would ask how long did you want this and why didn’t you talk to me before? I know my fiance would want me to be honest and open and I’m sure your fiance would want you to love your ring. So that’s what I would do. 🙂

Post # 36
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I was actually in basically the same situation. When we looked at rings we were there for a long time, I was overwhelmed, he was overwhelmed because I was, and when we left I had picked what I wanted but told him he could choose the stone. I had also said I liked the 0.9 carat I had tried on and probably wouldn’t go any smaller. He didn’t hear the last part and bought a 0.75. He honestly had no idea and by the time I found the courage to ask about it (because yeah who wants to have that conversation?!), it was after we were married.

Mine is a round and so for me it was actually an aesthic thing because it bothered me that the stone almost but didn’t quite cover the wedding band. He understood and said he wished I’d said something sooner because he honestly just didn’t even hear the part about size and he said the sizes mostly looked the same to him anyway. We went a few days later and got a replacement. We had the same deal where we could trade in for twice the cost, and I ended up with a 1.3 carat round that I love and he loves as well. 

If you all have good communication, it’s ok to ask. I don’t think it’s greedy at all, especially if you’re grown adults who make the money to be able to spend on what you want. My husband didn’t think it was greedy either. It’s soemthing you have to wear and looks at every day. I struggled because I never wanted to upgrade, which is why I had been so specific when we looked, but I’m glad it ended up the way it did. If it bothers you now, it may continue to bother you, but only you know there answer to that. 

Good luck, bee!

Post # 37
560 posts
Busy bee

I thought my diamonds were looking smaller and smaller until I tried it on with a wedding ring. The wedding ring seemed to make a huge difference and my diamonds looked way bigger. I think your solitaire is beautiful and looks really big to me.

Post # 38
83 posts
Worker bee

What if you added a halo to it? It would give you more finger coverage!

Post # 39
1357 posts
Bumble bee

Your ring is gorgeous!!  I can understand the feeling of wanting to upgrade, but if you love the ring as it is, keep wearing it for awhile longer and see how you feel.  A 0.75 ct is a very nice size.  My husband gave me an upgrade after a few years and I honestly feel bad that he spent so much money doing it because now I wish we could have used that money to travel or do other things. I don’t wear my upgrade ring that much and tend to wear my original engagement ring more.

Post # 40
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

 I think it’s perfect! Stunning ring, and beautiful size. You probably already know this because I have pretty much exactly the same ring 😂👌🏻

Are you going to get a diamond wedding ring? That will significantly up your sparkle!

I know I chose my solitaire so I could “bling it up” with my eternity style wedding band. Really changes the look!


Post # 41
2572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I love your ring! So pretty. 

First of all, I would honestly wear your ring a little longer before even bringing it up to your Fiance. I think it sometimes takes a while to get used to your ring and 5 months (IMO) is way too early to start bringing up upgrades already. The poor guy just shelled out a lot to get the ring you asked and then a few months later you turn around and want to change it? If you think about being in his shoes, it’s pretty fast. 

Second, I would also wait until you get a wedding band. Bands can do a lot to rings. I picked a really thin simple band to make my ering stand out more, but you could always do the opposite. You could find a really blingy band to liven it up! There are a ton of simple engagement rings that women pair with awesome bands and they become super blingy. 

Post # 42
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Ring shrinkage is so real! We get use to looking at something everyday that it then doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal anymore. I will say don’t get caught up in carat weigh of diamonds because as a previous person said your .75 looks just as large as her 1.5. In buying diamonds you want to look at the measurements because you can save money getting a lower carat weight that has the same dimension as a higher carat diamond. Just some more to think about for when you do upgrade 

Post # 43
904 posts
Busy bee

sarathemermaid :  I have a decent sized solitaire of 1.1 carats and .3 cw on my pavè and for my wedding band I chose a nine stone with about .8 carats…so it adds so much extra sparkle. I think OP could consider getting a sparkle wedding band to complement her pear solitaire. Try one on and see how you feel about your engagement ring once you see it next to a sparkle band 

Post # 44
2675 posts
Sugar bee

If I were your Fiance I would be really hurt that after 5 months the ring i proposed with isn’t good enough.

Post # 45
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Beth7210 :  I would talk to him about it.  Communication is the key to a successful relationship.  It’s your forever ring and you should be happy and love it.  Go for it, heck you may have to invest into the upgrade too.  good luck

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