- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
My mind hasn’t rested for weeks thinking about this as we build our new home. My DH and I are torn if we should prioritize putting our money into a basement or garage development.
I really just want to put this out here as I do not have any friends that share the same ideas, and family may think I am still the greedy person.
I recently found out that my 60 y/o diabetic Mother-In-Law has an HbA1C of 9.8 (normal >6.8), she is a stubborn person and has a YOLO attitude when it comes to social activities which are pretty much every dang weekend. She’s also commited to herself to travel back home twice a year to do her “condo selling business” but really to enjoy more of the bad food. Now, my gripe is that she is handling this disease very poorly and I am dreading the day when she requires us to care for her due to her own irresponsibilities.
She has welcomed us, though, to stay in her home for 10 months while we got our first place sorted out post wedding. A temporary home where, I was not ever comfortable in. For instance, she would show her guests rooms including the time when I was still asleep or finding a cranny to set my food in her fridge (hoarder of ALL things, a tetris game in the fridge all the time).
Mother-In-Law has a retirement living plan of living in a condo one block away from the hospital. And while this sounds reassuring, there are so many factors that could turn this around and us needing to help her and Father-In-Law out, including financial downturn.
Going back to our home building, we took one room out (2 left upstairs), but considered a developed basement with 1 bedroom. These 2 standard rooms we have in case, we have two kids in the next 5 years max. Having the extra bedroom in the basement or even having the basement developed is giving me anxiety that may give my inlaws space ideas.
Should we hold off the basement dev’t until we do get to have a 2nd child and when he/she reaches 12 and or keep it developed in order to avoid the hassle of internal reno work? On the other hand, if we do get the garage in lieu of basement, we would be able to use it everyday from day 1. I may have the obvious answer here, but my goal is not to ever live with inlaws and make the reasonable choice to put our current budget into the home building.
My stress on this has gone up since Mother-In-Law is inching close her prime years with so many comorbities. When we tell her to look after herself, it seems that she loves the attention that her kids care for her. But really, it almost seems that she doesn’t love us back to burden us for the care that she will require when she becomes unable to do so. We don’t have any kids yet and I can’t believe I am thinking on this:(
Thank you for reading my vent, and would love to read if you guys have any sorts of comments/ advice for me.