(Closed) Am I normal to still be hurting? Help! Sorry a little bit TMI…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7777 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

My advice is to seek counseling. You sound like you have some issues to work through. I would at least seek out an abortion support group for people who have had them. Just being able to talk to someone who has been through the same as you would be beneficial.

Best of luck!

Post # 4
1547 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Hell girl… im so sorry that you had to go through all that.

I think that maybe you should try counceling so you can deal with the grief of your abortion.

Karma is going to get him, dont worry, but you being obssessed with that is not going to help you and it will only attract bad things to your life.

Focus on how loved and successful you are and let life kick him in the ass.

stay strong!

Post # 5
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry you had to deal with such a horrible person. Like others said seek counselling. Miscarriages and abortions are not easy to deal with and sounds like you never did emotionally deal with them. Start there and as you mend those scars others will become more clear.  

Post # 6
423 posts
Helper bee

@navywifenmoore:  Oh dear, I’m so sorry…HUGS! Don’t berate yourself for being foolish in your decision. All of us have been there one time or the other. It sounds like your ex can’t handle relationships like a normal, well-adjusted individual. Whatever his problem is, please keep in mind that it is all HIM and not you. He cannot process emotions like a normal individual and there is nothing you can do to make him care about you. Maybe he is incapable of feeling any kind of empathy for either his woman or his child. You cannot change that – only a qualified therapist can, so don’t beat yourself up for it.

Having said that, it is perfectly alright to feel anger towards him and wishing karmic retribution on him. He has hurt you very badly and you wish to see him either remorseful for his action or hurt in some other way. This is very human. But don’t get fixated on it. He has already lost the most wonderful person in the world (you) so just think of it as enough punishment. Go to a therapist, if needed. Get rid of the pain. You have already found a wonderful man and you are getting married to him – that’s your reward for suffering so much. You will be out of the shadow of your ex forever.

As for children, don’t let your past affect your future. Are you religious? Confessing your acts and seeking absolution for them is a wonderful way to cleanse your soul. The Lord isn’t concerned with our past or our future. He is only concerned with the present, so it’s never too late to entrust your body and soul to Him. Did you get yourself checked medically? I hope there won’t be any problems with conceiving because of the abortion. Look, whatever happened in the past is unalterable. But it doen’t need to affect your entire future. I’m sure you would be a lovely mother and your SO will be a wonderful father. Welcome those little bundles of joy into your lives and don’t let the past cast its shadow over your happy future. You can do it, girl! Pull yourself together and keep your chin up. 

Post # 8
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

navywifenmooreI am sorry you have to go through all the pain, it musts be extremely hard. You are so strong !!! I’m glad you are no longer with your ex, dont worry, life will never be good with a person likes him (I have an uncle likes him, and at the end of the date, my uncle has no family, no one cares for him, even his wifes and children). I agree with others that you should seek councelling to get rid of all the grief, especially the abortion part, I dont think it’s your fault, if I were in your shoes, I would do the same thing. 

Post # 9
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

One more vote for counseling, ASAP. You’ve got some grief, anger, and post-traumatic stuff to work through.

Post # 10
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@navywifenmoore:  Definitely seek a counselor! I promise they can help you with this tough time that you are going through. Also, there shouldn’t be ANY reasons why you won’t be able to conceive because of the abortion so don’t worry about that. I think you made the right choice and are just dealing with emotions that are totally normal. Hang in there and just know that you are in NO way a bad person. It will get better 🙂

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