(Closed) Am I obligated to include her?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
295 posts
Helper bee

You definitely aren’t obligated to have her in your wedding. Your bridal party should be made of your nearest and dearest. If you don’t want to ask her, don’t. And don’t let other people try to guilt you into it. 

Post # 4
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

I think I would have to base my answer with more information.

Has she made any progress with her life, such as going to therapy, making progress on her depression and suicidal thoughts?  Do you have many mutual friends? (probably not bc she’s socially awkward?) Do you keep in touch with her?  

I suppose if you are not still keeping in touch with her, then no, people lose touch and our interests change all the time.


Post # 5
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would not ask her.

Post # 6
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Mademoiselle-G:  If you’re not close (in your eyes) then you are not obligated to make her your maid of honour, or even bridesmaid. That’s what I think, anyways Smile

Post # 7
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You ever watch NCIS?  Listen to your gut – it’s something they say all the time on that show!!  And clearly your gut is telling you not to

Read what you said:

“I feel like asking her to be in the wedding would add a lot of extra stress to my plate.”

So there you go.  You don’t want it.   Then don’t do it.  Your gut tells you no for a good reason!!!

Do not feel bad, it’s your day.  I have 4 ladies in my party, and I don’t expect any of them to ask me to be in their wedding.  Do what makes you happy!

Post # 8
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

There is no way to equalize the including of people in each others’ weddings. Make the day about celebrating your relationship; I wouldn’t even bring it up to anyone else!

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