(Closed) Am I obligated to make her a bridesmaid?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think you’re wrong at all. She just wants to be in the wedding to be in it and get things from it. I think you have the right mind about who to be with you on your special day 

Post # 5
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

No way!

Post # 6
Member
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would only include those you want to. I’m sure her feelings will be hurt, but you only want girls around you who you are close to and who have stood beside you. Also, many of your girls are family (Sis, SIL, Future Sister-In-Law, and cousin). I do think I would be honest with her sooner than later so that she isn’t hinting and guessing for a long time.

Post # 7
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

No. You are never obligated to make someone part of your wedding party—ever.  Your friend sounds like a former best friend now acquaintence of mine—spooky!

Post # 8
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I say you do not have to ask her to be a bridesmaid. Sounds like from her flighty past behavior, she would be more of a burden than a blessing anyways. You need to ask the women that support you and love you and I say it starts with family first. You’ve already got a good handle on that. I think your gals sound perfect!

Post # 9
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Nope.  If you don’t want her, don’t ask her!  These boards are filled with the drama that bridesmaids can cause, and I’d try everything possible to avoid that.  I’ve been in about 6 weddings, and none of those women are in mine.  Not because I don’t love them, but we’re just having family in the bridal party in order to simplify things.  And none of them have gotten their feelings hurt – they understand, you know?  Or, they will if they just want you to be happy. 

Post # 10
Member
521 posts
Busy bee

Please don’t ask her to be part of your special day. She’ll suck the life out of it, IMO.

Post # 11
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

No, you aren’t obligated to have her as your bridesmaid.  Next time she asks, tell her who your bridesmaids are.  If she pouts explain that while you value her friendship, your wedding party has already been decided. 

Post # 12
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

No prob, I’m struggling with BMs right now lol be very very very glad you have so many close girls you can count on. 

 

Post # 13
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t think you’re obligated whatsoever. Tell her that you’re keeping the bridal party to mainly family. If you feel like you need to include her somewhere she could do guest book or cake. Things change though, There are plenty of people who have been bridesmaids that did not use everyone she had a connection like that with. It’s your day so you should have the people you currently have that closeness with and if you’re using mainly family that helps because you can use that as an excuse 😉

Post # 14
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

No I wouldn’t ask her.  It sounds like she’s not a terribly good friend anyway.  (And perhaps you wouldn’ be distraught if she say…got upset over not being asked and disappeared from your life for years to come?)

Post # 15
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

No way!!!!!!

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