Post # 1
Hi all, I wasn’t going to post but I seriously have ZERO people to talk to about this so I need to vent or I just might blow up. So my family has been invited to a family friend’s daughter’s wedding in NY later on this year. My parents kept asking if my boyfriend (5 years together) is coming. I said I don’t know if he will, but after much asking I finally just said yes he’s coming. It’s not a big deal to either of us if he goes or not, but whatever.
So my sister finds out that he’s agreed to come, we’re paying for our own room and his flight, and she has a huge hissy fit as to why he’s coming. She said that she was going to be the third wheel and that this wedding isn’t a big deal and I’m making it one by bringing him. She said this all while yelling btw. I told her (without yelling back though I wanted to) that we’re never trying to make her a third wheel and we always try to include her in stuff (which is totally true, she turns us down).
I have no patience for her anymore. In five years she has NEVER supported our relationship, only wanted herself to be happy, even when I told her we were going to be engaged at some point this year, nothing. No reaction whatsoever except to talk about me behind my back. Now she won’t talk to me.
I don’t feel the need to speak with her as I feel I have done nothing wrong. I have always conducted my plans to appease her will, and I’m sick of it. Why should SHE decide who gets to come on the trip, whether it’s important or not?? Who do you feel is being unreasonable. Me or my sister? I guess I am just looking for peace of mind because I am sick of her always getting her way.
Post # 4
She is being unreasonable, he was invited. End of story.
Post # 5
There’s always one of these in every family….luckily my brain has started to produce a chemical that blocks out the sound of her voice…it’s awesome!
Post # 7
What? I don’t see how she even decided to complain about this… Also, this: “this wedding isn’t a big deal and I’m making it one by bringing him” doesn’t make any sense as a grievance. Just ignore her. How old is she?
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2012 - Iowa
Sounds like she’s just jeolous of your relationship and possibly the fact that she doesn’t have one? If she’s single she probably doesn’t realize what its like from your point of view. Let her throw her hissy fit, she’s going to have to get over it and mature a bit.
Post # 10
She’s 21, a grown up in my eyes. You’re totally right. She is making it a big deal by behaving this way. I would never do this to her if she had a boyfriend.
Share the special juice please! lol I wish I could ignore her, my parents raised her to get anything she wants after throwing a tantrum *cough cough*
Post # 12
Your sister is being unreasonable. She is making it about her and taking away from the joy of it, which is too bad. I would say don’t get involved in fights with her etc.. its attention she doesnt deserve to warrant such a non issue. He is coming, final decision and if she feels so upset, she can hang out with your parents or bring her own date (I’m assuming). Best of luck! 🙂
Post # 13
Yeah…I don’t know how…and I don’t get why parents do that…but there’s four of us, so I get it if they just wanted her to shut up…she’s the one who looks like an ass, not me
Post # 14
Haha that made me laugh, thanks so much.
I have a feeling it has something to do with her not having a bf, but that isn’t my fault, I can’t help that. She never gives guys a chance and doesn’t give off really friendly vibes so it’s her own fault. It’s like she wants me to be miserable with her or something. Never happy for me when I’m happy.
You’re right, I’m not engaging with her at all. I have so much in my life going on right now I don’t need this from her.
Post # 15
I think you are more than fine in bringing your boyfriend, but you might want to step bcak and think about why she might really be saying those things (even if it is in a childish way). She probably feels like her relationship with you is changing. I know there was defiantely an adjustment time for my family, even though they loved DH from the start and always welcomed him, but it does change things. I know my sisters felt kind of weird when we would be at family functions knowing that we would usually be hanging out in our small family and then had to get use to DH being there all the time, especially if they weren’t involved in a relationship.
At some point she will need to get over it. I know that when we had family functions coming up I would try to get time before hand to talk with my sisters, just girl time without DH.
Post # 16
That’s a very good point, and about a year ago we did talk about that. She did feel like I was neglecting the family. So I made sure to make time for just us and our parents, and girl time too. But honestly our relationship at this age is 10 times better than before. We take girl trips, I do her nails, but I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’ve tried my best to make her comfortable but it’s never enough.