(Closed) Am I Over Reacting?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry, I think you’re overreacting :

Post # 4
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@blue44:  It doesn’t seem like flirting to me, it seems like annoying banter.  If he was really into having some big text conversation with her, she wouldn’t be commenting that he was quiet.  I think you are overreacting because you don’t like this person.

Also, you should really consider where the feelings are stemming from about checking his private texts if you feel you shouldn’t be. Food for thought.

Post # 5
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Seems innocent to me – I’m sure Darling Husband wouldn’t appreciate you going through his phone. I might make an effort to get to know Mary better at work functions… keep your enemies close and all that.

Post # 6
Member
6222 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Yeah, overreacting. It’s not like he complained about being married or something like that.  Honestly that sounds like a conversation he could have had with a guy friend, I don’t think it’s flirting

Post # 7
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Overreacting, sorry. If she stated that he was so quiet he obviously isn’t really into texting her. It seems she is initiating the conversation from what you posted, and it sounds like he is just texting her back to be nice.

Post # 8
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t think it’s flirting, but it is crossing the professional line and inappropriate.

Post # 9
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

yeah definitely overreacting.

Post # 10
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@blue44:  Sounds like she’s attempting to flirt and he’s annoyed by her!  I wouldn’t worry about it.  He probably thinks not responding would make things awkward in the workplace so he humors her.

Post # 11
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you’re over-reacting. I don’t know… given that your husband is aware that you’re not too keen on her, then I think it’s a little inappropriate/irritating that he engaged in this kind of banter with her. If I was in your sit, I would come clean with him and tell him that you snooped, that you’re sorry, but that what you found made you uncomfortable because you don’t particularly like her. But essentially, I agree with the poster who said that she’s trying to flirt with him, but that it’s innocent  on his part. I don’t think that you have anything to worry about here.

Post # 12
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This seems harmless.  She even brought up your marriage in conversation, and I think if she were flirting, she would have avoided that topic.  I work with mostly men and this is similar to the conversations I have with them.  Smile

Post # 13
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@blue44:   I don’t think you are over-reacting.  It makes no sense to me why this person, Mary, needs to text your husband on his personal cell phone.  Sounds like flirting to me, sorry.  I really wouldn’t like it if some random female co-worker texted my husband anything, really.  Work should stay at work.  They aren’t friends, they’re just co-workers. 

She’s trying to develop a relationship with him beyond the professional.  That’s not acceptable unless you both are ok with having new opposite sex friends being part of your marriage and friends with BOTH of you.  If both of you are in agreement with that, fine.  But it doesn’t sound like you consider this woman one of your friends.

Also, yep, the comment she made about “marriage trained ya already,” sounds to me like you’re right, she is a b*tch and trying to start something.

Here is what I would do:  I would tell him what you told us – that you checked his phone innocently and ran across that conversation.  Ask him if he would want you doing the same thing with some random guy you work with.  Chances are he wouldn’t feel very comfortable with you texting back and forth and borderline flirting with one of your male co-workers. 

He hasn’t crossed the line with Mary yet, but she is pushing for him to.  She should be texting her own man, not your husband.

Post # 14
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You’re overreacting.  I doubt you would have been upset had the same text convo went on between him and a male co-worker.  It sounds like they have a friendly relationship.  It’s nice to have friends at work…makes it more tolerable most days.

Post # 15
Member
5800 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

meh, sounds like some of the conversations I have with my male coworkers.

Post # 16
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You know your guy. Is that his way of being flirty?? With my Fiance that would mean nothing. However he would think its inappropriate to chit chat with someone I didn’t like. But anyway with another guy it could be how he flirts. So it comes down to what kind of guy is your DH? 

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