- 11 months ago
Regular bee going anon for this. So my husband mother has been staying with us. She lives in another country and visits once a year. My husband and I got into a fight today because he took her shopping today which I did not know they were going and then he said he did not spend a lot of money and later I found out that he bought her a laptop. Now initially my husband paid for his mom ticket to come here without as much as telling me and I did not say anything, since she has been here he has paid for food, sightseeing, a little bit of whatever from store like hair product, special foods I did not say a word and I did not care. Today they went shopping and he must have spent more then 400$ he would not tell me exactly how much. I’m not saying not to spend money on your mom but at least I deserve to know. His mom and family don’t really have a lot of money neither do we. We recently got jobs but I have a lot of student loans and so does he. We have just started saving money after paying credit card debt and he does not even have 2000$ saved. In the past even before we got married I have had to loan him money multiple times because something happened and he had no savings but I’m tired of him not thinking sensibly. Hopefully there will be a day when we can do more of our families financially but right now we have to think about our own savings. While in large scheme of things what he spent is not a big deal it’s the fact that one he did not even bother talking to me about it, when I asked about it he said o I did not spend a lot of money which I mean even more then a 100$ is a lot of money to us (I did not get to see what they bought because his mom took it to her room right away) and when I asked him about it later in private he said I have no right to say anything about what he does for his family. Now we do Keep our finances separate because he wants to and I have no knowledge of his finances which also bothers me. Am I overreacting? I get it that it’s his mom and he sees her once a year and they don’t have a lot of money but I think I deserve a heads up. He also sends his mom money without telling me, it’s never usually over 100$ but only way I find out is if I find the paperwork and so I don’t know how often and if I bring it up he acts like I’m overstepping my boundaries.