Post # 1
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Ok usually I don’t question my emotions, but this time I’m even confusing myself. DH’s bff, who lives in California (we live in CT) is here on business. He came in on Sunday night and I cooked us all an amazing dinner. He showed up an hour late. I adjusted because he had just flown in and what not. However, we went out to Cali for a week in March, and he was inconsiderate of our time as well. He was late for dinner at their house so we hung out with his wife until he showed up. He then got on a phone call during dessert and was late to meet us out one night for dinner. So late that we lost our reservation. He blamed work, but we used to work for the same organization (obviously accross the country) and I’m hire up than him. You can take a break dude for dinner. Your job is a cake walk.
Anywho, so tonight is his last night here. On Monday he asked for us to join him for dinner and I explained that I might get stuck at work late. He insisted and so I agreed. They wanted to dinner at six and normally I would work past that. So I had my assistant rearrange my entire day. At 5pm DH texts me and tells me that they are going to meet some guy they used to work with first for a drink. Honestly, I was a little annoyed, but figured it would allow me to get a little work done. At 7 I text DH and he tells me that his friend invited a bunch of people out and that it would just be a little longer. I was starving. I finally left work and got myself dinner. At 8:45 DH texts me and tells me where to meet him for dinner. I told him I ate and I was home for the night. Now DH is mad at me because his friend isn’t out here that often, but honestly, I feel like people who are late are super inconsiderate. I feel like they think their time is more important than others, and I don’t give a crap who you are or where your from 3 hours late is freaking crazy! Am I wrong here?
Post # 3
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all, and I’d probably feel the same way in your situation. You said your hubby’s friend wanted to do dinner at 6, but you don’t hear anything definitive till 8:45? As in almost three hours after your original plans? You could have eaten a nice leisurely dinner and still have had time to go home and relax! I don’t think I would get into it with the friend or anything–yes, it’s his prerogative to be late–but he can’t expect you to just sit around and wait for him and constantly rearrange your life for him. He is being inconsiderate, and missing out on dinner with you is one of the consequences of his lateness.
Post # 4
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@T.R.Bride: I would never say anything to the friend. That’s not my deal at all. Hubby though doesn’t understand why it bothers me. “Oh, you know he operates on his own time.” That’s a super ridiculous statement. He felt as though I should have waited fro them. Ugh.
Post # 5
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
I am someone who often runs “on my own time”. And if I am running late I fully expect people to leave without me, order dinner, etc. It isn’t their fault I tell time worse than a 5 year old. Anything else is just selfish.
Post # 6
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
You did the right thing. It’s his perogative to be late. It’s your perogative to eat when you are hungry and not be held up after re-arranging your schedule. You weren’t being inflexible. If it was a one-time thing, that’s a different story — but it’s not.
Post # 7
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
@mwitter80: That was super inconsiderate of them! I don’t blame you for getting your own dinner and going home!
Post # 8
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
@mwitter80: Noo, you really aren’t. I’m okay with friends being 10-15 minutes late but more than an hour? Hell no. I think your DH is overreacting. You’ve seemed to go along with waiting on his rude friend for quite awhile.
The call during desert sounds fine to me though. Since it’s at the end of a meal then it wouldn’t offend me. Though he does sound inconsiderate/a little self-centered from the rest of it.
Can I just add, I really hate when I’m talking to a friend at a restaurant, and they get a phone call BUT they don’t say, “hey can I take this?”, instead they just answer their phone in the middle of what I am saying and I look like an idiot when my conversation with them just trails off into me mumbling…I can’t stand it. Or worse, when they TEXT while I am talking to them about something important.
Post # 9
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Heatherloveskenny: what annoyed me about the dessert piece was the 3 of us, DH, his wife, and myself ordered dessert and ate it. Then when he came back he acted surprised that we did this without him. Then he ordered dessert and we all watched him. We had another drink so not a big deal, but dude you took the call, now you don’t get chocolate.
Post # 10
Member
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
Yeah, he sounds like an ass. I would be annoyed too…waiting on someone that often? Bleh. And DH is just defending him? That’s weird, your DH must be pretty easy going to deal with that and not speak up.
Post # 11
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Heatherloveskenny: DH is super laid back about everything. He doesn’t feel the need to hold anyone accountable. I fight our battles, but usually this works for us.
Post # 12
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee
No, I don’t believe you’re over-reacting. I find it was inconsiderate on their part. Just because someone else operates on their own time doesn’t mean everyone else has to wait around for them. Sorry, but this impatient lady doesn’t wait for anyone.
Post # 13
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
He can be as late as he wants to be. Doesn’t mean that you have to adjust your life around him. And seems like to me that his reasons for being late are pretty stupid. I would understand if it’s out of your character to be late, but you were late because your car broken down, there was a huge accident somewhere, etc. But he’s just late for the heck of being late. TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!! There are people floating around on this Earth thinking that everyone else always has enough time on their hands to cater to these persons’ needs.
Post # 14
Member
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Personally I would be irritated if he was late, but if its my FI’s friend from out of town I would still go. Its just nice to be nice. I would have had a small snack and then still go out for dinner and ordered something small. Going home and skipping the dinner would definitely make my Fiance mad, and it would make me mad too if the roles were reversed.
Post # 15
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@bells: Oh don’t worry bells. I’m not the one in trouble. DH came home at 2am, smelling of booze and strippers. Not his finest moment, let me tell you. I could have cared less, because it’s his BFF that he sees 2-3 times per year. However, the BFF is in serious trouble with his wife, because he isn’t “allowed” to go to strip clubs. Karma at it’s best LOL.