(Closed) Am I over-reacting????

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
5554 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think quitting a job counts as something to tell your SO, even if it is one of two, so I would be irritated too. Not about the quitting since he does still have A job, but the not telling is not cool. 

Post # 5
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why would him quitting a job NOT be a big deal? Did you really tell him that wasn’t a big deal?

If you have bills to pay, are saving up, etc….not cool. It’s never ok to quit a job without having one lined up unless your safety is in danger, IMO. Once we have kids, a mortgage, etc, it’s an even bigger deal.

Marriage means you’re in it all together – his choices impact your immediate futures.

Post # 6
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think I would be a little miffed that he didn’t tell me, but it’s not like he quit his ONLY job. I would tell him that you’d like to be told about major decisions like this in the future and move on.

Post # 7
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Were they doing contract work for two different flooring suppliers or actually full time employees at two separate stores?  If it’s the first then I wouldn’t worry too much about it, the contractors sometimes bounce between companies that they will or won’t hire out for.  If it’s the second, then yeah, it should have come up.

Post # 8
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

I wonder, are he and his brothers self employeed? Was this more of an account that they handle or was it an actual job? When did they quit?

Post # 10
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Y’all live together? If so, then 100% he needs to tell you about something affecting the finances. My fiance tries not to tell me stuff either, and acts the same way yours does. It’s aggravating, and it does make me think of whether I can sustain a marriage while in the dark about important things.

I might be overly sensitive, but sometimes, I think he does it on purpose to withhold information that he thinks I will want to know. 

Post # 12
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.  If they are taking work from both companies, then chances are they’ve been turning down work from at least one, maybe both of the stores/shops/whatever.  He probably should have mentioned it in passing, but I don’t think it’s a crisis.

He didn’t change jobs, he changed which clients he will perform work for.  Previously he subbed out for two, now one.  I think it’s a positive that he and his family are so good at what they do that they have the ability to turn down work and pick who they will perform work for.  That speaks very well to the quality and workmanship that they do.

Post # 14
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Maybe you’re mostly bothered that you found out from someone else instead of him. I would definitely tell him that you want him to share those things with you from now on. Maybe he just didn’t think about it.

He’s going to do a million stupid things so you have plenty of time to be mad when you’re married.

Post # 15
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Curly W:  I work in the construction industry and for flooring and finish stores/vendors they typically have two ways of running it– either keeping full time employees that are on the payroll or sending out the installation to knowledgeable installers that will bounce between the companies which is why I was curious about the situation with your FI and FILs.  The better the installer the more flexibility they have in choosing which companies they will associate with.  For my job I often times end up choosing certain companies to hire to perform work based on their relationships with the contractors (which is sometimes a pain to remember who is currently taking work from whom).

I agree that it should have been brought up because it’s something going on with work that you would want to know, but I can also see why it didn’t occur to him to bring it up.  Point of improvement for him to work on, but definitely not a bad thing.  Anyway, I hope this maybe helps with why he might not have thought to mention it.

Post # 16
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would be pretty annoyed if my FI didn’t tell me he quit a job, even if it wasn’t making much.  I don’t think you are over reacting a bit and totally deserve to be upset.  It’s not a deal breaker, I guess sometimes guys are clueless about what we want to hear about!  I found out that my FI has been on the some committee his work an has been the elected secretary for two years, and he never told me.  Its not a big deal, but I would liked to have been proud of him or something, lol.  He told me the other day, but only because it was the end of his term. 

 

Men just aren’t sharers like us.  We don’t care if he cares what the dog did today, we are telling him anyways. 

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