Am I over reacting? Mother of the groom dress

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
1617 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

I personally wouldn’t be bothered by the dress, I think they look different enough and the MOG dress doesn’t look bridal at all. You’ll still be the star of the show and it’s not a bright color so your eye won’t be drawn to that dress as opposed to yours in pictures.

BUT. I would be quite bothered if my SIL bought her mom a dress for my wedding that I specifically told her I did not like.

Post # 3
1153 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

I think you are overreacting.  No one will mistake her as the bride.  I would think for pictures the colors blending will look a lot better than other color choices she could have chosen. 

I do have an issue with SIL buying the dress after you told her you didn’t like it.  But, if her mother looked good in and felt good in it, she probably thought it was better to buy one that her mother liked.  She’s the one wearing it.   

The surprise thing would bother me also, along with SIL sending you the picture.  Is she stirring the pot?

Post # 4
1155 posts
Bumble bee

It’s fine. No one actually cares about this stuff, in spite of what people say on this site. My stepmom wore a long white sweater thingy over her dress, and it doesn’t actually matter. There are bigger fish to fry not only in life but in your wedding. And… you said her dress h as GOLD in it? That’s not bridal. Also, I’m sure she’s old and is obviously a mom and not the bride, and no one will care a whit. 

Post # 5
518 posts
Busy bee

I dont think youre overreacting at all…I’d be upset to, but my fmil would do something like this just to make me upset!

Do you think this is done on purpose?  Tbh id get your fiance to say something to her about it if it bothers you!

Post # 6
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, you are overreacting. The bride doesn’t get to tell people not in the wedding party, what to wear. Champagne gold is a very popular choice for MOB’s and MOG’s. The only color they need to avoid is white and maybe ivory.

Brides are wearing pink, blue, lavender, light green, florals etc. It’s unrealistic to keep extending the list of what others can’t wear.

Post # 7
3381 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Beige/Gold (champagne) is the traditional MOG colour and not the same thing as blush. To be honest even if she was wearing blush I don’t think you could be that mad. The rule is don’t wear white, I think as PP said its unrealistic to extend the rules to veto every other light colour. I mean, its kind of rude that she went ahead and bought it even though you told her not to, but I also think its rude that you tried to tell her what to wear in the first place. On your wedding day I promise you will be thinking about a million other things, not this. 

Post # 8
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Well, at least she will go with the color scheme of your wedding I guess.  Your SIL is a jerk for doing something you asked her not to do.  But I think the dress will be fine.  It will be classier to let it go at this point.  If you say something to Mother-In-Law then you become the jerk instead of SIL.  I don’t think it really looks bridal.

Post # 9
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I would never tell my future mother in law what she could or could not wear. I find it disrespectful, but I come from a very old school idea of strongly respecting your parents. Unless it was something completely off the wall where it would be inappropriate or offensive (a bikini? T-shirt with swear words?) I wouldn’t have the nerve to ask my mother in law to not buy a dress she liked and felt good in. I don’t mean to sound rude towards you.  I just think you should reassess if this is worth possibly offending or upsetting future family over. 

Post # 10
5740 posts
Bee Keeper

Please grow up. Adults are entitled to dress themselves as they please. Being a bride does not give you some special veto power. Your post screams insecurity and the need to be oh so special. Do you really think people will have trouble distinguishing you as the bride?

Post # 11
1198 posts
Bumble bee

You don’t get to tell a grown woman what to wear—- especially the woman who raised your fiancée. 

Whats the actual harm? Nobody will think she’s the bride. If they would as in they literally don’t know who is getting married —- why are they at your wedding? 

What possible right would you have to tell other people what they put on their bodies—-especially when they are wearing appropriately fancy clothes?

Post # 12
5641 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Yes, you’re overreacting

Post # 13
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Yes… overreacting. It’ll be okay. Looks kind of like a bm dress to me. 

Post # 14
249 posts
Helper bee

I too think you are overreacting.  If you wear a blush wedding dress, you cant be upset if other guests wear the same color.  My mom wore a champagne floral gown and it looked very pretty next to my blush dress.  No one mistook my mother for me 

It could always be worse.  My mother in law wanted to wear a beaded, white wedding dress with a train from the bridal section to my wedding.  I did object to the dress, but it was an actual wedding dress.  Your MILs dress will look pretty in the photos and is tasteful.  

Post # 15
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2000

Sorry…gotta agree…way overreacting. 1) Find it incredibly disrespectful to actually TELL her you don’t like it.  Bitch to your friends but you’re not wearing it.  2) Your fiancé REALLY has an opinion on the dress?  I find that hard to believe.  Most guys don’t give a crap.  I, personally, think you’re projecting onto him.  Pick your battles…this isn’t one.

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