(Closed) Am I over reacting? My fiance has admitted this to me

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 31
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

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Sierrap93:  Your pictures are still though….porn is movement and sound.You are overreacting. Its not cheating, and him watching this is no reflection on how he feels for you, or how he will feel for you. Married and single men(and women!!!) watch porn. Most of the time my friends tell me they watch the stuff they are afraid to ask their woman for, or to learn new tips and tricks. Dont sweat it.

As long as its not a porn ADDICTION like some men have and it takes away from your activity in the bedroom, youre fine

Post # 32
Member
47 posts
Newbee

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BridalBeckyBee:  Woah. I’m fine with the belief that sex should be saved for your husband or your wife, I think that’s actually very sweet.

 

But porn and maturation are perfectly healthy. I watch porn occasionally as does my other half, and it only intensifies our physical relationship. And neither of us are addicted or over-sexualised. That’s just poppycock!

 

Everybody is entitled to an opinion as are you, I only struggle listening to/reading things like this because I worry about the same mentality being passed through the generations. Porn and masturbation are a healthy aspect of growing up and developing. Watching porn is not sex. Masturbating to porn is not sex. It is a very private thing (that you do alone or with your partner) that everyone should be entitled to but nobody should be made to feel ashamed of.

Post # 33
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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Sierrap93:  I once read, you don’t watch a comedian and think about how much funnier they are than you SO or expect your SO to be as funny as s comedian. It’s the same with sex. Yes people find porn enjoyable. But so long as he doesn’t think that stuff is real. And he’s not watching it INSTEAD of having sex, I wouldn’t worry about it 

Post # 34
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Lots of people watch porn. I don’t see the big deal.

HOWEVER, there is a much bigger issue here… you said you sent him photos of yourself, OP?

– If the photos you sent him were normal photos of you fully clothed, then porn obviously fulfils a very different visual need for him. In this case, you can hardly complain if he uses porn.

– If you sent him kinky photos of yourself, you need to get those photos back NOW and destroy them. Photos like that have a nasty way of following you through life… ending up on the internet… etc etc.

Post # 35
Member
47 posts
Newbee

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Rachel631:  There’s nothing wrong with sending the odd sexy picture of yourself to the person you love, providing you are in a committed and exclusive long term relationship where there is trust. It’s fun!

I would recommend to anybody though to make sure the pictures can’t fall in to the wrong hands (password protection on your phone etc) or just don’t include your face.

I love that my man has pictures of me. It’s intimate, he can look at them any time he likes. And there are plenty of dirtier/raunchier/sluttier pictures on the internet than the ones of me owned by my fella, I don’t think anybody would give two hoots about my bod really! 

Post # 36
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

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CakeGirl:  I disagree. Those pics… are they accidentally saved on your phone memory when you access an email? What happens if your phone breaks, or you have to pay for data recovery on your laptop or phone after damage? What happens if you access an email with an attachment on a work email, or backup phone data on a work laptop, or a laptop or a phone you later resell? What happens if someone else borrows your laptop, and then their friends decide to take a peek?

This is before we even go over the obvious… computer hackers, scorned exes, or scorned exes of current partners who are looking for dirt and would be happy to make these things public. And if you accidentally save these online through the use of electronic backups which automatically copy your data (phones, laptops, the lot) do you know who owns the copyright on those images? Because it might not be you. I’m talking about very common automatic data backups such as online clouds here.

Your data is not safe. I would not recommend that you have anything, anywhere, at any time, which might embarass you if your grandmother, your boss, your landlord, or the authorities were to see it.

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