Post # 1
this story involves a bit of back ground information, bear with me. Fiance and his best man have been mates for a long time, he a lovely guy but his gf isnt so lovely. She has cheated on him 5 times, that he knows of, my Fiance and i have even caught her in the act ourselves! He always takes her back though. So we got engaged and one week later best man proposes to the cheater (thats what we will call her) cheater accepts but does not want to set a date till shes older. 6 months later, Fiance and i set our wedding date, one week later best man and cheater set there, exactly a month after ours! At that stage im thinking it was a coincidence. Last week best man and cheater travelled to where we live to (30 minute trip) to get fitted for his suit for our wedding. Whilst we are there cheater decides she will use the same suits for her wedding that we are using. then she decided she will use the same shoes, shirts and colours for ties! Im getting a bit annoyed at this stage but for fi sake and my own sanity i let it go and pass it off as flattery. Last night cheater rings Fiance and requests that he throws best man his bucks night, a four day camping trip. The date she gave is the week leading up to our wedding, he would return friday night for our werdding saturday. Fi insists that he can not do it that day, he has to set up marquees, etc for the wedding. Cheater gets upset and says that what he fiancee wants and thats when he wants it. Fiance tries to offer alternate dates, activities. Cheater gets upset and tells him surely setting up for a wedding cant be hard and why can i set everything up. Im at the point now where im really annoyed, they are making things very difficult, thought id vent my frustration here, does anyone have any words of wisdom/ideas to stop me saying something i will regret??
Post # 3
oh my goodness, what a hostile little b*itch… well obviously your fi can NOT accomodate her requests and he just needs to put her in her place. That is a totally unreasonable, ridiculous thing to ask of him and I’m getting mad thinking about it. I don’t understand why your fi’s friend is marrying her, doesn’t he understand that this woman cannot be trusted… I mean she cheated on him five times. Does he not have any self-respect? She treats him like crap and now she’s treating you and your fi like crap. If I knew her I would have some very strong words for her.
Post # 4
OMG!! I wouldn’t know what to do either. I would be fuming. I wouldn’t know if I should say something to her, or if I would just vent to my Fiance a lot. I think he is being a little …you know what. Can I ask how old she is?? She seems to be VERY immature.
Post # 5
I agree that you have to put your foot down. If your best man is really your FI’s friend he would understand about the timing.
Maybe they could have a shorter trip and still go that week if the timing of that week is so important to best man? That compromise would be INCREDIBLY gracious of you (if you could accommodate that) and would still give you the help you need from Fiance in the days right before the wedding. But the week prior would probably be better.
I think this is a matter that your Fiance needs to settle with his best man and his best man needs to put his foot down to the fiancee.
Post # 6
It sounds like your Fiance is handling the situation well. Hopefully, he’s not reconsidering what he told her. If she wants to rant about it, so be it. Just let her be and try to get as FAR away from her planning as possible (ie: don’t entertain people telling you about it, etc.) The less you know the better off you’ll be.
This is a bit off topic, but I’m curious what Fiance thinks of his buddy’s behavior in taking cheater back…
Post # 7
What a b. If I were your Fiance I would call up my friend and arrange directly with him, avoid her and her stuipdity.
Post # 8
Why is cheater talking for best man?
I am not so sure I believe that these are best man’s wishes!!!
I say get Fiance to call best man and work it out – guys can do this themselves – cheater doesn’t have to be the go between!
And I would make sure your Fiance stays strong in what he wants – best mans buck is NOT more important than FI’s wedding!!!!!
Post # 9
I can’t imagine that best man would want to go on a camping trip and come back the day before the wedding that he is the best man in. What about a rehearsal? What about common sense?! It sounds like cheater is trying to drive you crazy! I also want to know why cheater is talking for best man… it’s not her business when the buck is.
Post # 10
thanku all for your help, i dont feel like im being a whinger anymore. Lol . Fi thinks he is a absolute idiot for taking her back and says she cannot be trusted. He finds it hard being a best man at a wedding where he knows it will never work. They constantly break up, get back togeather and they dont seem to have much love for each other at all. RMW61111, she is 20, which probably has a lot to do with the immaturity. lol this one makes me laugh, cheater also paired my Fiance with his ex in the bridal party. She is having for bridesmaids so i assume she has done that intentionally but that one i giggle at. I think i will get Fiance to ring him and arrange it directly with the best man. I will attempt to hold my tounge but i doubt it will happen. Thanku all for your advice, you are all smart women.
Post # 11
cheater just wants to ruin things i think. Yea a rehearsal would be handy and there are marquees to be set up, bar to be set up, decorations! we are having a outdoor reception at my mums estate so there is a lot to do.
Post # 12
I would have your fiance talk to the best man directly about what he wants and avoid the cheater as much as possible. Don’t worry about her copying your wedding, since yours is first! It’s not worth the headache. Unless she talks to you directly, I’d stay out of it and let your fiance handle it.
Post # 13
geez… she paired him with his ex? that is just so disrespectful. Does your fi really need to be in this wedding? We all want to support our friends, but part of being a TRUE friend is telling someone when they are royally messing up.
Post # 14
OMG she is nuts. I think that your Fiance needs to deal with her and tell best man to make her pipe down.
Post # 15
I agree with the previous posters. She is crazy and just plain mean. Your Fiance needs to talk to his friend directly and explain why he can’t go camping the weekend before your wedding. If this guy is a friend, he will completely understand.
Post # 16
I don’t have a problem with their setting their wedding a month after yours. And I don’t have a problem with their using the same groomsmen outfits since their wedding is second, and any judgement would be made on them, not you (and believe me there will be so much judgement at their wedding that no one will notice what the groomsmen are wearing). It’s a stupid decision on the slutty bride’s part, but it won’t reflect poorly on you in the slightest.
But it is completely unacceptable for the slutty bride to tell your husband he needs to organize a bachelor party the week before his own wedding. They knew your wedding date when they set their wedding date; when they chose that date they chose the consequence of the best man having limited time to assist with their wedding.
I completely agree with the previous poster who said that your Fiance should speak to the groom directly to plan the bachelor party. If he is sane, he won’t expect his friend to miss the days before his wedding. If he isn’t, then frankly he isn’t much of a friend and considering what a pain the slutty bride is, you really don’t need this kind of aggravation in your life.