(Closed) Am I overreacting?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Am I overreacting about this dress skirt?
    No, it was not what you asked for and you have the right to be upset! : (15 votes)
    48 %
    Yes, I'm sure it will look right in the end. : (16 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Your in the right…it looks nothing like your vision…..I see your point!

    Post # 4
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    nothing like your vision…. wow… maybe you could resend the inspiration photos and explain exactly what’s wrong with what she sent…..

    I would have been hysterical too. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    well your reaction of spouting comments that shouldn’t be repeated and crying hysterically is definitely going overboard i think.  i wouldn’t react like unless someone died or i caught Fiance cheating on me!   but i do see why you are upset about the dresses.  the skirt is not nearly as full as your inspiration.  if she is sending you the dress half finished, maybe she was also looking for your feedback so she can fix it before its finished?  why don’t just tell her thats it not what you want and please try again and see what she comes up with.   i don’t think you have to buy if you are not satisifed with the results.

    oh and i realized the color is not grey?  maybe this is just the layer that goes UNDER the skirt??  i would ask her that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Well, I really doubt that is the “finished” skirt, so yeah I do kind of think that’s an over-reaction. I mean, that’s see-thru. I’m fairly certain she’s not expecting your BMs to wear nothing. Just communicate to her how many layers you want, etc.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    It’s hard to say if you’re over reacting without knowing what her intent was with sending the photo, or what her timeline for finishing the dresses is.

    Is that just the progress she’s made so far, on an underskirt? Or is it part of a finished product? (Obviously not finished-finished, since there’s no bodice.)

    If she still has a while to work on the dresses and you were pressing for photos, she may have just sent what she had done, you know? At this point, she has plenty of time to make the changes you’ll specify – at least double the fullness of the skirt, and use a darker color for the outer layers (or all) of the skirt.

    The color is my biggest concern; did you pick out fabric samples with her in person or approve the fabric ahead of time? I think you should definitely do that before she does any further work, if the color isn’t what you wanted.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1851 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I personally think you went a little overboard. It doesn’t look like what you want, so be an adult about it and call/e-mail the seamstress and express your concerns with her. Getting hysterical and crying about it and saying nasty things is never okay unless you’ve exhausted all options and just can’t help it. I hope you don’t think I’m being rude. I’m sure you’re just really stressed right now, but I know if one of my friends was acting like that (or if I was acting like that…I’m no saint), I’d want someone to tell me that I was being a little bit extreme. I think that with a few more layers of tulle the skirt could still work out. Just breathe and remember to keep it classy. Smile If you have to question your reaction, then chances are that it wasn’t the right one.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    You have a right to be upset, but “crying hysterically”? My goodness girl, pull yourself together. I’d hate to see what you do in a real crisis.

    I think you’re probably going to be better off hiring someone else who will make what you ask for. It might cost you more, but you’ll get what you’re paying for at least.

    Post # 9
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I didn’t vote but…I kind of agree with PurpleUnicorn.  If this was me, I don’t think I would’ve gotten that upset over it. I wouldve just told her “great for the picture..but thats not what I wanted.  Can you make it more like the pictures that I sent.  Obviously it needs more tulle.”  Everyone has the right to be upset at things but there is a way to be professional and mature about it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    As a fashion designer, I can see the bones of what you asked for in what she sent.  It looks like she needs to add more tulle to the skirt and correct the color.

    Is she doing a sample dress before she does the actual ones?

    Did you help her source the fabric?  Tulle usually doesn’t come in a lot of colors, and I dont think I have ever seen dark gray tulle. It may be possible that she got tulle in a dyable quality and plans to dye the whole thing for consistant color.

    I would call and ask her how she envisions getting what she sent you in the picture to look more like your inspiration in the color that you wanted. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    562 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I don’t think there’s any way she could make a skirt that full without it costing a fortune- if you put a crinoline under it it should look right. It looks like the white dress you posted has a crinoline under it, so she probably assumed you would add that in. Don’t get too upset, it will be poofy. You should probably apologize to your Maid/Matron of Honor for freaking out on her… Dresses, particularly in this stage, are always changeable. You should just email her that you want it poofier and if she can do this or you need crinolines.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    also, if you decide not to go with her, i recommend checking out netbride.com. they carry ALOT of designers and their price quotes are usually in the low $100 range,.  Between myself and another friend, we just ordered about 10 dresses from them and it arrived 3 weeks earlier than the date they guaranteed.  i have also ordered from them a couple of years ago for a wedding i was in and had an equally good experience.

    Post # 13
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    it’s not finished yet – maybe refocusing her on her vision is a good idea, but going ape shit over an unfinished product is overboard.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t think it was appropriate to basically put your Maid/Matron of Honor in the middle of this.  If you have concerns, you should contact the person you hired directly.  I would definitely make sure you act put-together during the conversation and not hysterical.  It sounds like your Maid/Matron of Honor should get a very nice apology too.

    Post # 15
    Member
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Just wanted to say that I hope things work out for you! Could you maybe use a short crinoline underneath the dresses to get the look you wanted? Just something I was thinking about.

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