Post # 1
Hey girls, I’m having a little dilemma with my bridesmaids dresses. I had wanted something really specific so I hired a friend of my Maid/Matron of Honor to make the dresses for my girls. My Maid/Matron of Honor talked her up like crazy and I knew she went to school for fashion design so I thought I had made a good decision. Plus, she’s only charging $150 for custom made dresses.
So, I had told her I wanted a ballerina-esque dress with a bell shaped skirt made mostly of a million yards of tulle and a top with a sweetheart neckline. The color I wanted was a slightly dark gray.
Well, I recieved an e-mail from her today saying she’s finshed the skirt of the first dress. I was beyond excited until I opened the attachment.
These are the inspiration photos that I had given to her.
and this is what was in my email today
Lets just say I flipped my shit! lol I called my Maid/Matron of Honor in a panic and threatened to fire her friend. I accused her of not listening to anything I said and not caring about my vision, only what she thought looked good. I also said a lot of other mean things that really shouldn’t be repeated :/ Did I mention I was crying hysterically during all this? Was this going overboard a bit or was I in the right?
Post # 3
Your in the right…it looks nothing like your vision…..I see your point!
Post # 4
nothing like your vision…. wow… maybe you could resend the inspiration photos and explain exactly what’s wrong with what she sent…..
I would have been hysterical too.
Post # 5
well your reaction of spouting comments that shouldn’t be repeated and crying hysterically is definitely going overboard i think. i wouldn’t react like unless someone died or i caught Fiance cheating on me! but i do see why you are upset about the dresses. the skirt is not nearly as full as your inspiration. if she is sending you the dress half finished, maybe she was also looking for your feedback so she can fix it before its finished? why don’t just tell her thats it not what you want and please try again and see what she comes up with. i don’t think you have to buy if you are not satisifed with the results.
oh and i realized the color is not grey? maybe this is just the layer that goes UNDER the skirt?? i would ask her that.
Post # 6
Well, I really doubt that is the “finished” skirt, so yeah I do kind of think that’s an over-reaction. I mean, that’s see-thru. I’m fairly certain she’s not expecting your BMs to wear nothing. Just communicate to her how many layers you want, etc.
Post # 6
It’s hard to say if you’re over reacting without knowing what her intent was with sending the photo, or what her timeline for finishing the dresses is.
Is that just the progress she’s made so far, on an underskirt? Or is it part of a finished product? (Obviously not finished-finished, since there’s no bodice.)
If she still has a while to work on the dresses and you were pressing for photos, she may have just sent what she had done, you know? At this point, she has plenty of time to make the changes you’ll specify – at least double the fullness of the skirt, and use a darker color for the outer layers (or all) of the skirt.
The color is my biggest concern; did you pick out fabric samples with her in person or approve the fabric ahead of time? I think you should definitely do that before she does any further work, if the color isn’t what you wanted.
Post # 7
I personally think you went a little overboard. It doesn’t look like what you want, so be an adult about it and call/e-mail the seamstress and express your concerns with her. Getting hysterical and crying about it and saying nasty things is never okay unless you’ve exhausted all options and just can’t help it. I hope you don’t think I’m being rude. I’m sure you’re just really stressed right now, but I know if one of my friends was acting like that (or if I was acting like that…I’m no saint), I’d want someone to tell me that I was being a little bit extreme. I think that with a few more layers of tulle the skirt could still work out. Just breathe and remember to keep it classy. If you have to question your reaction, then chances are that it wasn’t the right one.
Post # 8
You have a right to be upset, but “crying hysterically”? My goodness girl, pull yourself together. I’d hate to see what you do in a real crisis.
I think you’re probably going to be better off hiring someone else who will make what you ask for. It might cost you more, but you’ll get what you’re paying for at least.
Post # 9
I didn’t vote but…I kind of agree with PurpleUnicorn. If this was me, I don’t think I would’ve gotten that upset over it. I wouldve just told her “great for the picture..but thats not what I wanted. Can you make it more like the pictures that I sent. Obviously it needs more tulle.” Everyone has the right to be upset at things but there is a way to be professional and mature about it.
Post # 10
As a fashion designer, I can see the bones of what you asked for in what she sent. It looks like she needs to add more tulle to the skirt and correct the color.
Is she doing a sample dress before she does the actual ones?
Did you help her source the fabric? Tulle usually doesn’t come in a lot of colors, and I dont think I have ever seen dark gray tulle. It may be possible that she got tulle in a dyable quality and plans to dye the whole thing for consistant color.
I would call and ask her how she envisions getting what she sent you in the picture to look more like your inspiration in the color that you wanted.
Post # 11
I don’t think there’s any way she could make a skirt that full without it costing a fortune- if you put a crinoline under it it should look right. It looks like the white dress you posted has a crinoline under it, so she probably assumed you would add that in. Don’t get too upset, it will be poofy. You should probably apologize to your Maid/Matron of Honor for freaking out on her… Dresses, particularly in this stage, are always changeable. You should just email her that you want it poofier and if she can do this or you need crinolines.
Post # 12
also, if you decide not to go with her, i recommend checking out netbride.com. they carry ALOT of designers and their price quotes are usually in the low $100 range,. Between myself and another friend, we just ordered about 10 dresses from them and it arrived 3 weeks earlier than the date they guaranteed. i have also ordered from them a couple of years ago for a wedding i was in and had an equally good experience.
Post # 13
it’s not finished yet – maybe refocusing her on her vision is a good idea, but going ape shit over an unfinished product is overboard.
Post # 14
I don’t think it was appropriate to basically put your Maid/Matron of Honor in the middle of this. If you have concerns, you should contact the person you hired directly. I would definitely make sure you act put-together during the conversation and not hysterical. It sounds like your Maid/Matron of Honor should get a very nice apology too.
Post # 15
Just wanted to say that I hope things work out for you! Could you maybe use a short crinoline underneath the dresses to get the look you wanted? Just something I was thinking about.