Yeah, The PTQ is a little more then a video game. His passion is Magic: The Gathering. The PTQ is short for “pro tour qualifer” so it is a big deal, but not to me.
Here is part of our conversation this morning:
TP: oh bleh. It’s pretty important, food, and everything
if you don’t care then just skip it
Mr: well, I certainly trust your judgment, and while I do want to be involved in wedding decisions, I liked their menu, and I certainly trust your decision on this. I don’t want to upset you though
Mr: and I know I committed to doing it, and I’m certainly prepared to honor that, but id like to back out if it won’t anger the gods too much 😉
TP: I’m fighting my “I want you to come” and trying to figure out if you really need to come.. It will be looking at hotels for the guys, so there is that. and I really wanted you to see Hotel Monaco with me, so there is that. Sigh, and rehearsal dinner is technically the “grooms responsibility” argh
I don’t know
Mr: Ok look, I’m going to make this call. I’m going to stay here. I think you and I can do a little “reconnaissance” of our own this weekend there, what do you think? ;);)
TP: what does that mean?
Mr: it means I want to take you there for dinner this weekend 😀
TP: we can’t afford dinner there, not right now.
Mr: well, we can scope it at least
Mr: basically what I’m trying to say is I’m down for checking it out if you wanted to on our own, maybe another time. But I’m ok going with your judgment on this
TP: yeah I mean this is a very important part of the wedding
it’s just as Important as the reception, and technically this is all suppose to be you
You’re suppose to be in charge and what not
Mr: ok I don’t want to argue hon
TP: Yeah, I’m annoyed
Mr: I didn’t want to annoy you 🙁
TP: I know
I’m just torn b/c I know what you want to do
so I’m fighting my “just please him” and knowing I’ll be upset and the “let’s put this all out on the table”
TP: I don’t know
you probably could “not” go to this, but I think I’m going to be annoyed about that
I feel this is very important to have all of our feedback but now I know you’re not going to be very congenial knowing you’re missing a PTQ So it’s “do I want to be annoyed” or do I “potentially want to be annoyed b/c you’re going to be annoyed” or I’m “worried about you” thoughts that will be going off in my head
And I planned this around your schedule, I would like you to meet Whitney since I’ve worked with her in the past and I wanted to talk with my Mom some more about your recent job offers.
Mr: ok I understand
TP: so I don’t know
but it’s clear from your “I’ll take the head of this” and staying home that you clearly don’t want to go now
Mr: frankly, I don’t feel that I will bring any unique perspective to the table on this, and I don’t think it’s really “needed” that I be there. I feel comfortable agreeing with your decisions, and like I pointed out earlier, I have been super supportive in going to all of the wedding plans we had made, this is the first I’m bailing on.
TP: I can’t ever win these things
so I don’t even know why you bother asking.. b/c it’s clear what you want to do otherwise you wouldn’t bring it up, so you ask to make me the bad guy. Either I’m going to be the bitch that demands you come or I can be cranky with myself b/c I really wanted you to come (which you knew) and I even told you how excited I am and all this
Mr: this wasn’t meant to be a “win lose” thing
TP: who are you kidding?
it’s clear you would rather sit there and play on a PTQ which you’re probably not even prepared for, then come and that was clear as soon as you asked
so now I’m either the bad guy or good guy for you, but upset for me
Mr: sweetie, I didn’t want this argument. if you had said flat out “yes id really need/want you to come, please come” then I come, no problem.
I’m just trying to feel it out and see what wiggle room there is
TP: it’s not that easy
Mr: why not? why can’t it be?
TP: b/c I feel like you knew how excited I was about this (sitting on the couch I said 3 times how I can’t wait for Thursday)
but you still decided to bring this up and put the ball in my court
Mr: sigh. I’m sorry I put you in an awkward position that was not my intent
TP: what am I suppose to do here
Mr: I’m sorry hon. I didn’t mean to make this such a mess 🙁
I don’t see him much, b/c he is on the “stays up late and sleeps in” schedule since he is laid off and I am on the “getting up early and going to bed reasonable time” schedule since I’m working still.