(Closed) Am I overreacting?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
14065 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sounds like she’s pretty strapped for cash if she’s been kicked out and had no where to go.  If you want her in the wedding party, theres no choice but to suck it up and pay for the dress.  If you dont and its just his mom pushing it, and she’s refusing to pay, then I’d refuse too and say if she cant get the dress, then she cant be in the party.

Post # 4
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@stephko99:  You’re definitely not overreacting, but I guess in order to keep some family harmony, you should buy the dress so the girl doesn’t feel caught in the middle. She will thank you later.

Post # 5
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It sounds like she has some money problems.  $50-75 might not seem like a lot to you, but it can be a lot for someone who is living paycheck to paycheck and has that many kids.  And don’t forget, the dress probably won’t be the first and only expense of being a bridesmaid.  I think you should pay for the dress if you want her in your wedding. 

Post # 7
Member
3462 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

It’s hard to know whether someone is strapped for cash because she may still owe a lot of debt.  Ultimately it’s the problem of asking someone who isn’t yet an independent adult to be in the wedding – the burden goes to a parent who may be unwilling to accept it.  You can let the girl know that your gift to her will be the dress (just don’t get all of the other girls matching items then or she’ll feel left out).  But also, if it’s next August…she may be able to pay for part of it by then by babysitting (which isn’t a “real” job in the same sense as working at a fast food joint after school). It’s a lot of cash for a teenager to part with though.

Post # 8
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

I completely understand how you are feeling.

Post # 9
Member
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You’re not over-reacting at all.  I asked all my bm’s to pay for their dresses as well since we’re on such a tight budget already (the bm’s dresses are being made so I agreed to foot the cost of the material).  However, I am paying for my 14 year old sister’s dress.  My mom is already pretty strapped for cash, is also in my wedding so has to pay for her own dress plus has to buy plane tickets for 4-5 people to come to the wedding so it was the least I could do.

 

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