Post # 1
Darling Husband and I are expecting our first child this November. We were thrilled when we found out and couldn’t wait to share the news with our family. We told my family a few weeks ago and they were so excited for us, it was great. Last weekend we told my mother and father inlaw. Yesterday we did a 5 hour return trip to tell the rest of my inlaws (4 siblings, their partners and 9 nieces/nephews). We were really excited about sharing our news.
When we arrive, the entire family is there except his sister since she lives in another province. His mom suggests that we wait to announce our news until his sister is on skype. As soon this happens, she announces to everyone that she’s pregnant with her second child. While I am thrilled for them, I was totally shocked. I couldn’t figure out why my mother-in-law would do this. Why she would think we’d feel special making our announcement after her daughter has just announced her second pregnancy and everyone has gotten so excited for her.
I looked at my Darling Husband and said let’s wait because this should be his sister’s moment and I’d prefer to have our own moment at a later date. Anyhow, his mom kept asking if we had anything to say… so we congratulated his sister and we kept saying no, nothing else and shaking our head at her. She kept insisting many times over and finally my Darling Husband said we were pregnant too. People said congrats, but it really wasn’t much fanfare after they were all just riled up over his sister’s announcement. I felt totally deflated. It totally was not the way I wanted to announce our pregnancy.
I’m feeling really disappointed in his mother. I just cannot understand how she thought having her daughter announce right before us would make us feel special and then I’m really disappointed she didn’t just drop it when she could clearly see we didn’t want to share the news and even said that.
I’m really saddened since that was not at all what I was hoping for. Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
She was probably just excited and wanted all sorts of good news at once. In the grand scheme of things, this won’t matter.
Post # 4
Why are pregnancy announcements a “thing” now? Seriously. Can’t family just be happy for each other?
Post # 5
@RunningGal: I get where you’re coming from… you were so excited to share your news, and it wasn’t what you imagined it would be. No, it won’t matter in the long run, but I would probably be sulking a bit if I were you. Try not to think about it anymore… everyone is excited for you, and you’re having a baby! This is just one of those things you’ll have to let go; it’s not worth dwelling on.
Post # 6
I totally see how you feel here! Someone else just got handed the opportunity to steal your thunder. There’s not much you can do or say now out of not causing any dramas, but I’d make your baby shower and everything tonnes better!
Post # 7
I think you’re overreacting. It wasn’t malicious; things just didn’t go the way you wanted them to.
Post # 8
@SnurfMurph86: Because it’s a really big deal for most people to share with their loved ones that they are pregnant. Why not have a little fun with it??
Post # 9
I completely understand. This is your first child and wanted the announcement to be exciting and joyful, and what you got were hand me down excitment . I beleive it to be a tad bit rude on the Mother-In-Law part just because she knew what ya’ll were about to announce, but let her daughter (steal ya’lls thunder) so to speak and it was her 2nd child. My feelings would be disappointed,and upset. Hopefully when it comes to the baby shower, and other things that go along with having your first baby, you will be able to have the moments you were hoping for and have them seperate from the sister.
Post # 10
@PermaStudent: Because fun turns into anger about announcement thunder being stolen far too often.
Post # 11
Based on what you have said, I am assuming your Mother-In-Law didn’t know your SIL’s pregnancy news, she probably asked you to wait until she was on Skype so you could tell everyone at once, which is why you drove all that way, to tell everyone at one place at one time. That’s what I would think.
But if she did know, she maybe thought it would be doubly exciting.
Post # 12
I would definitely be hurt too!
That being said, there is nothing you can really do about it now. So allow yourself a week or so to be upset as you want, and then get over it & move on. Holding a grudge isn’t going to do you any good in this situation!
Post # 13
I think she either didn’t know about SIL’s pregnancy or if she did, she was extremely excited about both of you. I mean these babies will be cousins and born around the same time, you guys are suddenly going to be parents and aunts/uncles, and she will be a grandma X 2! I think that’s cause for rejoicing and there were no ill intentions.
Post # 14
@SnurfMurph86: Well, you have to announce it somehow! Feelings can get hurt whether you plan something fun or just walk up and blurt it out. I do agree though that people should learn to be happy for each other no matter how it comes out, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
Post # 15
Thanks for everyone’s perspectives. It’s true that I am mainly disappointed because it didn’t work out how we had hoped and it’s all so fresh since this only happened last night.
I am really excited that my baby will have a cousin around the same age and truly happy for my sister-in-law. I just would have preferred that yesterday was her day to share her news and we could’ve shared ours at a different time. It’s done now so I’m going to try my best to forget about it all and move on.
Post # 16
I would be dissapointed as well, but not in Mother-In-Law. Just that it didnt go the way you expected it.
Assumign she knew about the other pregnancy, she probably thought the more the better!
The fact that they didnt seem as excited is likely for two reasons,
1) they were that excited but you were already upset and may have been reading the situation wrong
2) You were already dissapointed so your own feelings were leaking through and people were picking up on your deflation. Often our own feelings/body language is a self fullfilling prophecy because people react to it.