(Closed) .Am I overreacting?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

you’re totally and completely overreacting. guys don’t like to talk on the phone, period. he did have you in his mind. that’s what matters!!!

 

hugs and feel better!

Post # 4
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yes, I think you are overreacting. Most men don’t like to talk on the phone. My husband will text me all day long And I won’t hear his voice until he gets off work at night when he comes home. When we were dating it was the same way. It used to bother me a little bit, but when I realized that its just easier and sometimes more convenient for him to text then I got over it. At least he texts you and communictes with you, ya know? Some men don’t even do that! If it really bothers you that much then maybe just casually bring it up that you’d like for him to call a little more often because you like to hear his voice. I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it, though. 

Post # 5
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

@mrsgutztobe:  to answer your post title/question, I personally think you might be overreacting a bit. I just got back from a long international trip and it’s tough. On the other hand, you know him and your relationship best so if you feel something is out of character I would wonder (as you are) whether it this interpretation is based on your internal feelings of loss about his departure or whether there is something characteristically different about his reaction to you or integrity that cannot be accounted for by the fatigue and busy travel arrangements.

Post # 7
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I speak as someone whose Fiance works in another province and is away for weeks at a time…

have you told him how you feel? Does he know you prefer talking rather than texting? If you haven’t expressed yourself, how do you expect him to know?

Some people just prefer texting. I love my Fiance with all my heart but I would rather not talk on the phone with him (or anyone else for that matter).

IDK, maybe it’s just me, but I think you’re overreacting.

Post # 8
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Maybe I’m different because we’re long distance and we both travel a lot, but I think you’re overreacting. He was presumably a bit busy tying up loose ends, sent you text messages to say bye. We always just text or email when we’re leaving, and it’s a good enough sign we’re thinking of each other.

Post # 9
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@mrsgutztobe:  OK, I do think you are overreacting. This is clearly the way he communicates, and to him is not a way of treating you as unimportant. He wanted a text from you saying you love him – which means that a text makes him feel sufficiently loved, so he assumed it would for you, too.  Maybe for him seeing words of affirmation written like that and being able to carry them around makes him feel more loved than even hearing them.

If you need to have him talk to you out loud, you need to TELL him that. You should have told him, “OK, make SURE to call me before you get on the plane, OK? That is really important to me.” You currently are upset because you wanted him to magically know exactly how you feel loved, and he wasn’t able to read your mind. Communication, communication. When he gets back, just calmly talk to him and tell him that for you, actual calls are more important, especially before big events.  

Currently, he has obviously done nothing at all to hurt you on purpose. He said he loved you a bunch in a way he thought was good. Let any bitterness go for this current situation.

Post # 10
Member
1159 posts
Bumble bee

You’re overreacting. I’m a texted too. Infact I hate calling. It doesn’t mean anything.

Post # 11
Member
2952 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

Sorry but you are totally overreacting (probably because you are going to miss him which is really sweet)

Remember he did send you a message so he is thinking about you! Men think differently to us and if it were reversed he probably wouldn’t even think twice about it.

Post # 12
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Although men do think differently than women do, I would want to hear his voice before not speaking with him for 2 weeks or taking a long trip. Thats just me! I totally understand you feeling this way but it seems like he really is just the texting type. I would just casually communicate to him your feelings regarding text/phone conversations.

Post # 13
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

Completely overreacting.

He’s not a mind reader.  If you want to talk to him on the phone, call him.

Texting is just faster and easier.  I definitely prefer it, and lots of people do.  If that’s not you, you need to tell him, but also accept and allow that not all circumstances are going to allow for a call.  If the options are text, or no contact, wouldn’t you rather get texts?

Post # 14
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

1000% overreacting. It’s just a two week vacation, and they do have the Internet/cellular service/postcards in Europe too. Don’t be the clingy new girlfriend! This is your chance to prove to him you are self sufficient and not clingy!

Post # 15
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrsgutztobe:  I know exactly what you mean. I told my Fiance the same thing about talking to me on the phone. He always wants to hang up first after a few minutes. He says he doesn’t like to talk on the phone and rather talk in person. I always tease him now. When he wants to hang up do quick, I say, “You don’t love me, that’s why you want to hang up.” or “Am I too boring for you, that’s why you want to hang up?”  I’m totally joking tho. He just says oh be quiet. Lol. But now I try to say everything I need to tell him and hang up first by saying, “Ok, talk to you later” before he does. Lol It’s ok to tell him how you feel and see what he says about it. Don’t make it a big deal tho. I told my Fiance how I felt and he just said he doesn’t like talking on the phone, in person is better; I understood and know its not just me he doesn’t want to talk to. But we txt all day to each other. Lol. 

 

Post # 16
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Def overreacting 🙂 if I want my husband to call me and it didn’t look like he was, I would just call him myself. 

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