Post # 1
Okay…so i’ve been with my new boyfriend for just over 6 months now. He’s a wonderful guy, very sweet, respectful and caring to me. He and I have a great relationship and haven’t even had a reason to ever argue over anything. The only thing negative I can really say about him is that he often will text me instead of calling me. We both work long hours and hard jobs, (he’s a cop and im an rn) and at the moment we both work night shifts so we’re usually exhausted or sleeping half the time. He usually calls me in the morning on his way home from work and on his nights off if he doesn’t see me. In between he will text a lot though, which is okay to a point. There are times where we’ll go a whole day just texting, esp if one of us is working. It used to bother me more in the beginning when we started dating, but now i think i got a bit used to it.
Anyway, tonight my bf left on a 2 week trip to europe he’s had planned for months with a couple of his long time friends. I have no problem with him going away on vaca with his guys, in fact i like that he’s going to experience a vaca with his guys. He was flying standby on a buddypass (his mom worked for the airlines) and for a day it looked like he wasn’t going to make it onto the flight bc it was so booked. So today after he got off work, he went home and we texted back and forth about the flight. Finally around 5 pm tonight he texted me that he would get on…i was so happy and couldn’t wait to talk to him to wish him a safe trip. So a few minutes pass and texts me that he loves me so much and is going to miss me like crazy. I was just in shock…i waited a few minutes still expecting him to call me and he sends me another text saying “love me lol”, which means to answer him before he leaves. I was so heartbroken that he wasn’t going to call me. Finally i decided to call him real quick to say goodbye, he literally answered “i gotta make this quick were leaving, i love you and ill text u when im there..”
Now i should mention i did get to say goodbye to him the night before and all, he told me how much he’s gonna miss me and kept asking what I want him to bring back and such…etc… but all i wanted to do was literally say igoodbye, i love you and have a safe trip on the phone for 5 secs before he left. He had enough time to text me twice, post his status on fb and im sure text everyone else in his life before he left. I felt like i deserved the courtesy of a 10 second phone call, of which i had texted him to call me before he left earlier that day.
I don’t know, but this completely ruined my night because i felt so unimportant and just like i wasn’t worth the phone call. I know he was tired and sitting next to other people so they can overhear, but i dont think thats a good excuse. If I was going away for a couple weeks i’d want to talk to the one i love before i left for a while. I don’t understand why he would just send a simple text. I plan to approach him when he returns home and tell him how hurt this makes me feel and that I want things to change regarding texting all the time.
I dont know if im overreacting or anything b/c i am sad that i’ll miss him, but my sister even agrees that he should have called out of respect. I’m just hurt.
Post # 3
you’re totally and completely overreacting. guys don’t like to talk on the phone, period. he did have you in his mind. that’s what matters!!!
hugs and feel better!
Post # 4
Yes, I think you are overreacting. Most men don’t like to talk on the phone. My husband will text me all day long And I won’t hear his voice until he gets off work at night when he comes home. When we were dating it was the same way. It used to bother me a little bit, but when I realized that its just easier and sometimes more convenient for him to text then I got over it. At least he texts you and communictes with you, ya know? Some men don’t even do that! If it really bothers you that much then maybe just casually bring it up that you’d like for him to call a little more often because you like to hear his voice. I wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it, though.
Post # 5
@mrsgutztobe: to answer your post title/question, I personally think you might be overreacting a bit. I just got back from a long international trip and it’s tough. On the other hand, you know him and your relationship best so if you feel something is out of character I would wonder (as you are) whether it this interpretation is based on your internal feelings of loss about his departure or whether there is something characteristically different about his reaction to you or integrity that cannot be accounted for by the fatigue and busy travel arrangements.
Post # 7
I speak as someone whose Fiance works in another province and is away for weeks at a time…
have you told him how you feel? Does he know you prefer talking rather than texting? If you haven’t expressed yourself, how do you expect him to know?
Some people just prefer texting. I love my Fiance with all my heart but I would rather not talk on the phone with him (or anyone else for that matter).
IDK, maybe it’s just me, but I think you’re overreacting.
Post # 8
Maybe I’m different because we’re long distance and we both travel a lot, but I think you’re overreacting. He was presumably a bit busy tying up loose ends, sent you text messages to say bye. We always just text or email when we’re leaving, and it’s a good enough sign we’re thinking of each other.
Post # 9
@mrsgutztobe: OK, I do think you are overreacting. This is clearly the way he communicates, and to him is not a way of treating you as unimportant. He wanted a text from you saying you love him – which means that a text makes him feel sufficiently loved, so he assumed it would for you, too. Maybe for him seeing words of affirmation written like that and being able to carry them around makes him feel more loved than even hearing them.
If you need to have him talk to you out loud, you need to TELL him that. You should have told him, “OK, make SURE to call me before you get on the plane, OK? That is really important to me.” You currently are upset because you wanted him to magically know exactly how you feel loved, and he wasn’t able to read your mind. Communication, communication. When he gets back, just calmly talk to him and tell him that for you, actual calls are more important, especially before big events.
Currently, he has obviously done nothing at all to hurt you on purpose. He said he loved you a bunch in a way he thought was good. Let any bitterness go for this current situation.
Post # 10
You’re overreacting. I’m a texted too. Infact I hate calling. It doesn’t mean anything.
Post # 11
Sorry but you are totally overreacting (probably because you are going to miss him which is really sweet)
Remember he did send you a message so he is thinking about you! Men think differently to us and if it were reversed he probably wouldn’t even think twice about it.
Post # 12
Although men do think differently than women do, I would want to hear his voice before not speaking with him for 2 weeks or taking a long trip. Thats just me! I totally understand you feeling this way but it seems like he really is just the texting type. I would just casually communicate to him your feelings regarding text/phone conversations.
Post # 13
He’s not a mind reader. If you want to talk to him on the phone, call him.
Texting is just faster and easier. I definitely prefer it, and lots of people do. If that’s not you, you need to tell him, but also accept and allow that not all circumstances are going to allow for a call. If the options are text, or no contact, wouldn’t you rather get texts?
Post # 14
1000% overreacting. It’s just a two week vacation, and they do have the Internet/cellular service/postcards in Europe too. Don’t be the clingy new girlfriend! This is your chance to prove to him you are self sufficient and not clingy!
Post # 15
@mrsgutztobe: I know exactly what you mean. I told my Fiance the same thing about talking to me on the phone. He always wants to hang up first after a few minutes. He says he doesn’t like to talk on the phone and rather talk in person. I always tease him now. When he wants to hang up do quick, I say, “You don’t love me, that’s why you want to hang up.” or “Am I too boring for you, that’s why you want to hang up?” I’m totally joking tho. He just says oh be quiet. Lol. But now I try to say everything I need to tell him and hang up first by saying, “Ok, talk to you later” before he does. Lol It’s ok to tell him how you feel and see what he says about it. Don’t make it a big deal tho. I told my Fiance how I felt and he just said he doesn’t like talking on the phone, in person is better; I understood and know its not just me he doesn’t want to talk to. But we txt all day to each other. Lol.
Post # 16
Def overreacting 🙂 if I want my husband to call me and it didn’t look like he was, I would just call him myself.