(Closed) Am I overreacting? : (

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

I don’t blame you, my Fiance travels for work on occassion to and I would be LIVID. By the time he got home I would’ve changed the locks. If he’s being defensive like this, I hate to say it but I think he’s done something very wrong πŸ™ and isn’t putting any consideration into how this is making you feel. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.

Post # 3
Member
3724 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. I don’t have any advice exactly but I absolutely don’t think you’re over reacting. His actions and words definitely make it seem like he’s up to something. The fact that he’s trying to make you feel guilty and reverse the blame is a big tip off too.

Post # 4
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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SunnierDaysAhead:  Oh I am so so sorry. πŸ™ πŸ™ But I’m not going to sugar coat this: your man is cheating, I can’t see any other explanation. 

And the “talking to a woman because she’s having problems with her bf” excuse – I’ve heard that one before. It must be in the cheaters’ handbook.

Post # 5
Member
2456 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - City, State

I don’t think you overreacted AT ALL.

I think you were very smart the way you handled things with “Cindy” and your Fiance. Those texts would have been incriminating enough for me and on top of that, your Fiance hasn’t called all night– that’s unacceptable! And there is definitely something off with Cindy saying that he looks “sexier” without his beard. Your Fiance should be trying to do anything and everything to ease your mind given the circumstances, especially since you don’t seem like a jealous psycho Fiance based on your post. 

I would say trust your gut and that feeling in your stomach. It’s never wrong. Just try to stay as calm as you can and don’t let your imagination run too wild (I know it’s easier said than done). I would try to get him to have a full conversation with you over the phone or Skype ASAP until you can see him in person and see his body language and talk this out.

Unfortunately, I really don’t think this is some sort of a misunderstanding though between Cindy’s texts + your Fiance avoiding you. He sounds like he’s been cheating.

FWIW I’m sorry this is happening to you. πŸ™

Post # 7
Member
1354 posts
Bumble bee

Yikes! I’m so sorry you are going through all this. No, you aren’t overreacting. He is acting very suspiciously, and getting really defensive over legitimate questions and hasn’t provided any reassuring details about his whole situation. If the whole thing could be explained innocently, he would be falling over himself to prove that he isn’t fooling around with Cindy. It is very puzzling why he would use your phone to text a girlfriend, though. Surely she would have his number if they are comfortable enough to hang out in her hotel room together. And wouldn’t he have warned her that he was using your phone? He has some major explaining to do

Post # 8
Member
985 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You didn’t overreact. I agree with these ladies. He’s cheating… There is no way around this. I’m so sorry πŸ™

Post # 9
Member
702 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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SunnierDaysAhead:  oh wow hun, I am so sorry that you’re going through this right now πŸ™ I would be having a heart attack over a fraction of what you’re dealing with. Bottom line, in no way, shape or form are you overreacting. 

Even if there WAS a perfectly acceptable explanation for what went on, the guy’s behaviour is so suspicious that to me, it would be an admittance to something in itself. A man who loves you cares about how you feel and what you think, especially when there’s reason to think it! If the tables were turned, and something pointed to you being unfaithful, would you be compassionate and try to work everything out with him so there’s NO doubts in his mind? 

He’s acting like an asshole who has something to hide. And you, don’t for one minute question yourself. A trustworthy, loyal partner doesn’t try to re-define your reality.

Post # 10
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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SunnierDaysAhead:  I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And I hate to say it this way but only guilty people (or people with something to hide) get mad so quickly at accusations…..

I really hope I’m wrong, but my past history with cheating men has shown otherwise. 

Good luck and big hugs!

Post # 11
Member
877 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This sounds extremely shady to me. It’s clear that he did leave his iPad in her room, and if he forgot it there then he was obviously inside her room for quite a while. You don’t dump your electronics somewhere if you are just stopping by or standing in the doorway chatting.

Even if nothing did happen between them – why is she telling him he’s ‘sexy’? Why are they having dinner alone? Why is he telling her intimate things about his life? At the very least he has crossed a LOT of boundaries, but it sounds to me like he is also cheating physically. Even worse, he is lying to you about where he was and what he has done. I’m very sorry.

Post # 12
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You didn’t overact AT ALL! If he is seriously stupid enough to text her from your phone then he is stupid enough to cheat. Not to mention she is obviously an idiot for texting your phone instead of his! It just doesn’t make sense. I guess my only  defense that he may not be cheating is that nobody is dumb enough to text the person they are cheating with from their Fiance phone- at least you would hope!

Post # 13
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No way do I think you are overreacting in this situation. I think he defintely could have texted her from your phone to let her know NOT to call or text his. Do you think she could be trying to start trouble with you knowing that was not his phone number, but yours? Maybe she wants you to know of whats going on so that she can try to tear you both apart. 

Either way, don’t take this lightly. Keep your head up! 

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by cushionlove.
Post # 14
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

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SunnierDaysAhead: You are not overracting. There’s a reason why she hung up on the spot when you called her phone. And you husban knows exacly what he’s doin.

Post # 15
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Ugh, I’m so sorry.  

Please do not let him gaslight you or make you think your reactions aren’t warranted.  They are.  Right now he has given you every reason to believe the worst, and the burden of proof is in his hands.

So sorry πŸ™

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