Post # 31
Does Bridesmaid or Best Man plan to hike between the two festivities?
In the summer of 2010, my son and five of his friends were married. It was hysterical and fun and no big deal, and we all loved it.
Relax and be glad you’re marrying a great guy and let the nonsense be nonsense. Because it is.
Post # 32
ann.reid.9277 : yeah but they were all still able to attend each other’s festivities. It’s only nonsense when it makes no difference. It significantly alterations our wedding party. So much so that we even looked in to what kind of a loss we would take if we switch our date.
Post # 33
My statement was worded poorly- because someone else has done something awkwardly and rather unfairly, don’t allow the circumstances to detract from your event.
I was referring to the other couple’s carelessly made decision as “nonsense”, not anything you had done. In a case such as yours, you have to make the difficult effort to maximize the joy of your event, even without the missing participant. Your disappointment is totally reasonable, and understood.
Post # 34
So confused!! So she knew it was a horrible thing to do and what, they don’t care? So bizarre for them to know what they are doing to their friends but continue to do it?
When she told you she was aware did they say why they are sticking with that date?! Just trying to understand what their reaction was to knowing it was hurtful. Like what did they say to chris when he informed them their date sucked? Did they offer any explanation why they did that? Why they don’t care? Just so odd!! Who is that unfeeling?
I agree with other people, I’d be looking at Chris at this point to do the right thing. He should tell Alex to shove it. Your wedding date was first and Chris should stick to that commitment and tell Alex he has no right to be upset about that as this was Alex’s choice to decide on a bad date. All the burden of what happens is on Alex and no one else. F him.
Post # 35
ladyjane123 : they want a “fall themed date” was the response that we got. If it was an anniversary or something I could at least understand it.
Even if they just host their wedding one/two weeks earlier or later it would avoid all of this drama. I dont understand. Chris can get every other weekend off no problem. Its the back to back thing thats hard with his employment contract. Fianancially we would eliminate the burden by paying for the plane ticket.
Note: if we switch our date at this point we basically forefit all contracts that are already paid for in full. We can not afford to switch the date. We were going to and then have the invitations redesigned.
Post # 36
Have you actually talked to Chris about this, and has he told you which wedding he’ll choose?
As numerous PPs have said, he should really choose your wedding over Alex’s since you booked the date first, sent your save-the-dates, and the whole conflict is entirely Alex’s fault.
Not to mention, Alex still hasn’t actually booked anything, so I wouldn’t necessarily count on their wedding happening on that day.
Post # 37
And the weekend before the date they picked didn’t work?
I’m so sorry. Don’t switch any of your things. You choose first and all of your invites are out and money is spent. Alex made a poor choice, knowingly. Your friendship with him probably won’t ever be the same. But this isn’t your fault and no one would ever think it was. All your friends and family can see you chose the date before them. Alex is just going to look like an asshole. I really hope Chris makes the right choice and sticks with you guys. It’s the right thing to do so hopefully he does it.
If I were you I’d be petty and not attend alex’s Wedding. I also wouldn’t be friends with him much after the wedding.
Post # 38
I feel like some bees are missing your point here. It’s not so much about having their wedding less than two weeks before yours, it’s the fact that they’re disregarding your feelings by being inconsiderate to your groomsman’s prior commitment and essentially trying to force him to choose to break it. That’s a dick move.