(Closed) Am I overreacting

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

As much as it hurt you, I know he didn’t intentionally not say “I love you” one last time. He already told you that he loved you. When they are in boot camp, they are under very strict rules and if they do too many “gushy” things, they will get in trouble. Sometimes, when a guy recieves a letter from his girl/FI/Wife/SO, he even has to do push ups or some other absurd thing before they will give it to him. You have to understand that there are also a kazillion other boot camp guys and girls that are wanting to use the phone, so it is crucial that they stick to the 5 minute rule. You are lucky that he was allowed to call at all.

Post # 4
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It can be really difficult when they are in boot camp. Sometimes I would get to talk to my husband for 8 to 10 minutes some nights only 2 or 5. I remember hearing yelling in the background and all of a sudden he would say “gotta go” or he would just say that because they would be getting a signal to go. It can be a very stressful time. Don’t worry about it too much. You have to remember that you get to be near your friends and family and they dont. They need our support as much as possible. I found out I was pregnant while my husband was in boot camp and I only had about 4 minutes to tell him and then they were getting yelled at to leave – the conversation definitely did not go the way I had planned it. It will get better. They usually get more time to talk at different points. I know for my husband there was no privacy around the phones so sometimes the lovey dovey stuff can be embarrassing when there is 10 more guys hanging around waiting to use the phone – it can be very awkward for them. It may not seem like a big deal to us – but for guys it is.

Hang in there!!!!!!!


Post # 5
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not sure how the phone timing works (neither of us are military) but I understand the bit of a let down not getting your ‘I love you.’ Fiance does this every once in a while, and he doesn’t even notice. His family never says it during phone calls (or even goodbye!), and it’s taken a looong time for him to make it a habit with me. Next time we visit, I just mention it to him and that I’d like 2 the next time 🙂 I think being bummed a bit silly, but I do it too! Sometimes they just don’t notice those things.

ETA- The other bees mentioned the ‘gushy’ comments being a bit embarrassing for the guys. I noticed once on a police show, the officer would always end his short conversations with his wife ‘1433’…I (1) Love (4) you (3) too (3). Maybe he’d like to have your own secret code between the two of you. 

Post # 6
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

awww im so sorry!!! i know when i was in basic training (army) we got monitored, timed phone calls, we would get 5 minutes and later 10 minutes and the phone would let you know when you have 1 minute left, 30 seconds left, and 10 seconds left and it would disconnect when your time was up. it sucked:( i usually just wrote letters because it was frustrating to wait in line to use the phone for up to 4 hours, and then only have 5 minutes to talk. 🙁 i understand your upset, and it sucks 🙁 also he may be surrounded by other people… maybe he doesnt want people to think hes “weak” or whatever for saying i love you. my suggestion would be to write him letters! i loved getting letters (even though i had to do pushups for them) and that way you can say as much or as little as you want and not get cut off… and im sure he would love reading them too!

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