- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2016
This will be a long post – I’ll try to keep it as short as possible.
Some friends of mine got engaged early last summer and immediately informed everyone it would be a destination wedding to an AI in Costa Rica Fall 2015 so we should start planning ahead. At the time I was still single and so was my BFF. I started dating someone in August of last year, about a month after the engagement. The Save the Dates arrived around October and indicated the wedding would be September 2015. The Save the Date was addressed to both my boyfriend and I and I told him he’d have a few months to decide if he wanted to attend or not. (He was on the fence because we’d only been dating a couple months and he wasn’t sure he was comfortable spending that much money when he hardly knows the couple, however by the time the wedding comes around we will have been together over a year and he knows them better now, but I digress.)
Around November/December, my BFF started asking me if my boyfriend was coming and when I told her he wasn’t sure she started guilt tripping me HARD about how if he comes then she and I can’t room together (we’ve gone on vacations together before, and obviously it would be the plan for us to travel as a “couple” if my boyfriend were not going to attend). She complained that she’d have to pay extra money for single occupancy and that she’d feel left out (everyone else invited to the wedding is either married/engaged/long-term relationship.) I told her I’d have to talk it over with my boyfriend and that it was really up to him if he chose to attend. I figured we had a ton of time to figure it all out but every week or so for the next couple of months she kept asking about it and wouldn’t let it go that it was going to be so annoying for her to pay more money and have less fun than everyone else and how my boyfriend didn’t even know the couple when they got engaged etc. I could sort of sympathize with her but it was getting kind of insulting. She was going on and on about why would my boyfriend even want to go and that it was too early in our relationship to be planning a trip like this (we went to Las Vegas together in November but OK) Anyways the invitation arrived in February and after months of me telling my boyfriend all about my BFF’s complaints he told me that he thought it would be better if I went with her so that she has a better time and that it wasn’t as important for him to go as it was that she and I didn’t have a rift in our frienship. He didn’t want her to hold any resentment toward him or I about the whole thing. I texted her and told her that he wasn’t coming because he thought we’d have a better time together and he didn’t want her feel like a third wheel (this was just a more sensitive way of saying what he’d said to me) She she was relieved and excited and we started brainstorming which kind of suite we would get, which restaurants we would eat at, what excursions we would take, etc. All was well and I RSVP’d to the wedding solo. We put our deposists down in April and final payment is due next week.
My BFF started dating a new guy in May (so 3 months after we RSVP’d). Fast forward to a few days ago, I got a text from the bride saying she “was really sorry but she couldn’t say no” and that my BFF would be talking to me laster that day. So my BFF and I go out for lunch and she tells me that her boyfriend, of less than 2 months, wants to come to the wedding and since she had originally gotten a +1 on her invite (of course, it’s only polite) that she had asked the bride if it would be okay to change her RSVP to 2. Umm okay… I was flabbergasted. After all that I could not even believe she was serious. I sort of snarkily asked her if his room would be near ours (obviously I knew she meant they would be rooming together) but I was not happy. I pointed out to her that she had guilt tripped me about being the only single person there and having to pay extra and how she had now put me in an even worse position. She attempted a, not very good apology, about how her boyfriend thought it sounded like a romantic trip and he wanted to spend it with her and she agreed. I laid into her about how of course it was going to be a romantic trip and that I’d love to be going with my boyfriend but we made a decision taking her feelings into account and that I didn’t expect she would have done the same for me had our situations been reversed originally but I certainly expect her to do so now. She countered with “well it’s not too late to bring your boyfriend or invite someone else” Except it totally is because after I RSVP’d back in February my boyfriend planned a trip out of town to visit some of his college buddies he hasn’t seen in 7 years for the same week and SHE KNOWS THIS. Also, I’m not going to ask some random friend to pay $1600 NEXT WEEK to go to Costa Rica for someone’s wedding they don’t even know. And that’s totally not even the point, even if I could bring someone else that doesn’t compensate for the fact that she left me out to dry. I ended up paying for my lunch and telling her that at the very least I expect her to cover half the price difference I will have to pay for single occupancy and I left. The total price difference is $280 which isn’t exorbitant, but still.
Anyways, that was a few days ago and I haven’t heard from her nor have I tried to contact her. I thought by now I might have cooled down a little but I am still really pissed about it. So bees, am I overreacting or am I justified in my feeliongs? What would you do?
- This topic was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by daynak.