(Closed) Am I Overreacting? Friendship Woes.

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

daynak:  oh my gosh, my blood is BOILING for you after reading that!!! i’m sure this just one case in a long pattern of selfish behavior on her part and i would be so done with her! i had a very narcissistic, self-involved SELFISH friend that i put up with for much longer than i should have that reminds me of this.  It was little things here and there that kind of annoyed me and she finally did something so very extreme i couldn’t ignore it anymore and completely cut her out of my life and haven’t seen her since.  

it was a big wake-up call to see how toxic she’d been for so long. i have been SO much happier not being friends with her.  it’s rough because we live in a smallish town and she is very vindictive and i’m not sure what would happen if we were to ever run into each other, but it’s been over a year now and i am so so so glad that i don’t have to deal with the selfishness.  what happened with your friend sounds like something my ex-friend would do.  cut her off and go on with your happiness! 

Post # 32
Member
9544 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would be super pissed. I would absolutely tell her that I think she’s being selfish and taking advantage of you. I’d then proceed with trying to have a great trip, because Costa Rica is awesome! I wouldn’t completely end the friendship, but I woudl definitely use this as a line in the sand that from here on out, you’re not going to bend over backwards to preserve her feelings when she clearly won’t do the same for you. This will clearly change the relationship, but it doesn’t have to end it. But this would just be the last damn straw. Geez!

Post # 33
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Honestly, most of the time when a thread has “am I overreacting?” in the title, the answer is YES. 

Your case is the exception! I would be really really pissed. I’ve had “friends” like this in the past…super clingy BFF when they’re single, and then they drop you like a hot potato the second they get a new man. It’s hard not to feel angry, used and resentful! Not only did she guilt you into missing out on the potential to go on a nice vacation with your boyfriend, but now she has put you in the exact position she didn’t want to be in! Unless she is generally an amazing friend and this is totally out of character for her, it would be very hard for me to get over my feelings on this and continue the friendship. 

Post # 34
Member
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I were you, I would gently ease her out of my life after the wedding.

Post # 35
Member
1265 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

WestCoastV:  +1!!!  

Yup I’d be livid. 95% of the time when I see a title like this, the obvious answer is, “yes you are overreacting,” but I totally agree with you here.  I’d play relatively nice until after wedding as to not cause drama, but then write her out of my life. She sounds totally self-centered. 

Post # 36
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I don’t think she is a true friend and I’d distance myself from her. I had a friend like her and forgave only to be stabbed in the back again. 

 

 

Post # 37
Member
1792 posts
Buzzing bee

$280 is a large amount of money for me so I’d be PISSED, you DEMAND that money! Don’t let her get away with this by avoiding you. Things like this have happened to me a few times, why do girls flake on good friends but bend over backwards to make their boyfriends happy? Disgusting.

Costa Rica is a beautiful place, if there’s any drama or you’re not having fun at the wedding, please explore the place and have some fun on your own! Everyone there is super friendly, the beaches are beautiful, everything is so pretty– and you might meet a new monkey friend to replace this dumb one with!

Post # 38
Member
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

daynak:  You stated this has been the pattern throughout the friendship. This is not a friend at all…to her, you are merely a friend when it works for her.

You need to stop “hearing her out”‘. You’re allowing her to constantly treat you as a second rate friend. 

It’s time to walk away from this “friendship”.

Post # 39
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I would be so pissed!!! If this is typical behavior for her then I’d cut her loose but if this is the first time she’s done something like this, then I would have her pay the difference, chew her ass out and then take a time out from the friendship for a while. Then maybe forgive her and move on if she seems truly sorry and wants to save your friendship. But it would take me a while to get over this one. I also think it is super weird for her to be so clingy like that. I would never ask a friend to not bring a bf on a trip. I hang out with my best friend and her husband sometimes and she hangs out with my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I sometimes and it’s not awkward and no one is a third wheel. It would be so weird if she asked me to not bring my Boyfriend or Best Friend to an event just because her husband couldn’t go. 

Post # 40
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Aaah OP I am sitting here LIVID on your behalf!!! She needs to pay you the difference, no ifs or buts she PAYS you!! How incredibly selfish of her to do this – I would end this friendship so fast! What a selfish b**h. Enjoy your holiday, relax, bring books, have spa treatments – TREAT yourself but seriously have nothing to do with this girl. 

Post # 41
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

She did you dirty. I would be done with this friendship, and I’d be clear with her about why. I’d text her and let her know that you won’t be starting any drama during the wedding out of respect for the bride, but that your friendship with her is over and you’d appreciate it if she respected your wishes and refrained from ever contacting you again. You’ll be polite if it’s necessary to speak to her at the wedding but you’d prefer she kept her distance from you during the trip and left you alone to enjoy your trip as much as you possibly can after she screwed you over like this.

Your friend is a selfish, manipulative bitch and I’d be done. She deserves to know that her shitty behavior is going to lose her friends. Ugh. Awful, awful, awful. 

Post # 42
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

Girl, I’m pissed off just reading this. I would bitch her out and then never talk to her again!

Post # 43
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

daynak:  Has she reached out to you yet OP? If she hasn’t then you really need to cut her out of your life. If she has you really need to think hard about cutting her out or at least really distancing yourself. 

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