(Closed) Am I overreacting? Long

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Am I over reacting?
    Yes, let it go. : (8 votes)
    29 %
    No, that seems like a valid reason to feel upset. : (20 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    126 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m sorry to hear this has happened to you. I think it’s a valid reason to be upset – I know I’d certainly be upset if I were in the same situation.

    Post # 4
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    It’s rude to commit to anything and then not show. That would upset me.

    I’m not sure what happened with bm 2. Did she tell you why she was leaving? Could she not afford to pay for drinks and cover? I would be more worried about what was going on with her than upset. 

    Post # 6
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @pink_champagne:  I think that the two bridesmaids had legitimate reasons for not being able to stay over – I know your bach party is really importnt to you but your BMs do have lives outside of it so if your Bridesmaid or Best Man would be busy the next day I get that. It might seem like your Bridesmaid or Best Man has all of this stuff but maybe she pays for it by saving up and didn’t think that a night in a hotel was a big priority? The Bridesmaid or Best Man and her husband may seem like hey have the money but you can never really know someone’s financial situation unless you look at their bank statements.  Getting really upset about them not being able to stay over would be overreacting. 

    Getting really upset about them bailing on you at the last minte however, is perfectly reasonable in my book. I can’t believe that one of your BMs didn’t even call! I mean who stands up a friend on the night of her bach party? I think it was especially sucky of her to let you know that she might not come because she was making arrangements for another party she cared more about. Ugh. 

    I’d be upset about the other Bridesmaid or Best Man too, I mean it’s a bachelorette party…you’re kinda supposed to stay out late. Especially if you promised that you would. If you’re a bridesmaid then you’re sort of obligated to go to these things if you can. Is it possible that she had work in the morning?  

    I’m glad that you had a good time anyway and didn’t let it spoil your night.

    I’d give the first Bridesmaid or Best Man a call and tell her that she hurt your feelings. Wait until you’ve calmed down a bit first (if you do it while angry you WILL end up screaming down the phone) and think about what you want to say to her. 


    Post # 7
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @pink_champagne:  Agree with PP.  They sound pretty rude for not showing up.  If they all live in the area and planned to come and celebrate, then they should have shown up and made the effort.  I can completely understand financial constraints, but I’ve certainly overextended myself for friends of mine for the exact same reason.  I guess you can’t always expect the same in return, but for Bridesmaid or Best Man 1 it sounds like her committment to her BF’s party the next night was more of a priority then you were, and Bridesmaid or Best Man 2 did make an effort showing up for dinner, but dinner is hardly the Bachelorette party!  I think what ultimately would really bother me, and I’m not sure whether this is the case in your situation or not, is this: I’m not planning my bachelorette party, my girls are!  So plan something that a)you can all attend and b)that you can afford!  My BMs are thousands of miles away, so I understand when they can’t attend everything, nor do I expect them to, but in your case, it sounds as though they all live close and should have been able to make it.


    Post # 8
    8882 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’d be upset. They made the committment and said they would be there.  TBH, I’d be more upset at Bridesmaid #1 because she ditched you for her BF’s party which was the day after. That’s ridiculous! 

    Post # 9
    12068 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’d be upset, and i think your feelings are valid.  However, I don’t think it’s anything to cause drama about.  Sulk, complain to your FH about it, stomp around grumpy and then put on your big girl pants and realize it was a party, things happen, they couldn’t make it.  They’ll be there for your wedding, the day that really matters and focus on that 🙂

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