(Closed) Am I overreacting?! MIL wants to know what everyone got us

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

You’re definitely not overreacting. It’s none of your MIL’s (or anyone else’s) business what gifts you got or how much they cost!

Post # 4
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Nosey. And just trying to feel important.

Post # 5
Member
1469 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is disgusting behavior. You are not overreacting! I’m furious just reading this! I’m also PMSing, but STILL! No one in my family would ever behave this way. 

Post # 6
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How creepy!

Post # 7
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Totally not her business. That is just so rude and weird. 

Post # 8
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s really not her business, but I get the feeling that she is miffed FOR you if people do not gift you “properly.” While it may not matter to you, the older generations I’ve noticed get quite ticked if someone does not bring a gift or a card with money to a wedding. Is she Italian? :> I can ask that without feeling badly…That is my culture, and that’s the way they are about wedding gifts.  It may seem nosey and gross to others, but it’s kind of like…validation and blessings upon your marriage.  For someone not to bring a gift or give you a small amount says that they don’t agree with the marriage.  Maybe call her and let her know that you’re winding down from wedding brain and just want some wedding free weeks to talk to her about other stuff, and when they do (and if) they do give a gift, you’ll let her know (or NOT…)? 😉

Post # 11
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@carolsdaughter:  Man, that’s none of her damn business.  I would feel the same as you!  Especially asking about your parents’ friends’ generosity and comparing to her own friends’ level of gift-giving.  I think that’s pretty rude.  🙁

Post # 12
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@carolsdaughter:  I’m thinking it’s cultural…What culture is she? Southern Living southern, or…You know, white glove debutante? They can be very odd about gifts, too.  My wife’s mother is that way… :/ She was a deb, raised white glove.  Very nosey and picky. 

Post # 13
Member
5957 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Not really worth worrying about, if money bags there wants to do everyone’s accounting I say let her….it’s a pretty feeble way to make yourself feel superior, but if that’s as good as it gets for this single minded miser, let her have her strange and demented fun.

Post # 15
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I totally understand. Future Mother-In-Law asks the same thing, and Future Father-In-Law (divorced) hovered over our shoulders asking how much cash was in all of the envelopes when we were forced to open our gifts in front of everyone at the engagement party he threw for us. I was so uncomfortable and didn’t feel it was appropriate at all! You’re not overreacting at all, but at the same time I don’t think you should waste your time being bothered by it, because the chances of her changing are slim to none.

Post # 16
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@carolsdaughter:  It’s rude, no matter how you slice it.  I’m just trying to understand her motives, however misguided. 

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